19.4.09

Another blood

Someone tiptoed into my room
I could feel fingers run through my hair
A dry kiss on my eyelid
A hand circling my neck

Who is it? I stuttered

Your past

In the dark
I sensed how hardened it had become
Like a rock in an ocean

It had come to watch
As I lay there
On a white sheet
With drips feeding me
The voyeur lifted my gown
Touched my thighs, stomach, breasts
I was on test

Some parts hurt
The ones with waterproofing
Were immune to even tears
The past had not come to weep
It told me about what I was
And what I would be

Look at your eyes, it said

There are no mirrors here

Look at your eyes in mine

You are stone

Because of you

What is wrong with my eyes?

They are bright

Isn't that good?

You will melt in your own light

Pain will melt too

Only if you will let it through
You ached and pined for it
Now you are here

I have no fear
Go away

I will only stay
Until the blood has entered you completely

Nothing does
Some drops will remain
For memories to stray

Iced tea was brought on a tray
It had been like that for days
Swallowing liquids that had no taste
And left no trace

On the third night
They gave a toast with a sliver of butter
It looked like beads of sweat on rough baked flesh
I took a bite ferociously
An animal tearing into its prey
Crumbs stuck to my chin

The past brushed them away
As though they were sin

Today I bled a little
My own blood covered the scars
Stars
On sky skin

I will not congeal

~FV

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