I have begun writing a letter. It is a love letter. I don’t care much for bottled fragrances, so I pressed a little ash from the incense sticks on the paper. I ran the pen over the grey powder. It was like chasing ants. I imagined an ant-hill forming. Then I would prod it and it would spread out…again words, ashes, ants…
I am using a loopy handwriting, like they do in calligraphy. A ballpoint pen is not great for it, but one tries. Big curls, dots like concentric circles.
The first sentence I wrote was, “I don’t know you, but I want to…” It sounded good, it felt good. What sounds good does not always feel good, you know.
I wanted to write about shining eyes and lips wet with tears, about aching and craving. Instead, I wrote next, “If I got to know you, would I really like you? Would you be the person I created? Are you like what I think you are?”
The letter is unfinished. I cannot go further. The recipient will have to wait.
I can wait. The letter is anyway addressed to me.
Megalomania or melancholia?
7 comments:
FV:
Megalomania or melancholia?
Neither. A psychopath ;)
FV,
Not sure if this is related and if you have already not written me off as philosophical junkie ...here is what i think ....we always chase dreams ...has some one ever thought why we like certain things in the first instance or we hate them in the first instance ....because we have sketches of all that we want in life inside us ...these sketches are not made in one day ...they are made by our eyes ..our readings ...our experiences and by the things we hear ...by kind of music we hear and the kind of poetry we read...these sketches are grey and the more we grow these sketches form colours and they become descriptive....example ...Yash Chopra's description of the lady love had a clear description, punjabi woman who adores white suits, gorgeous sarees, loves rain..long hair...and cries her heart out..and always had great handwriting :)....He obviously had his sketches right ....Mahesh Bhatt had his own sketches ....when we see someone close to our "sketches" ....sparkles are destined.........
Do people still write letters, the world of "instant" and "Disposable" has killed the charm of moist words....used after soaking them overnight in thoughts and dreams ....Thanks to SMS and emails ...
Are the love letters reincarnating ?
Manish
उलझी उलझी बातें जाना मत सोचो तो अच्छा है..... कौन कहाँ क्यों कब तक है यह रहने दो तो अच्छा है!
फूल बिछाओ या न बिछाओ कल के रस्ते में लेकिन, राहों में दो चार पत्थर चुन लो अच्छा है !
सड़कों पर बेदाग लहू के छीटें यह सम्झातें है, मन्दिर मस्जिद गिरिजा से अगर दूर रहो तो अच्छा है !
बोलने वाले दार पे चड़ते है या सर कट्वातें है लेकिन फिर भी मन कहता है चुप ना रहो तो अच्छा है !
तनहा भी हम काट तो लेंगे उमर सफर का रास्ता पर...जीवन बन कर जान मेरी तुम साथ चलो तो अच्छा है!
Farhat Shahzad for a Wacky Wednesday :)
PS:
Psychopath:
'Noun
a person afflicted with a personality disorder which causes him or her to commit antisocial and sometimes violent acts'
How does the post qualify? My lawyer will be getting in 'virtual' touch with you...
- - -
Manish:
Thank you for Shehzad...why is Wednesday wacky?
I don't have problems with philosophical junkies at all...
What you describe about sketches and sparks are also about the subconscious and sometimes repressed desires. I wonder what happens when someone is an amalgamation of both Yash Chopra's and Mahesh Bhatt's sketches :)
Re. writing letters, I start almost every piece of writing on paper. I don't even email/SMS much, but I do feel there is something very beguiling about good old-fashioned letters.
"Are the love letters reincarnating ?"
Do you mean as a genre? Or the one I was writing?
Rhetorical queries...
Hi...btw The shahzad gazals are on youtube ...just type Farhat Shahzad, there is live recital as well and some rare recordings, this is all "gracefully" stolen ...was all on my blog "Sochgaah" , I deleted it a few months back ....I guess i made some intellactually bankrupt people very happy ....
I can blog from work but cant use my ID...
On papers, I agree....i must feel what i write ...even today I buy a Diary everyear must to the displeasure of my laptop and "Blackberry"...I buy pens a lot but hate my handwriting now .....
I meant the "Genre" ...btw ...when was the last time you received a hand written letter in Mail (I mean post man mail )....I only get bills ...even greeting cards are so plastic ....
Will you finish the letter?
Manish:
I like greeting cards; you get them in handmade paper too, so no plastic;)
The last time I received a letter was a note to thank me...
Mask:
Yes...if I stay in love with myself!
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