tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16761020.post2933771046905548292..comments2023-10-20T21:52:36.752+05:30Comments on Cross Connections: Murdering a suicide:
Jiah, Depression and MisogynyFarzana Verseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06891229615361937135noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16761020.post-78538220328975001572013-06-19T20:15:31.164+05:302013-06-19T20:15:31.164+05:30Sasu:
From afar, conditioning and background only...Sasu:<br /><br />From afar, conditioning and background only work as perspective. It can be the one expressed here, or by the myriad others, including of those involved and those that may never be heard - that of Jiah. <br /><br />Anon 1:<br /><br />True. It is about understanding the deeper causes. Why do people fall off the edge? There can be as many external factors as internal. FVnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16761020.post-43135857347106372372013-06-19T19:55:28.069+05:302013-06-19T19:55:28.069+05:30Anon 2:
I can sense a deep empathy in your commen...Anon 2:<br /><br />I can sense a deep empathy in your comment, and can imagine how losing a loved one means to an illness like depression that few even recognise and fewer still think needs to be treated. <br /><br />I particularly liked your last line where you hoped Suraj would become a more sensitive man. This is precisely how we should look at it. <br /><br />For me, it was a mother's cry. I find it strange that while quite a few people are rushing to say that the letter found in her house was forged (wrong to call it a 'suicide note' - I did mention that it does not matter when it was written), they are accepting those found at his house as genuine. <br /><br />The idea of my post was not to get too legalistic, because I am ill-equipped to deal with these issues. It reminds me of the Paris Jackson case that followed soon after. Her suicide attempt has been termed a "cry for help", and she did manage to get it in real time and terms. Wish we had such avenues here. <br /><br />PS: Regarding the comment about religion, it seems par for the course in a divisive society. And in this space, it seems absolutely essential to aver to mine irrespective of the subject. <br /><br />FVnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16761020.post-21003107404885266802013-06-18T11:00:41.974+05:302013-06-18T11:00:41.974+05:30The post has raised lots of probables including qu...The post has raised lots of probables including quite a few by FV herself . Apparently the direction of convictions propounded by each is born out of their own conditioning and orientation , again including that of the author . So what really happened ? God only knows , maybe not even the persona dramatis considering the power games each of us plays to gain advantage .<br />Regarding the position of Suraj P in the soup , if his confessions have been properly recorded he should soon be stewing for 2-7 years in the cooler under provisions of the Domestic Violence Act sasuhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01836412140360911348noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16761020.post-87274738492635680222013-06-16T13:23:40.135+05:302013-06-16T13:23:40.135+05:30I agree with you that the possibility of abuse nee...I agree with you that the possibility of abuse needs to be investigated as being the cause for Jiah committing suicide, but the chances of a conviction are very slim (seen even recently in the Naveen Nischol case where he walked away free despite his estranged wife leaving behind a suicide note specifically naming him). Judicial precedent in this regard is very clear: The Supreme Court has held that unless there is clear mens rea by one party to cause the other party to commit suicide (deliberate causation)- such person cannot be held guilty to have caused suicide. So unless Suraj can be convicted that he abused her etc with an intent to abet suicide, he will be let off. He can be guilty of being abusive, callous, not being caring - but Jiah should have pressed charged under Domestic Violence Act (which protects women who are not married as well). In this case, there is a lot of information that has come from Rabia Khan that points fingers towards Suraj's abuse - but the aspect of her not doing well in her career leading to suicide also deserves investigation. Further, the stress in her suicide note on her buying Suraj gifts and material benefits and him not reciprocating equally is symptomatic of perhaps a deeper malaise. <br /><br />I would like to condemn an earlier comment bringing in the deceased and author's faith in focus. Does he know that Rabia's second husband is a Hindu and her other two daughters Karishma and Kavita have been raised Hindus or that Suraj's mother is Zarina Wahab, a Telugu Muslim. How does religion feature in this present tragic case? And what has the author written that betrays a bias against Suraj (half-Muslim himself)? <br /><br />Having lost my own cousin at the young age of 18, I can understand the pain of Jiah's family. I hope they find closure soon. And hope Suraj (who in all probability will be let off) goes on to become a more sensitive man. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16761020.post-29310726740138144492013-06-15T22:25:38.101+05:302013-06-15T22:25:38.101+05:30No man (or woman) is worth throwing one’s own life...No man (or woman) is worth throwing one’s own life away – people are never as perfect as one imagines them to be nor are people as imperfect in reality as they might imagine themselves to be. I only saw this actress in a couple of movies (in one of which her role was rather prominent) and am very sorry at her death – she obviously had a lot of potential and probably would have had a stellar track record in the long run. People really, really need to take depression and associated conditions more seriously. <br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16761020.post-36505863863049696652013-06-15T17:47:08.496+05:302013-06-15T17:47:08.496+05:30FV
I just read comment by anonymus above and your...FV<br /><br />I just read comment by anonymus above and your reply thereto. I think I have class! :)Free and Footloosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16911514463551198170noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16761020.post-41233025912619759622013-06-15T08:40:44.387+05:302013-06-15T08:40:44.387+05:30DK:
I do not know what motivated him, but I gave ...DK:<br /><br />I do not know what motivated him, but I gave my reason in the few paras before responding to him. I've also stated that this is the way some others think, too.<br /><br />If you read what I have to say, you will realise that constitutes my opinion. In one of my comments, I've posted links to 2 earlier posts on related subjects. They too were responses to news stories, much as this individual's piece was responding to Jiah Khan's note. And my views would be the same had that piece been written by a woman. I did not say 'Rejoinder' in my headline; in fact the title is exactly what the piece is about. <br /><br />I hope you read the bits about depression, abuse. These are important. <br /><br />I only write what I believe in. You wrote this comment because it was your belief, right? But it was in response to mine. Belief in anything does not exist in a vacuum. <br /><br />If what I say on an issue gets attention for that issue, then I am very happy. As for thriving on attention, I get much more when I write about Modi, Mallika Sherawat, Baba Ramdev, and also for my random thoughts. Why, occasionally just for posting songs. I should imagine some people figure out my beliefs. (I do not know what anyone else thrives on, so shall refrain from conjecture.)<br /><br />Perhaps one day you'd like to take a quick look around at my work, or just stop by at the tags below the masthead and find out? <br /><br />PS: This comment is also for the others asking/wondering/abusing. <br />FVnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16761020.post-62000927363505468352013-06-15T02:08:41.954+05:302013-06-15T02:08:41.954+05:30FV
I am a little confused about this piece of wor...FV<br /><br />I am a little confused about this piece of work. First I didn't understand what purpose did Mr. Murhty had to write that note on Jiah Khan.<br /><br />Secondly, I didn't understand why after his note people like you, are just writing about his note and not Jiah.. The debate isn't on what was right or wrong.. Debate is how can he, unfortunately he's a male commenting on a female's suicide, write something like this. I am sure if Mrs. Murthy would have written this then it would have been acceptable to lot more people.<br /><br />How are people concerned about what mahesh murthy writes or opines, he doesn't make law, he doesn't have following that will shift belief and behaviour of this nation... And at the end of the day... It doesn't make a difference to anyone on what his personal opinion about any matter is..<br /><br />So simple question, why give him what he seeks ? You write more about the post and he'll tweet it, post it on facebeek... He thrives on that...<br /><br />Write what you believe in, don't write on what he wrote unless you also thrive on the same thing.. Attention !<br />DKnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16761020.post-89588575174439277282013-06-15T01:41:09.239+05:302013-06-15T01:41:09.239+05:30Of all the things, religion of the writer. It says...Of all the things, religion of the writer. It says a lot about *you* that you notice such things. But, perhaps you forgot that the boy's mother is of the same faith. Anyway, you have to deal with these issues yourself. <br /><br />Re. Parveen Babi, please educate yourself on subjects like schizophrenia. She and Mahesh Bhatt broke up several years ago, she was in rehab, and she died due to various ailments and organ failure. <br /><br />---<br /><br />And to the others who want to be holier-than-thou, please go ahead. I am not answerable to anyone just as I've made no one answerable to me, FVnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16761020.post-62054205396636550162013-06-15T00:28:04.422+05:302013-06-15T00:28:04.422+05:30Obviously Jiah Khan's religion and the author&...Obviously Jiah Khan's religion and the author's religion being common has had no impact on the writer penning these words.<br /><br />BTW if Suraj Pancholi is behind bars, shouldn't Mahesh Bhatt too be behind bars for leaving Parveen babi which ultimetely led to her suicide?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16761020.post-53050105012909845462013-06-14T19:57:30.340+05:302013-06-14T19:57:30.340+05:30Many of you would be aware of the Gopal Kanda case...Many of you would be aware of the Gopal Kanda case, where he, a minister, was arrested for abetting the suicide of one of his employees he was in a relationship with. She left a note. <br /><br />Here was my post on it:<br /><br />http://farzana-versey.blogspot.in/2013/05/sex-can-be.html<br /><br />A unrelated to this subject post on the SC initiative on the dying declaration: <br /><br />http://farzana-versey.blogspot.in/2013/05/the-last-accusation.html<br /><br />FVnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16761020.post-28833830638607182872013-06-14T19:50:02.440+05:302013-06-14T19:50:02.440+05:30Megha:
I tried...in fact, for one who has worked ...Megha:<br /><br />I tried...in fact, for one who has worked with women from different strata at various times in my career, I've been exposed to more than what the media portrays and know how it works, too. <br /><br />I agree that openness is important, but unless it has substance or there is a counterpoint to it there is a possibility of the subject remaining at the superficial level. <br /><br />I have been accused of misandry, which only shows how black&white the ways of seeing are. <br /><br />Thank you. <br />FVnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16761020.post-76701121288980195572013-06-14T19:43:40.748+05:302013-06-14T19:43:40.748+05:30F&F:
I made it clear why I came in, although ...F&F:<br /><br />I made it clear why I came in, although I don't have to. I have always written about what is broadly called pop culture and the only reason in cases such as these is sensitivity. I have not responded to the paparazzi. Had you cared to look beyond that at the subject, it might have helped. <br /><br />---<br /><br />Al:<br /><br />I did not know MM was an ad exec, I've been pulled up for calling him an intellectual. Even after reading his note the first time, I was unsure. It was when Suraj confessed to beating her that I realised that there are many cases which probably don't see the light of day. <br /><br />We still have people get legalistic and don't seem to understand that not every case is the same. <br /><br /><br /><br />FVnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16761020.post-57300662854005536342013-06-14T12:45:36.977+05:302013-06-14T12:45:36.977+05:30Its not hard to comprehend why a debating nation w...Its not hard to comprehend why a debating nation would simply not sit back and watch any minor/major proceedings that come to their attention through the media. The catch is how tolerant we are in expressing opinions. Some of us may be an authority or enthusiast of say North East India issues and resourcefully feed the thought process, if not policy making, in those areas. Ppl however shudnt fail to recognize the need for openness and fairness when contemplating on issues which I unfortunately didn't find in MM's posts. The author of this blog has made an effective attempt to draw out this virtue of rational thinking which I deeply respect. Meghanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16761020.post-45510663051861256042013-06-14T04:15:22.471+05:302013-06-14T04:15:22.471+05:30FV, I don't follow bollywood much but if I re...FV, I don't follow bollywood much but if I remember right Pancholi Sr. being the same sort of abusive sphincter when he was younger, so maybe this runs in the family. I feel sad that she chose to take a her own life, but she must have been hurting very bad to do so...and maybe she did not ask for help from people who loved her for whatever reason. But I am not surprised that an ad exec like MM gets all uppity (for publicity's sake) and judgmental about some person he never knew. it is really easy to be judgemental about someone you never knew and never will, as these "Sherlock Holmes" cum "Karl Jung"s on the net demonstrate when they talk about her reckless and wanton personality and what not -- as if it is any of their goddamn business. How about these geniuses give some respect for Ms. Khan at least now that she is no more rather than flap their lip about her personality and whatnot? Too much to ask maybe?<br /><br />-AlAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16761020.post-20355803982539717582013-06-13T22:31:00.701+05:302013-06-13T22:31:00.701+05:30FV
1. Jiah Khan was a public personality and a gl...FV<br /><br />1. Jiah Khan was a public personality and a glamorous one at that. Reckless, intense speculation about her tragic end was a given. Come to think of it, it can be argued that you are perpetuating the melee by writing a passionate critique of what paparazzi wrote post her death. This is not to say that nothing should be written about it. But surely, pompous, heartless idiots are best ignored. No?<br /><br />2. Given a choice, I would have liked to leave her family alone in their hour of grief. But if they choose to invite media and throw the house open, so to speak, what meaning does my compassion have?Free and Footloosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16911514463551198170noreply@blogger.com