If I were...asked about fashion tips...

It poured in sheets. And then it stopped. Just when I was beginning to feel the spray of rain on my face…

Don’t want to feel low, so decided to indulge in one more of my ‘what if’ thingies…since no one is ever going to ask me stuff like this:

• What is your favourite item of clothing?
Cling film…I like to see through me.

• Do you have a stylist? What’s ‘style’ for you?
What is a stylist? Style for me is walking into a room, getting noticed for a couple of minutes and being left to myself to enjoy whatever the hell I am wearing.

• What is your favourite shopping destination?
Shopping is like a quickie for me. I want it coz I want it, but hurry up please. There is always time later to stand and stare at the wares!

• Who do you admire from a fashion standpoint?
Eve from the Garden of Eden. She changed the way the world looked at apples and serpents.

• Who are your favourite designers?
My old darzi who did exactly what I told him to and my mother who taught me how a small change in neckline and sleeve can transform an ordinary outfit.

• Have you made any fashion faux pas?
Since I do not believe in a standard fashion, not following it is itself a faux pas. But yes, I have absent-mindedly worn clothes with a laundry tag trailing on the kurta. ‘Dry cleaned’ can become a fashion statement, na?

• What bag are you carrying just now?
I love bags, big floppy ones in which I put the whole world and not find anything, so I can keep digging my hands in and manage to look very important…as in, “Hey, give me a minute, let me fish out something for you.”

• How do you stay in shape?
Depends on what shape we are talking about…

• Describe your skincare routine.
Lots of skin, no routine.

• How do you feel about growing old?
There are better things to feel.

• What wakes you up at night?
My bladder.

• What are your views on plastic surgery?
I get my dose of comforting pain, so I don’t need anything yet. And have a healthy body perception, so no ‘sweating’ over it. The only plastic I have on me is money.

• What was the last ‘green’ (eco-friendly) thing you did?
Chewed a blade of grass and called myself a cow.

• What’s your best beauty/health tip?
Throw a bucket of chilled water on the head of anyone who tells you to drink 8 to 10 glasses of water a day. The sheer thrill of watching the bucket fill up, of hauling it up and tilting it over a head is soothing, works the muscles and gives immense pleasure, making you glow.

• You’re on a deserted island with the option of only four products — what would you bring?

Islands have all that I need – sand and sea. Both are extremely sensual. You want four? Okay, so I will take a mirror and see their reflection. Together will come reflection of me, so along with mirror it becomes six products.