Showing posts with label regressive. Show all posts
Showing posts with label regressive. Show all posts

4.12.13

Khaps and Taliban — Sometimes Misunderstood?




The idea that the khap panchayats want to get an image makeover is not new. They tried it earlier. So, will it be any different when they launch their website on December 14?

Whether we like it or not, khaps play an important role in villages, especially since the ministers are too busy in circuit houses, if they ever show up. Often, the regressive attitudes expressed and, worse, action taken against women, including honour killings, are not exclusive to panchayat members, but part of the conditioning and attitude.

Sunil Jaglan of Jind's Nogama khap has been quoted as saying:

"We feel positive work done by khaps is not highlighted by the media. Khaps resolve disputes related to property and matrimonial affairs but these do not get prominence anywhere.''


This could well be true, and given that there is more and more a need to delegate, khaps can play an important role. Perhaps a policy of reward, by way of recognition for their good work, might help them to understand why there is a negative perception based on their diktats and how detrimental it is to the society they claim to represent.

It is obvious that they are essentially trying to woo the media and the outside public, and such a website might not even be accessible to the villagers. However, the fact that they are in the open would be a check on their activities. In fact, it might help if they also dealt with issues not restricted to their domain. It would then reveal how the big bad city denizens behave, too.

The flipside of such 'reaching out' could be self-censorship of news and views, and if the media depends solely on their version the truth might never be out. Or, it might be reported as sensational items, like the Deoband fatwas that nobody except the mullahs sitting in there care about.

If the khap initiative does turn out to be an exercise in such value judgments, then it would end up telling the rest of the country who is boss.

For now, the benefit of doubt is due.

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Another case of an organisation that will never get good press is the Taliban. There was a news item about how the Talibs told Pakistanis that howsoever great cricketer Sachin Tendulkar is they should not praise him, but instead praise their own Misbah-ul-Haq, even if he is a bad player. Headlines like “Stop praising Indian Cricketer Sachin Tendulkar, Taliban warn Pakistani media" made it to all major international and national newspapers, with the usual moral authority that comes with being on the side of the good guys.

Turned out that the intelligensia got it all it so wrong that the Taliban statement came across as superbly nuanced!

The media took one para out of context and missed out on the analogy, exemplified in this last bit:

"This logic certainly opposes reality, just like the example of cricketers I just gave, everyone knows how much it is opposite of reality to not admire the greatest cricketer [Tendulkar]."


Of course, there will be many who would ask: "But haven't the Taliban done so many vile things? They are capable of saying this."

Yes. But there is no ethical reason for those who are 'superior' to mislead. This is not just about what the Taliban says, but how it is perceived in a generally antagonistic Indo-Pak context.

I was particularly struck by the photograph I have used here. It seems to suggest that Sachin is under threat from the Taliban.

It is a little amusing, though, that these guys want to clarify their stand on a cricketer. But, I do sigh in relief that no one has used the done-to-death headline saying that the Taliban bats for Sachin.

It was a 'no ball'.

© Farzana Versey

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Cartoon: The Hindu
Image: Express Newsline

17.5.12

Great things about being a virgin man



Women are often concerned about losing their virginity. It is partly psychological and often due to what society expects, especially in the Indian context. That is the reason you will see desperate queries addressed to sexologists about how to hide the hymen rupture from the husbands, if he isn’t the one a woman has had sex with.

The sexpert tells her that there is something called trust, and she can lose her precious tissue while exercising, swimming, horse riding or spending quality time with a cucumber.

A rather regressive article that advises women to preserve their virginity has appeared in the Times of India. I believe that if virginity is so important, then men should be equally concerned about preserving the 'site'. So, here’s my rejoinder to a few points.

(Disclaimer: I do not adhere to the views in the piece or what I say. It is purely seeing the flip side)

There is nothing worrisome about your virgin status. Instead you should feel proud of it. It's not a big deal for it can be lost anytime. We know sex feels great, but just remember that there are many advantages of being a virgin. It is one of the most special gifts god has given you.

God did not gift virginity. A foetus was formed in the womb, and sometimes there are breakages of different parts. As regards feeling proud, why should men be denied such pride? And there are some goodies in store if you keep yourself to yourself.

So, for all virgin women out there, here is a list of few great things about being one.

No pregnancy fears: Out of the many advantages, this one is the most obvious. Many women who have regular sex always worry about getting pregnant. So if you are a virgin you need not worry about this, and also no headache of popping those birth control pills.

Men don’t have to worry about getting a woman pregnant and being subjected to baby pictures, right from Lord Krishna with butter smeared on his mouth to Justin Bieber trying to sing.

No STDs: It's always safe to be a virgin in this society where STDs like HIV/AIDS, herpes, syphilis are so common. If you are not having sex that means you are much less likely to contract STDs.

Men should remain virgins because these diseases can afflict them too, and do so more often. Besides, if they stay away from intercourse, they can even spend less time tapping the keyboard, and save themselves from strain on the back and eyes.

No emotional trauma of a relationship: Sometimes there is nothing left in a relationship after sex. Love is not all about sex so there are many things a couple can do without sex in a relationship. Remember, a sexual disappointment can make you feel hurt, lonely and angry.

True, and men need to hang on to their life because their seed is so crucial to the perpetuation of the species. They are more concerned about how well they do in bed. So, instead of getting many opinions beforehand, that might reduce self-esteem or result in raised expectations, they can just wait for the right time.

Your man will feel so proud and happy: It's a fact; most men still prefer a virgin woman. No guys want to think about his girl having sex with other guys. Even though virgin women are not sexually experienced, men still love them and feel more sexually excited. He will respect your innocence, and also there won't be any arguments on your past relationships.

Women find fumbling men cute. Haven’t you heard that all that brawn stuff just does not turn them on as much as a guy who is vulnerable? She will respect that and there will be no nagging about who you were with in the Palaeolithic Age. You can also spare the moment when by mistake you utter the names of Cleopatra, Nefertiti or Mrs Chaddha, or uncharacteristically say “Darrling” instead of “Honey”. Women can catch these linguistic derailments.

You are pure as an angel: Virgins are probably one of the sanest people on earth. Most virgin women have morals and respect themselves. Also they take relationship and marriage very seriously.

Virgin men are like Adam, the first man. A woman, therefore, feels like she is in heaven. Virgin men are sane because their other ‘brain’ has not been used as yet. When both brains come together, men understand respect and as they begin to value the relationship between their extremes they also value their partners.

So now, save your virginity. Don't give it away on a platter.

Yes, men. Treat it like a crusade. Save the endangered species. Wrap up the dildo.