Paris Hilton, Hugh Grant, Posh Spice and the celeb machine

The lady – and I use this term loosely here – has just confessed that she isn’t all that smart. “Like I really ... I don't remember. I'm not like that smart. I like forget stuff all the time.” Wish she had forgotten, like, she was not a sophomore anymore.

Smart she may not be, but she is a shrewd cookie. As a huge fan of trivia, but not trivialisation, I like to keep track of these ‘events’. So, we must not forget that the first time she was noticed was because of some steamy video she had shot of herself with her lover at the time. This made the rounds of the Net and suddenly she was going around with her Chihuahua tapping on her bosom to signify a fashion statement. What we do not realise is that those who get excited by others’ thrills would get off even if they watched a raunchy video of Attila the Hun.

The least Paris Hilton can do to legitimise the publicity she gets is behave like a star. While I think it is cool to hire an agent just to make you famous for being famous, as she has done, I really wish she’d display some class.

Instead of looking and acting like the heiress she is, she goes around like a tarted-up tramp on social security. It is disgusting to read reports about her being thrown out of a New York nightclub, of her weeping in the street, of her gate-crashing parties, of her not being wanted at some real tony gatherings…

Does she not feel humiliated? And why the need? She has got loads of wealth, she can afford the very best, yet she chooses to make a mess of herself and all that celebrity ought to stand for.

Then there is Hugh Grant. I saw pictures of him at some posh do with Jemima. He looked bored and a goner. Too much has been made of his foppish charm. He really is a caricature of the essential British gentleman and not the real thing.

A while ago one had read about that absolutely sickening act by his ex-girlfriend Elizabeth Hurley at a party – a sit-down dinner at that – where in full public view she had taken his hand and began sucking his finger which led to Jemima walking out in a huff.

It is strange that such behaviour is acceptable and the people continue to be lionised. This is gauche, crude and so very unbecoming.

In this respect I’d give Victoria Beckham some points. She really upped her regal quotient when she dumped the Posh Spice tag to become a fairytale princess of David, prince of the football field. If you see her in her low-slung jeans you might be put off bones forever, but she has managed to elevate her status. A status she does not deserve, but, heck, it works…