Will Ramdev Join The SlutWalk?

I’d like to know how many of these women who are promoting the SlutWalk in India are bothered about sluts. Spend a day as a slut, a whore, a sex worker and then tell us what it feels like to be called a slut after servicing upto ten men in a tiny cubicle behind a dirty curtain. Yes, you want to bring awareness to India, then don’t ride on the name of a group of women who don’t wear masks or carry placards saying they are sluts. For them it is bloody work and the only means of earning. And most of them do not dress up in fancy dress even when they have to lure men for their keep.

Some of them should get together and protest against this group of pampered pop activists and prick their bubble.

Women, feminists and others, have been writing about their bodies, about sexual exploitation, about objectification. So, why is the SlutWalk being heralded as something that has finally arrived in India, like some colonial hangover after a rave party?

I thought I’d give this major happening a pass because what does it say that one has not said before? But the people responsible and those opposed are gearing up for it. To sufficiently localise it, they have added ‘besharmi morcha’ to the terminology. What does it convey? That, yeah, we are shameless and so what?

Someone said, oh, cut out the crap about rural women, as long as it works for some. It works for the very people who already don’t give a damn, will dress as they wish at their lounge parties and ask for “Orgasm on the beach’ from a bartender who has seen more cleavages than cognac bottles. It will work for the teen brigade that is looking for a heart-stopping, heavy-breathing cause that is in your face but does not need much work. It will work for a certain kind of feminist who is discovering her ‘ism’ and a walk won’t hurt.

It is true that women are often derided for what they wear, but it is disturbing to see westernised clothing as representative. What about hipster sarees and backless cholis? How many of the girls/women will be dressed in everyday clothes and not hot pants and short skirts? Because this is making it into a garment association and women are objectified even in the workplace not because of what they wear but who they are – talented, confident and achievers. Their achievement is stimulus enough to taunt them.

The SlutWalk is not only about rape, but while Bollywood films of the 80s often had courtroom scenes where a lawyer raised sexist questions, art-house cinema has not been much different – what about ‘Bawandar’ that was based on the Bhanwari Devi gang-rape case? The protagonist was asked: “Were you wet?” She had her ‘odhni’ covering her, but her head was not lowered. Finally she said, looking straight into his eyes, in her dialect, “A woman gets wet when she is intimate out of choice, but when it is forced on her she bleeds.”

It is sad that we begin to be thankful for small mercies, so if someone takes on the ‘challenge’ of portraying a true story, we shower hosannas. But think about it. The rape in the movie was depicted quite graphically. Then at the police station the cop is shown smelling the victim’s ‘ghagra’, swirling in it and finally masturbating. There is also the lasciviousness of the MLA who asks the culprits whether they enjoyed it or not. All this in the name of realism.

Do the Dilli billis know about these aspects? How grounded are they in such real issues and what about the already educated men in the BMWs who commit date rape? What about marital rape and the silence of emotional rape?

Now we have Baba Ramdev who has made the accusation that the cops had plans to rape his female supporters at the Ramlila grounds rally. It is pretty disgusting the way women are used all around. There are several cases where such things happen, but in an open ground with the ruling party watching and seeking electoral brownie points? Isn’t it surprising then that he chose to dress as a woman to escape? Has he ever commented on the Nityanand type swamis and their antics captured on camera? Or the godman who sold pornographic CDs of young boys and girls against the exotic backdrop of the Varanasi ghats and of his wife too with deity pictures in the background? Does Baba have anything to say about these?

The Slutwalk is a minor tic, but today when everyone wants to be a concerned citizen, it could turn into a movement. I won’t be surprised if some media group joins in to sponsor the event. After all, we do have beauty pageants that already flaunt the female body as an example of empowerment. The ramp is the precursor of the SlutWalk. No one calls it ‘besharmi’ because these girls are trained by ‘experts’ and Mother Teresa protégées in diction and clichés. They speak up for causes ranging from global warming to education. Not one of them has spoken up for the real slut. The whore. The sex worker. The woman who works by getting fucked. Really.

If on the appointed day they can walk and show solidarity for those women, then these hawks can tawk.

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(c) Farzana Versey

Condoms at the Commonwealth Games

Promoting promiscuity
by Farzana Versey

The Indian government is prepared. It is providing 150 vending machines at the Commonwealth Games (CWG) village from where athletes will be able to purchase condoms. Will this promote prostitution? Our former sports minister, Mani Shankar Aiyer, thinks so...

Objecting to contraception at the venue will not stop prostitution.

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Full column at Express Tribune:

http://tribune.com.pk/story/42170/promoting-promiscuity/

The Queen, Brothels and Commonwealth Games

Isn’t it time we stopped the Commonwealth Games? Participants are countries that once were colonies of the British. We are now independent nations. Sports of any kind do not depend on old laws and aspects that hark back to the days and ways of yonder.

You might wonder why we play games that we inherited from the Brits. Then, we can go splitting hairs over several other things. Here, nomenclature reveals a form of slavery.

And the Queen of England has been inaugurating it for 44 years. This time, she won’t attend. She is busy, which should give us an opportunity not to be lazy about the monarchy and its role in our lives and our public image. Instead, we are seeing it as a “departure from tradition”. She is sending Prince Charles as her emissary to read out a message to the athletes during the opening ceremony. Prince Edward is the Vice Patron of the Commonwealth Games Federation, so he will be attending.

For a few months now one had been reading reports about how our home minister has been urging officials to pull all stops and see to it that the roads leading to the venues are in perfect shape; it is a good thing but he has talked about making a good impression to the world.

Obviously, we as citizens do not deserve these facilities.

In a related report, brothels in Delhi’s red-light area are being given a makeover and the residents are being given English lessons, as though they will be asked to have conversations.

Besides the fancy tiles, split ACs, refrigerators and LCD TVs have appeared as the latest additions in these brothels, which too hope to benefit from the Games extravaganza. While the owners themselves provide most of the money, funds have also come from National Network for Sex Workers, which is funded by the Ford Foundation. Apart from renovating the brothels, non-voluntary organisations are also focusing on health and hygiene of the workers.

It is sad that it takes an international event to motivate not just government officials but NGOs too. Should not hygiene and health be priorities every day, especially in professions that are vulnerable most?

Business does increase considerably on such occasions, be it sports or political meets, but this really is playing up sex tourism.

End note:

LCD TVs in brothels? Will they be watching the games there?

Old Man and the She

Narain Dutt Tiwari is doing fine. He is the Governor of Andhra Pradesh and was caught with his pajamas down but with his shirt on lying on his back in bed, we are informed, with two women and a third at his feet. The women were “without a shred of clothing”.

Pictures of these appeared on the Telugu channel ABN Andhra Jyothi for an hour before someone had enough of the pajama party.

I have a few technical queries, but first the details.

A woman named Radhika sent the girls in return for mining projects she was promised, the channel said. As the promise was not kept, she handed over some pictures taken by her.

“We have evidence (to back) what we have shown,” said the person from the TV channel.

Right. The woman who did not get what she wanted sent them as bait.

What are the women’s organisations that are protesting going to do about it? Here are some of their quotes…

The Progressive Organisation of Women:

“We have a woman President and another managing the biggest party in the country. We will petition them to take stern action against this man.”

All India Democratic Women’s Association:

“But such action is not taken against a person who holds such a high constitutional position and has besmirched the highest office with this cheap act.”

A Rights activist:

“We must cleanse Raj Bhavan with milk.”

Is this a sex scandal? As Governor, Raj Bhavan is his house. Was he using office space? Did he leave a meeting for the rendezvous? Did he physically abuse the girls? The media has referred to them as call girls – have they complained against him? Did he call them? No. Then, what ruse did they use to get in?

Now, for my tech stuff. The man is lying down. These are stills. Was he stripped? Did he strip the women or did they opt to do it themselves? Did he pay them? Who took the pictures if they were occupied at the task at hand and they were wearing nothing where they could hide a spy cam? Was the camera positioned beforehand? Was a staffer involved? Is anyone thinking about security risk?

The issue of Telengana is still causing hiccups. Perhaps, this was a diversionary tactic and a political manouevre. Opposition TDP president and former CM N Chandrababu Naidu said:

“The Raj Bhavan incident shows the low level of ethics. Everyone should be ashamed. The governor should either resign immediately or should be sacked.”

Ethics! What a lovely word it is, can be used for anything. Is it ethical that some woman wanted to get favours, chose to bait him and get pictures taken and then sent them off to a TV channel that telecast it? How does it affect people’s morality? Do the Andhraites consider N.D.Tiwari as a role model who they have been emulating and this act has come as a shock and altered their perception of sexuality and high office?

And why are some people wondering about the ethics of having the TV channel muzzled? Don't we sit and ask questions about the ethics of reality shows? How different is this and how will it contribute to social understanding of anything? If those shows are staged, then what about this one?

We are a bunch of hypocrites. Had he used one of the circuit houses that our hardworking babus regularly do, would it have been okay? Had he given that mine deal, would it be fine? Had the TV channel not aired it, nobody would know. Then what? Would anyone talk about ethics?

As regards washing the Raj Bhavan with milk, where are the ethics of wastage?

People do not consider politicians as paragons of virtue, anyway. What about other professionals or figures we treat with awe and the tamashas they indulge in? Why do they get hushed up?

This one will be, too. There have been many cases down the years, but we just don’t seem to be able to accept them. Oh, Nehru’s relationship with Edwina was platonic kind of stuff. A lot does happen. And if it is consensual, then why not? If we want saints, we will ask for saints. Let these men and women continue to do what normal people do or wish they could do.

There was another instance about someone claiming he was his father. ND has had such disappearing stints earlier, and once everyone buys enough time for Telengana things will be forgotten, including that mine deal.

Obviously, his spokespersons have denied it was him. Poor guy, trapped in this titular post, cannot even show off. Or he would qualify for the Viagra Ratna award if he did more than just lie down.
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Image: The picture is about the paternity case and obviously old, for the boy brought it up when he was 29

Conjugal Rights – Civil and Military

What are the courts upto?

In a rare order that would make men think twice before trying to mislead the court to protect his second marriage, the Bombay high court recently reversed a divorce and imposed an exemplary cost of Rs 50,000 on a Pune resident. He has to pay his wife for his deliberate efforts to keep the wife deprived of her conjugal rights and make it impossible for her to resume cohabitation.

If the husband, by his own acts, made cohabitation with his wife impossible by living with another woman, his behaviour amounts to being wrong and disentitles him from seeking a divorce on the grounds that he had no physical relationship with the first wife, the HC stated. (full report)

Is this about morality? The wife was denied conjugal rights and because, technically, the man was still married to her his remarriage was considered bigamous. However, he was granted divorce later. Now, the High Court has rapped the family court for granting him a divorce.

What I do not understand is that a certain amount of time – one year that is the mandatory period, by the courts and according to the Hindu Marriage Act – had passed.The wife says it is because he was living with another woman that she could not have conjugal relations with him. I am surprised that if she had to battle it out, why was there no talk about the children, who were minors when he left?

The court has reversed the divorce. There is no mention of the second wife who he has been living with since 1992. Even if her position stands legally nullified, how about bringing her into the picture since the courts are making moral pronouncements? Was that marriage registered? If so, how do things stand? What about her social status, as she must have been seen as his wife? Did she know he had not got the divorce when they were together? Did she know when he did get it? Was she kept informed by him?

The man has spent more of his life with her (almost 17 years) than with his first wife (11 years).

Regarding the one-year period of not cohabiting, nowhere does it say either of the spouses cannot cohabit outside. And is there any way to ascertain whether such affairs and sexual encounters take place if they are random? What if the man had fled to some other country and did not visit and therefore did not cohabit?

Would the court deem it as denial of conjugal rights?

The worst aspect of this case is how the courts are fighting against each other. This just shows that we are ill-equipped to deal even at the level of family cases. Where will this go? The wife will be happy that she managed to give him a tough time? The children will be happy that their father has been made to eat crow and return? The second wife will be happy that the man whose wife she was considered is now no more his wife, just like that? The man will be happy that he is returning to his old legally-wedded status?

Will he remain loyal? Will the wife take him to court if he has an affair but leaves no traces behind? Is this about morality or proprietary rights?

Fidelity is extremely important but there is legalistic fidelity where you are bound and there is emotional fidelity where you want to be bound.

A court cannot pronounce judgement on these delicate issues.

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An issue related in a different way is about our Border Security Force (BSF) jawans along the India-Pakistan border in Punjab:

Last few years have seen an alarming rise in AIDS cases in the border force, said Shalinder Kaur, medical officer, BSF, Ferozepur sector. A couple of jawans in each of the seven BSF units in the area have contracted the deadly virus and are undergoing treatment, she added.

There are the usual half-denials. But the report quotes a jawan who is being treated as saying:

We should be granted leave and allowed to stay with our families on BSF campuses.

Instead of the conference being planned “to chalk out strategies for combating the disease”, the soldiers must be granted adequate leave and it is ridiculous that families are not permitted to stay with them on campus when sex workers can find their way there. Apparently, they come in as members of orchestra troupes. If this is known, then obviously someone is looking the other way.

Besides the aspect of the disease spreading, where are the security concerns? After all, this is the border area. If such a masquerade can pass muster then what is the guarantee that other kinds won’t?

Espionage is probably sexier than sex itself.

Mumbai - Sin City?

Is Mumbai safe? The recent rape cases have once again highlighted the issue. But, how can you call it sin city?

I have trolled through those very lanes they are now talking about. The article I reproduce below based on one such encounter still makes me shudder. What if I had not been cocooned? What if I were in those very streets?

Trading places

I don't know if Mona is a prostitute but I do know she has not forgiven me. Every time I think of her, and it is often, I feel guilty about having a bank account, of doing things that others cannot do. But while these are dull aches, with Mona it's different. There is a stinging slap.

Mona came into my life with a loud curse. In the dead of a summer night, I spotted her in a by-lane of Colaba (a hub of Bombay), hurling abuses into the uncaring darkness. I was scouting around for interesting people for a night story. She was looking for some food.

We seemed made-for-each-other. I bought her a meal and we got talking. It hadn't been an easy life. Childhood lasted till the age of 10. After that, she was physically abused by her brother and brother-in-law. She was from a well-placed family. Soon, her soul was torn to shreds. She lost faith. She lost sight of where she was going, and found her way into the streets.

When I met her, she was angry; there were needle marks on her hands. Then she took me further into the lane, muttering all the while, "I have a baby." There, lying on the footpath was a black child. "Yes, the man was a nigger." She said she was not a prostitute. "Look, if I were a whore, do you think I would be dressed like this? Do you think my breasts would sag?"

In less than an hour, I had tried to capture eternity. In a fraction of this time, she had gobbled up her meal. Before I left, she asked me my address. I scrawled it on a piece of paper. She kissed my hand, "You are my friend," she said.

The story was published, with Mona as the grand finale. Two days later, she tuned up at the office, sozzled, screaming, "I'll kill her!" I wasn't there. The next day, I made it a point to be around. It's not everyday that people want to kill you. When she arrived, I took her to an inside room and asked her what the problem was. I got her a cup of coffee. She was misled by someone who couldn't read straight who said that I was out to get her. I brought out a copy and read out every word, explained what it meant. I repeated her quotes to her, including this one: "I don't sleep around with men. I don't need sex. I only need to feed my baby and myself." And she had spoken all this in perfectly intelligible English. Now she merely nodded and again took my hand, Though she refused to admit she was on drugs, she agreed to get herself cleaned out.

I called up a friend who was working at the rehab centre. But Mona was no more interested. She started giving me stories about the terrible times at such places. She started coming when I was away, barging into cabins. She had only to walk towards the washroom and there would be a fright. What if she had AIDS? What if she was diseased? Almost everyday, I'd get a report of her goings-on.

I wanted to give her clothes and my colleagues warned me that this would become a habit. The only thing I could do and she wouldn't let me, was to get her into a centre. "It's boring," she said. Her manner became difficult. Once she interrupted my conversation with the production manager with an arrogant wave of her hand. He just had to stop. Another time she insisted I take her into another room. She was in pain. She took off her clothes and showed me all the bruises, "They beat me up, they do it all the time." We were almost friends and it wasn't even fair weather. I had never felt so helpless before.

While everybody around was aware of the embarrassment she was causing me, few knew about the agony. Till date, I don't know where I went wrong, if at all I did. But somewhere along, work and concerns got mixed up. She became another woman. She could have been in my place, I in hers.

How would I have responded? What could my expectations have been? Isn't it possible that all she wanted was someone to talk to, and her aggressiveness was merely a means of getting my initial attention, accustomed as she was to being ignored as any other drunken hussy? How could I put myself in her shoes?

(http://news.rediff.com/style/nov/10farz.htm)