The rotten state of IITs

This news comes from the director of IIT Guwahati. Well, not quite rotten, but if you are not literal you will get the gist of the apparition, not to speak of the continuum of illusion. For all the so-called brilliance of those entering the institute, we have a thriving coaching class business that makes them ‘ready’. In a candid disclosure, Gautam Barua says:

On entering the IITs after undergoing excessive coaching, the students are almost burnt-out and mentally fatigued. Then the IITs for them become a place to relax. Coaching is the primary reason that affects the performance of students. A mindset has been created that if they (students) do not opt for coaching, they may not have the chance to get admission to the IITs.

And do these students wish to go to into engineering at all? Remember the film 3 Idiots where the maverick protagonist calls the fiancé of the woman who he will fall in love with a “gadha” (donkey) because, after all the admission to the prime institute, he ended up in a swivel chair? For him everything had a price tag. Mr. Barua’s views express similar sentiments:

IIT has a brand value. Parents and students want to enter IIT without thinking what they will do. So after they graduate from the IITs, many of them don’t go for engineering jobs; they rather go for the finance sector, management or do jobs which have no connection with engineering. We have seen that about half of the students from IITs are really not interested in engineering.

The IITs are creating a brahmanical bubble of being the superior race and the chosen ones. The fact that some of them are grabbed for a few crore rupees’ salary makes news; the rest become certified purple-robed job seekers. Or, they just have that brand on them and think they can do anything and be certain that with the campus story to back them they are worth a good deal.

People who join medicine have to shell out capitation fees and are made to feel responsible about how that seat is so important. Do the IITs give that sense of accountability to the students? Obviously not. So, why are they such prized mice in the rat race in other fields? Ah, why is the lady carrying the Ferragamo bag with nothing else to show given a better welcome or the man who alights from a Mercedes offered a stiffer salaam? It is the tag.

We are living in times when this is all that seems to count.

In a rather tragic-comic comment, Mr. Barua states:

It is time for the government to create IIT-like institutions in the field of humanities. Let there be IIT-like institutions in economics, philosophy and other fields of humanities, with IIT-like campuses and branding. Then it will no longer be necessary for students to get admitted to IITs and later join non-engineering jobs.

I really do not think we need this sort of tagged legitimacy to move around like dogs with collars. Many universities in any case have ‘names’ and cater to some sort of elitism, whether monetary or intellectual, the latter an iffy word because the purity of such intellectualism is largely diminished if they make puppy eyes about being Stephanians or leave scruffy ideological paw marks about JNU. Where is the individualism?

There was a time when we worried about students being spoonfed. Now, with technology and the availability of information within seconds, the term has taken on different connotations. The IIT person is assumed to be prepared for anything. A bit strange that one who might have been a cordon bleu chef chooses to stand at the buffet table. The only difference is that someone is there to carry the plate.

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"Something is rotten in the state of Denmark" (From Hamlet. Marcellus to Horatio, after Hamlet follows his father's ghost)

Tea from Ivy League

 

I like tea. So, when I heard that a Harvard Business School graduate decided to get into the tea business, I thought we were in for a true son-of-the-soil story. Oh, I forgot. I am a cynic. I am not supposed to like all this. There has to be a niggling thought.

Right. It is a bit more than niggling. People enter these top institutes and then decide to give it all up. It is rarely simple. I have met a few who did quit cushy jobs because of conviction. Amuleek Singh Bijral tries his hand at modesty:

“There are thousands of chai wallas in this country and I’m just one of them. The beverage that I sell has a history of three and a half thousand years. I have a technology background and I sell tea. People think it’s exotic and unconventional... I don’t.”

One, he was addressing students from the Indian Institute of Management and other biggie schools on the subject of “unconventional entrepreneurs”.

Two, he is the owner of Mountain Trail Foods and his Amuleek Chai Points have ten outlets all over Bangalore.

Three, if it is not all that exotic, then why does he bring in history? Do those thousands of chaiwallas think like him?

Among his staff are IIT and IIM graduates. This is just another business enterprise. As expected, there is a tendency to believe they are better and will offer something more:

“Chai is a global phenomenon. Everywhere I go I see people cribbing about lack of good tea. I wanted to do a scalable business and one that had a big market. Chai provided both.”

Everything has to be a phenomenon. Chai is part of the imbibing habits of people across the world, just as performing morning ablutions is. It does not become a global phenomenon. Indian tea has always been in demand – whether it is Darjeeling, Assam, or the green tea from Kashmir.

The problem with the unconventional entrepreneurs is that profit-making is the sole imperative, whatever else they may say. It is fine for their benefit, but this is one more attempt – and I am not singling out this gentleman – to create a different demand. It works in tandem with the multinational ethos.

How does it alter the social consumer landscape? It could take away the business from smaller companies and most certainly from the small chaiwallas. It will not be much different from the Baristas. You make it into a corporate culture and automatically it is seen as organised, clean, efficient and of superior quality. Add to this, the man is from Harvard, so he will be better at reading tea leaves. Crystal ball gazing is big business, isn’t it?

Imagine, the locals saying, “Brake-fast at Tea-fanny”…

On a personal note, I like tea in so many different ways. There is the green tea that has to just have a touch of the fragrance; a little more and it is not green anymore.

For regular tea, I do a yoyo between the wimpy version where the flavour is left to the imagination and the several types that hit you. We call the first light tea. Who can forget Farooque Sheikh’s character in the delectable Sai Paranjpye film Katha twirling the keychain and saying that he only drinks light tea? It was an indication of being westernised.

Brewed tea can be brewed delicately, with tea leaves added to boiling water and left for a couple of minutes. Or it can be introduced at the beginning and go on and on to become ‘kadak’ (strong). Most Indians like it this way. There are some who will have tea only ‘cooked’ in milk - the famous doodh patti chai. One can add saffron to it.

I love my masala chai. I don’t care about the travesty of it. Tea without a touch of ginger and cardamom may be pure, but I like to sin.

I believe that too is a global phenomenon…

Don't IITs teach guys about women?

This is so Rehman Malik-like. Before we get to the IIT hotshot/novelist Chetan Bhagat's bizarre take on women, we must deal with Pakistan’s Interior Minister. Now what did he do?

He said in response to the recent killings in Karachi:

“According to my personal experience in Karachi, if, let’s say, it is said that 100 people have died in target killings, when I did the investigation, I found that there were only 30 target killings. 70% were those people who wanted to be rid of their wives and girlfriends or girlfriends who wanted to be rid of their boyfriends. All the figures are with me, they killed them.”

Mr. Malik was not referring to honour killings, for getting rid of wives, boyfriends and girlfriends is different. I do not know how he conducted these investigations if the cases did not come to the police. Target killings in Karachi are an old phenomenon and although the motives have changed now, it was not too long ago when Shia doctors were targeted. One important observation: women may want to get rid of boyfriends but not husbands, whereas husbands would want to get rid of wives, according to him. The old patriarchal legitimate bogey.


Now, we come to the IIT lad, Bhagat, who is worried about some Nielsen survey that says Indian women are the most stressed out in the world.

Here is the stuff he dished out in an op-ed today and my response:

"87% of our women feel stressed out most of the time. This statistic alone has caused me to stress out. Even in workaholic America, only 53% women feel stressed.

What are we doing to our women? I’m biased, but Indian women are the most beautiful in the world. As mothers, sisters, daughters, colleagues, wives and girlfriends – we love them. Can you imagine life without the ladies?

It would be a universe full of messy, aggressive and egomaniacal males running the world, trying to outdo each other for no particular reason. There would be body odour, socks on the floor and nothing in the fridge to eat. The entertainment industry would die. Who wants to watch movies without actresses?"

Ooh…you know something? We are stressed out not because of what you do to us, but because we have reasons of our own. We own our stress, okay? You do not do us, even as stress. And did they not teach you at the IIT hostel where to keep your socks and you ate at the canteen, did you not? Or rustled up an omelette? Don’t the tech/management guys discuss male chefs? As for body odour, do you get a sponge rub down to help or is the deo made in the kitchen? As for the actresses, they are there for more than entertainment, but if that’s the only way you see it, then go ahead. It is your way to de-stress.

"Kids would be neglected and turn into drug addicts or psychopaths by age 10. Soon, all-male world leaders would lose their tempers at the slightest provocation, and bomb the guts out of each other’s countries. In short, without women and their sanity, the world would perish."

Are you kidding? Where did you get that number 10 from? Do you round up every figure? You were talking about stress and you seem to suggest that women are becoming extinct. This is so childish. I mean, have you ever been to an orphanage or rehab centre even for some management summertime crap? There are poor people and they do not figure in any study on stress, neither do their mothers. They could have no parents.

It is not the job of women to tame men, shave and prettify them to be nice world leaders who don’t go bombing. Just for your information, India’s sex ratio is skewed and there are way fewer women, but India has not bombed any country, unless there was a war. What do you say to that? Go on, scratch your head. I am sure some woman will shampoo your hair despite all the stress.

"Yet, look at how we Indians, a land of spiritual people, treat them. At an extreme, we abort girls before they are born, neglect them in their upbringing, torture them, molest them, sell them, rape them and honour-kill them. Of course, these criminal acts are performed by a tiny minority."

Oh, you also read the newspaper headlines? Nice. Now, go to BKS Iyengar and learn a few yogasanas and decide how to talk about women’s stress after the spiritually uplifting experience.

"However, a majority of us are involved in lesser crimes. We judge, expect too much, don’t give space and suffocate our women’s individuality. Imagine if you did this to men – won’t they be stressed out?"

Imagine! Listening to Lennon or just watching ‘Desperate Housewives’?

"For now, i want to give Indian women five suggestions to reduce their stress levels. 

• One, don’t ever think you are without power. Give it back to that mother-in-law. Be who you are, not someone she wished you would be. She doesn’t like you? That’s her problem.
• Two, if you are doing a good job at work and your boss doesn’t value you – tell him that, or quit. Talented, hard-working people are much in demand.
• Three, educate yourself, learn skills, network – figure out ways to be economically independent. So next time your husband tells you that you are not a good enough wife, mother or daughter-in-law, you can tell him to take a hike.
• Four, do not ever feel stressed about having a dual responsibility of family and work. It is difficult, but not impossible. The trick is not to expect an A+ in every aspect of your life. You are not taking an exam, and you frankly can’t score cent per cent (unless you are in SRCC, of course). It is okay if you don’t make four dishes for lunch, one can fill their stomach with one. It is okay if you don’t work until midnight and don’t get a promotion. Nobody remembers their job designation on their dying day.
• Five, most important, don’t get competitive with other women. Someone will make a better scrapbook for her school project than you. Another will lose more weight with a better diet. Your neighbour may make a six-dabba tiffin for her husband, you don’t – big deal…There is no ideal woman in this world, and if you strive to become one, there will be only one thing you will achieve for certain – stress.

So breathe, chill, relax. Tell yourself you are beautiful, do your best and deserve a peaceful life. Anybody trying to take that away from you is making a mistake, not you. Your purpose of coming to this earth is not to please everyone. Your purpose is to offer what you have to the world, and have a good life in return. The next time this survey comes, i don’t want to see Indian women on top of the list. I want them to be the happiest women in the world. Now smile, before your mother-in-law shouts at you for wasting your time reading the newspaper."

You know what, Mr. Chetan Bhagat? Here is what you and all the stressed males should do:

1. Don’t be yourself. That stinks.
2. Forget talent, just sell your wares and take sanyas.
3. Don’t educate yourself – it will be rot.
4. Don’t worry about the dual responsibility of being a fool and craving a fool’s paradise. No one notices.
5. Get competitive with other men, or else you’ll never know there are better guys out there. And there are ideal women and men because the ideal lies in the eyes of the beholder, not a Deepak Chopra-clone studded with stereotypes.

So, breathe, chill, relax and go take a hike. And smile. Despite all the stress we bring upon ourselves because of work, talent, genuine concern, we still have the time to read piffle and chuckle over it.

Gosh, now back to worrying about those political leaders going on a bombing spree. Life is looking good. We are the world.

3 Idiots: IIT, IIM and the Minister

A distorted image of a scene from the Hindi film 3 Idiots

Since when have IITs and IIMs become shrines that everyone has to bow before them and whatever comes out of those hallowed corridors is to be considered some holy benediction?

Environment Minister Jairam Ramesh and the hurt alumni and faculty of the institutes are both narrow-minded. Here is what the minister had said:

“There is hardly any worthwhile research from our IITs. The faculty in the IIT is not world class. It is the students in IITs who are world class. So the IITs and IIMs are excellent because of the quality of students not because of quality of research or faculty.”

What exactly is world-class? Don’t we have our own standards to judge? There is some pretty wimpy stuff coming out of Ivy League universities. The IITs and IIMs depend on government funding, so Mr. Ramesh has just given them an opportunity to crib about how they are short of money and shackled by government interference.

It is no wonder that reports mention the kneejerk response that this one statement has received. Typically, they have pulled up the minister, asking him to hold forth on the quality of politicians. Pretty lame. For not only is the minister a product of such an institute, there are many others, and quite a few of them in fact confirm what he says – not about the faculty, but about the students. The hierarchy is in place and those who get in assume they are better than the rest.

And what is so great about those students? Many take the first opportunity to go overseas and then after they have made it return with a cheque to donate to their alma mater. Those who remain here end up doing staid academic jobs; the more enterprising ones consider research to mean rehashing the minutiae of what they did at the institutes in columns, books and films and these are lapped up because our ‘youth segment’ is now interested in the techie/managerial route to success decoded in simplistic paneer wrap language.

Oh, before I forget, a little bit of mandatory failure along the way is seen as idealism. Idiots.

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I had written a more detailed piece on a related subject in Understanding the Rot in Academia