Playing Parvez Rasool: Politics and Pawns

I am glad they left Parvez Rasool out. I am glad because by the act of not sending him — the "first Kashmiri" to represent India — on the field, we are witness to varied kinds of politicking.

On Saturday, Aug 3, India was playing the 5th ODI against Zimbabwe in Bulawayo. We were already in the lead. Of the 15-man squad, Rasool was the only one who was not given a game.

The result was outrage. Why treat a Kashmiri as different when you want him to be India's hope?

Chief Minister Omar Abdullah expressed his anger with his usual dramatic flourish: "Did you really have to take him all the way to Zimbabwe to demoralise him? Wouldn't it have been cheaper to just do it at home?"

The CM is insulting the Indian team, the state he rules and Rasool, especially the latter when he pleaded on the eve of the last match to "give him a chance". Had there been allegations of malpractice or matchfixing, would he have been as quick to ask the team to treat a player from J&K without any favour?

One does not have to think too hard about the machinations and Mr. Abdullah is not the only one.

Kashmiri Pandits who hardly ever referred to Vivek Razdan and Suresh Raina are now emphasising their Kashmiri roots. Clearly, it is one of those 'use the populist sentiment' moments. It is not the same though, for Parvez Rasool lives in Kashmir and, unlike the other two, he has to 'earn' the India cap for reasons beyond cricket.

Does everything in J&K have to do with militancy? Rasool, a resident of Anantnag, has experienced it first-hand. When there were militant attacks in Bangalore in 2009. As India TV reported:

Police along with a few other people detained Rasool, who was a member of his state’s junior cricket team, as they had been staying within the premises of the Chinnaswamy Stadium which became the target of the militants.The youngster was later cleared of all charges and continued with his cricketing career to achieve greater heights.

“I dont want to talk much about that incident...Whatever happened back then is something I have left behind me and followed cricket. Now that I have worked so hard, I have got such good results,” said Rasool.

On the one hand, there is the real issue of the alienation of those from the state, and then there is a hint that even a sop would do. The word sop is not used though; it is called symbolism. That does not change anything. The Times of India said that not giving him a single game defied "both cricketing and symbolic logic". The first being "to test its bench strength in conditions quite different from home against a weak opposition".

This does not sound like an opportunity, but an insult. Experts might differ, but a weak opposition would be like playing at the nets. Besides, the tokenism would fall flat:

It would also have given a player from Jammu & Kashmir an unprecedented India cap, the symbolic value of which could have been huge. Sadly, the men on the spot didn't seem to understand this and nobody higher up nudged them either.

How different would this be from bookies placing calls to swing a match? The BCCI does not, and must not, decide what happens on the ground. And the BCCI is not the government of India. It is the GOI that will ultimately have to work with the state for real decisions, and not mere symbolism. As the report further states:

The first cricketer from J&K team to be selected for the national cricket team, Rasool is also a beacon of hope for players from a region which felt marginalized from Indian cricket's mainstream. By playing Rasool, who is by all accounts competent enough to hold his own against Zimbabwe, the Indian team could have brought joy to Kashmir and given the player confidence to get into the big league.

This is just patronising. Is a Kashmiri only competent enough to play Zimbabwe? If that is a weak team, then how will he gain confidence against bigger players? I read somewhere that his selection was fast-tracked after a good haul against Australia in India.

Kashmiris feel and are marginalised in several areas. And, it may not sound right to say it, but not everyone in the state is looking to represent India in cricket. And not everyone would be crestfallen over this 'picnic to Zimbabwe' because people continue to be killed and have to battle everyday issues.

If only there were sops and symbolic gestures to assuage those.

© Farzana Versey

Gaga's Gays and Spidey's Black

I never did think about Spiderman’s colour, except for his blue and red costume. So, what does a new half-black replacement mean? Is he termed the “Ultimate” only because he is a hybrid? Miles Morales sounds like one more of those gestures.

Axel Alonso, Marvel Editor in Chief, said:

“When the opportunity arose to create a new Spider-Man, we knew it had to be a character that represents the diversity—in background and experience—of the twenty-first century. Miles is a character who not only follows in the tradition of relatable characters like Peter Parker, but also shows why he’s a new, unique kind of Spider-Man—and worthy of that name.”

Spiderman is supposed to crawl up walls, save people, and lead a double existence. His bane and boon. With the racial angle, he will be politicised. White people, as much as blacks or any other races, can have diverse backgrounds within their fold. Besides, experiences are pretty much unique to individuals. It has been a decade since the 21st century kicked in, so why the sudden need to diversify?

His “half-black, half-Hispanic” origins come across as tokenism. It is true that no business enterprise would risk something only to offer sops, but there is a huge market of African Americans and the others, primarily immigrants, who would be interested for reasons other than mere uniqueness. It could be political correctness, or curiosity, or to see the ‘difference’.

Spiderman is an entrenched hero. They are not following the trend; they have moved Miles into a new category. He will wear the mask, but pajamas. The true test here is not scaling walls, but who he will save and what his heroism will come to denote. I am afraid the possibility of him catering to a niche market is stronger than any universal appeal. Not because he is black, but because he has been planned as that. Truly strong characters evolve. Miles Morales has already been trapped.

- - -

I love Lady Gaga for pushing the envelope and parodying pop culture, but her recent comment is worse than tokenism. She was releasing her line of baby wear and said she’d like to have kids.

"Some day, a long way from now. But I wouldn't love them unless they were gay.”

What is she trying to prove? That she supports alternative sexuality? That she does and has expressed it publicly. With this statement, she has confirmed that love is conditional and she will probably inject some hormones that will ensure the children turn out the way she wants.

A gay infant will not show signs of sexual orientation, nor will s/he when they grow up to be toddlers. Perhaps not until their teens, maybe even later. What will she do until then? Hold back her love? If they turn out to be heterosexual, will she turn them away or inculcate gay values and gay behaviour – if there are any such standard forms – to ensure that they are influenced enough? Or maybe they will just go along to be what mommy wants them to be?

I doubt if the gay community would concur with her views. She makes it seem like they need ‘special’ care.

Don't IITs teach guys about women?

This is so Rehman Malik-like. Before we get to the IIT hotshot/novelist Chetan Bhagat's bizarre take on women, we must deal with Pakistan’s Interior Minister. Now what did he do?

He said in response to the recent killings in Karachi:

“According to my personal experience in Karachi, if, let’s say, it is said that 100 people have died in target killings, when I did the investigation, I found that there were only 30 target killings. 70% were those people who wanted to be rid of their wives and girlfriends or girlfriends who wanted to be rid of their boyfriends. All the figures are with me, they killed them.”

Mr. Malik was not referring to honour killings, for getting rid of wives, boyfriends and girlfriends is different. I do not know how he conducted these investigations if the cases did not come to the police. Target killings in Karachi are an old phenomenon and although the motives have changed now, it was not too long ago when Shia doctors were targeted. One important observation: women may want to get rid of boyfriends but not husbands, whereas husbands would want to get rid of wives, according to him. The old patriarchal legitimate bogey.


Now, we come to the IIT lad, Bhagat, who is worried about some Nielsen survey that says Indian women are the most stressed out in the world.

Here is the stuff he dished out in an op-ed today and my response:

"87% of our women feel stressed out most of the time. This statistic alone has caused me to stress out. Even in workaholic America, only 53% women feel stressed.

What are we doing to our women? I’m biased, but Indian women are the most beautiful in the world. As mothers, sisters, daughters, colleagues, wives and girlfriends – we love them. Can you imagine life without the ladies?

It would be a universe full of messy, aggressive and egomaniacal males running the world, trying to outdo each other for no particular reason. There would be body odour, socks on the floor and nothing in the fridge to eat. The entertainment industry would die. Who wants to watch movies without actresses?"

Ooh…you know something? We are stressed out not because of what you do to us, but because we have reasons of our own. We own our stress, okay? You do not do us, even as stress. And did they not teach you at the IIT hostel where to keep your socks and you ate at the canteen, did you not? Or rustled up an omelette? Don’t the tech/management guys discuss male chefs? As for body odour, do you get a sponge rub down to help or is the deo made in the kitchen? As for the actresses, they are there for more than entertainment, but if that’s the only way you see it, then go ahead. It is your way to de-stress.

"Kids would be neglected and turn into drug addicts or psychopaths by age 10. Soon, all-male world leaders would lose their tempers at the slightest provocation, and bomb the guts out of each other’s countries. In short, without women and their sanity, the world would perish."

Are you kidding? Where did you get that number 10 from? Do you round up every figure? You were talking about stress and you seem to suggest that women are becoming extinct. This is so childish. I mean, have you ever been to an orphanage or rehab centre even for some management summertime crap? There are poor people and they do not figure in any study on stress, neither do their mothers. They could have no parents.

It is not the job of women to tame men, shave and prettify them to be nice world leaders who don’t go bombing. Just for your information, India’s sex ratio is skewed and there are way fewer women, but India has not bombed any country, unless there was a war. What do you say to that? Go on, scratch your head. I am sure some woman will shampoo your hair despite all the stress.

"Yet, look at how we Indians, a land of spiritual people, treat them. At an extreme, we abort girls before they are born, neglect them in their upbringing, torture them, molest them, sell them, rape them and honour-kill them. Of course, these criminal acts are performed by a tiny minority."

Oh, you also read the newspaper headlines? Nice. Now, go to BKS Iyengar and learn a few yogasanas and decide how to talk about women’s stress after the spiritually uplifting experience.

"However, a majority of us are involved in lesser crimes. We judge, expect too much, don’t give space and suffocate our women’s individuality. Imagine if you did this to men – won’t they be stressed out?"

Imagine! Listening to Lennon or just watching ‘Desperate Housewives’?

"For now, i want to give Indian women five suggestions to reduce their stress levels. 

• One, don’t ever think you are without power. Give it back to that mother-in-law. Be who you are, not someone she wished you would be. She doesn’t like you? That’s her problem.
• Two, if you are doing a good job at work and your boss doesn’t value you – tell him that, or quit. Talented, hard-working people are much in demand.
• Three, educate yourself, learn skills, network – figure out ways to be economically independent. So next time your husband tells you that you are not a good enough wife, mother or daughter-in-law, you can tell him to take a hike.
• Four, do not ever feel stressed about having a dual responsibility of family and work. It is difficult, but not impossible. The trick is not to expect an A+ in every aspect of your life. You are not taking an exam, and you frankly can’t score cent per cent (unless you are in SRCC, of course). It is okay if you don’t make four dishes for lunch, one can fill their stomach with one. It is okay if you don’t work until midnight and don’t get a promotion. Nobody remembers their job designation on their dying day.
• Five, most important, don’t get competitive with other women. Someone will make a better scrapbook for her school project than you. Another will lose more weight with a better diet. Your neighbour may make a six-dabba tiffin for her husband, you don’t – big deal…There is no ideal woman in this world, and if you strive to become one, there will be only one thing you will achieve for certain – stress.

So breathe, chill, relax. Tell yourself you are beautiful, do your best and deserve a peaceful life. Anybody trying to take that away from you is making a mistake, not you. Your purpose of coming to this earth is not to please everyone. Your purpose is to offer what you have to the world, and have a good life in return. The next time this survey comes, i don’t want to see Indian women on top of the list. I want them to be the happiest women in the world. Now smile, before your mother-in-law shouts at you for wasting your time reading the newspaper."

You know what, Mr. Chetan Bhagat? Here is what you and all the stressed males should do:

1. Don’t be yourself. That stinks.
2. Forget talent, just sell your wares and take sanyas.
3. Don’t educate yourself – it will be rot.
4. Don’t worry about the dual responsibility of being a fool and craving a fool’s paradise. No one notices.
5. Get competitive with other men, or else you’ll never know there are better guys out there. And there are ideal women and men because the ideal lies in the eyes of the beholder, not a Deepak Chopra-clone studded with stereotypes.

So, breathe, chill, relax and go take a hike. And smile. Despite all the stress we bring upon ourselves because of work, talent, genuine concern, we still have the time to read piffle and chuckle over it.

Gosh, now back to worrying about those political leaders going on a bombing spree. Life is looking good. We are the world.