21.4.09

Everybody loves a good Muslim

You switch channels, you turn newspaper pages, and there is the M word staring at you. To be honest, at this time of the year Muslims seem like termites coming out of the woodwork.

There is the Muslim symbol, the Muslim story of patriotism, the Muslim who lived to tell the story (ouch), the Muslim on the couch, in the closet...oh, unlimited variety.

Just when I was going to yawn, I discovered that the Battle for the Mussalman has taken on a serious tone. Prime Minister Manmohan Singh has said that poor Muslims have priority over the country's resources. The saffron spoilers have complained to the Election Commission that such statements go against its model code of conduct.

I don't know what the PM meant. Poor Muslims could mean "oh those poor bechara Muslims" and then we could have iftaar parties all year round. What does priority mean? Do people wait in some queue for the nation's resources, and Muslims will be allowed to break the line? And what are these resources? Power, water, fuel? How do you make sure poor Muslims get more of these and first?

Very confusing.

Mulayam Singh is doing his bit. First he has to make Kalyan Singh, former BJP guy of Babri fame, look like a nice guy who has turned over a new leaf. Then he makes Sanjay Dutt do some dialogue baazi where the actor says he was arrested under TADA and tortured because his mother was a Muslim. Fool. Many people have been arrested for being Muslim, so what's the big deal?

Mayawati thinks all Muslims are like Dalits so she has no choice but to make them her major electoral lust factor.

Laloo Prasad Yadav thinks they are like the cattle in his tabela who he personally gives chaara to.

The Left does not have to try too hard because it is assumed that they are pro Muslim because they are anti Hindutva.

Even the saffron waalas want to be nice to the Muslims. Their strategy is simple: we have nothing against the good Muslims.

Good Muslims are people they don't get to see or hear. Or who sing Vande Mataram and say Jai Ho. And who cannot see Pakistan on the world map. Essentially, good Muslims according to them are intelligent idiots.

Now, like folks from other communities, there will be Muslims who wear their salwaar or pyjamas upto a certain length that reaches their ankles, they may grow their beard a particular length (yup, big on length, I guess), they may wear burqas or hijaab, they may dab 'Jannat e Firdous' ittar behind their ears, they may remember their god five times a day after being reminded on a loudspeaker, they may do the annual slaughter, they may beat their Shia breasts during Muharram, they may display some calligraphic plaque in their homes, they may wear parrot green and candyfloss pink clothes. So what?

Not many will ever demand priority over the nation's resources. So just chill. Yeah, the Rooh Afza. That too.

Everybody loves a good Muslim?

Yawn.

6 comments:

  1. FV,
    Typical to your style, you pick up topics which stirs the mental standstill....I believe, religion when generalised becomes a crime, If me and Pravin Togadia were born in the same religion , does that mean most of the preferences would be same. Saeed Jaffery and Mullah Omar may sound similar names but very diverse individuals..they are like chalk and cheese. Same applies to Muslims, most of them at least in IT industry are hard to distinguish unless you read the name ....you would know ...Point is Generalisation is SIN and Criminal.
    The other tangent to the issue is that we dont want this generalisation to go away, we expect muslims to study in Jamia Millia and not Jesus and Mary College...have Iftaar parties and not Baby showers .......The typercast thing has to be eradicated if wish to evolve securalism.
    Btw, a Lot of Anons who comment here , also are taken aback when they cant relate your name to your thoughts ,...I see that ...May be you too...some do it just to discourage you....you agree ???

    Keep Blogging :)

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  2. Manish:

    If Saeed Jaffrey continues to do his over-the-top acting, you won;t be able to tell the difference between him and Mullah Omar!

    I think if Muslims prefer iftaar to baby showers, it is fine...at least they won;t be accused of reproducing...

    Re. the anons, in some cases, you are right. But there are times when the motives are different...

    This is only a blog. Imagine what if I had floated a political party?

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  3. You would have been called Mohtarma Farzana and would have the largest collection of designer duppatas...and 84 properties ...and would be the seen every Sunday at 9 PM on the big Fight ...:)

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  4. What kind of people always whine and crib about everyone and everything else?

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  5. "What kind of people always whine and crib about everyone and everything else?"

    Muslims,of course!!

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  6. Manish:

    :-)Am called mohtarma, bibi, sahiba anyway....don't know about the largest collection of designer dupattas but mine are quite nice...84 properties? I counted the tiles in my room and think I'd manage that too - after all real estate is sold per sq ft...Now every Sunday, day of Jewish sabbath, might be considered a conspiracy. Why can't they have the Big Fight jumma to jumma?!

    Anon, Prasanna;

    What kind of people spend an enormous amount of time watching others do that?

    ReplyDelete

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