News meeows - 1

Reality is infinitely more bizarre than what I see through my window and imagine most days.

Keith Richards has confessed to snorting his father’s ashes with some cocaine, and it wasn’t all that bad, and he says he is still alive. Weird. If people can live after relishing the flesh of animals and birds and cannibals after eating humans, then why would anyone die snorting ashen remains?

I suppose each to their own queer habits, and heaven knows we all have them. The only thing I am curious about is whether he wanted a part of his father to merge with him or he just wished to get a kick more kick-ass than the one he usually did?
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Shekhar Kapur’s ex-wife, Suchitra Krishnamurthy, has blamed Preity Zinta for the break-up. So, what’s new? This Suchitra has said a few weeks ago how after her divorce even people like Alyque Padamsee, the famous and irritating ad ‘guru’, asked her if men hit on her more now. She said she was shocked. Well, a couple of days later she was sharing panel space with the same man and made no bloody mention of it when this was the subject of discussion.

And why has Preity asked Shekhar to “clear her name”, whatever that means? If he had any sense of responsibility he ought to have done so on his own. But most men are wimps. And for me wimps are those who think they are macho. Imagine the Kapur getting a huge one just with the thought that he was being paired with Preity. It is very common for married men to hallucinate, if mere fantasies don’t satisfy them. As for Suchitra, she had used her husband’s website to write a poem hitting out at an actress for breaking her home; she could not even find her own space to do it…I like what a friend of Preity said: “Surely there’re more discreet ways for an angry wife to be noticed?”

Heck, no. The worst part is, the guy wins either way. If he keeps quiet, then he is this hot and happening dude; and if he comes to rescue Preity, then he becomes the knight. What a charmed life these idiots live.
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Greg Chappell quits. Good. We don’t need foreign coaches; if we must lose it is better to lose on merit as full-blooded Indians!

Anil Kumble quits one-dayers. Boy, what a noise they make of it. The first time I saw the news on telly, it announced, “Kumble says goodbye” and everyone in the studio looked like they were attending a funeral. For a moment I paused. I was hoping it wasn’t a real tragedy. I like Kumble; I mean, I like his voice.

Now the fellow has decided not to do those 50-overs thingies and he has got some 800 odd wickets and they call him a legend. If only some of us had the good sense to choose our profession right. We’d have been legends long ago.
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Shahrukh Khan is finally at Madame Tussaud’s Museum. This summer when Indians descend in London or, more appropriately, Oxford Street they will find time to go and visit the wax-work. I only hope they have done a good job. Amitabh Bachchan and Aishwariya Rai look horrible with pasty faces and stupid expressions. They tried to make the Bachchan resemble a kind of maharajah wearing an embroidered sherwani; he ends up looking like someone caught off-guard at a fashion show for the aged.

And Ms. Rai has been captured in a completely funny typical Hindi song-dance posture, and ends up very mannequin-like. But, then, sometimes reality is just as static…