5.10.11

Wayward thoughts: Coconut moon


I am writing this without thinking...I am thinking, but it is a thoughtless thought. Thoughtless thoughts are not careless or even unthinking. They are thoughts without a goal, or even the knowledge that they are thoughts. They come and go, like the breeze. You feel it, but cannot see it. Is feeling superior to seeing? Then why do we need the iteration of thought?

Love, anger, sorrow, pleasure - are they accepted and understood unless expressed? Oh, tell me please, we beg. Dogs and bitches, paws outstretched, puppy eyes seeking that thread that will connect bone to hand.

Try capturing a little air in a box. The fear of not opening it because of imminent loss is worse than not having that air. Even so, when you open the box, you won't notice that the wind has escaped. What you had captured was not the air, but the thought of it.

I am watching my hands. Today I find them ugly, the nail varnish chipped. Superficially it is about vanity. It is not. I am using the chipped varnish to hit out at something within me...something chipped. The hands are the same, rather tiny. Unless you are really close to me, you will not notice the varnish. It just shimmers like moonlight.

Have you ever eaten coconut shorbet? I just did. It does not look or taste like moonlight. I would not know what moonlight tastes like. I can imagine it would not be anything like coconut shorbet. This thing is not coconuty enough or shorbet enough. It tastes like sweet chalk. I think of my tongue as a slate on which I can write the story of the palm tree. The ancestry of the coconut would be interesting.

Have you realised that although I did not like the shorbet I have thought a lot about it. Are these thoughtless thoughts? Or is the moon a coconut or the coconut a moon?

I'll think about it...

6 comments:

  1. FV
    Regardless of thoughtful or thoughtless thoughts are thoughts which make us more creative and brilliant like you create this blog with your brilliance.

    Now, it might be for some our thoughts could be weighed as thoughtless and yet for others could be measured as thoughtful. All is perception and illusion upon which our lives run and keep on running like racing thoughts, if they create something then we are tagged as GENIUS,but, if they don't, we are tagged as mentally sick.

    circle.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Farzana,
    Maybe this helps as a solace (not that you are necessarily looking for one)....

    "chakravyuh me ghusane se pahale
    mai kaun thaa aur kaisaa thaa
    ye mujhe yaad hi na rahegaa
    chakravyuh me ghusane ke baad
    mere aur chakravyuh ke bich
    sirf ek jaan-levaa nikatataa thi
    isakaa mujhe pataa hi na chalegaa

    chakravyuh se baahar nikalane par
    mai mukt ho jaa_un bhale hi
    phir bhi
    chakravyuh ki rachanaa me farq hi na padegaa"

    (Part of Dilip Chitre's poetic composition from ArdhaSatya).

    Cheers,
    Mahesh.
    p.s.: At times it helps letting go of our own self and recognising that we , as a species, are indeed born losers.
    p.p.s.: Have a Nice Weekend.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Circle:

    I hope there is scope for something between genius and 'mentally sick', although many who were deemed to be the latter were also geniuses. Hope springs eternal...

    And, yes of course, thoughts can be perceived differently by others, but only if you share them. Sometimes we prefer to wallow in their silence. And that too is illusory.

    F&F:

    Intriguing that you found it intriguing...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Mahesh:

    Thanks for sharing this...

    Hum khud chakravyuha hai aur uske darmiyan ghoomne se pataa chal jaata hai ke jahaan se shuroo hue wahaan hi pohunch gaye...

    We all need solace...and solitude. Strange that both cannot co-exist.

    PS: The knowledge is being losers is winning.

    PPS: I would like to say that your presence here was sorely missed. Hope it is pleasant diversions that kept you away...perhaps reading Taslima Nasreen :) {if you don't know what I am saying you have no idea what you've missed}. Also a bit surprised to see you post on this rather than any of the others...these are rhetorical thoughts and i understand this is an open public forum so...

    You have a fun weekend, too.

    ReplyDelete
  5. FV
    Brilliant!
    Yes, there is also a grey zone between mentally sick and genius. But, racing thoughts mostly occur to either geniuses to create something or racing thoughts could be the reason to be labelled as mentally sick.

    Racing thoughts won't occur to those who fall in the scale of in between scale of two extremes. It is the racing thoughts tag which make us either genius or crazy.

    Rest is good.

    circle

    ReplyDelete

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