The Naked and the Political

A naked man addressing politicians in the assembly should raise eyebrows. But in India this is cause for reverence. It is the same India whose moral police has problems with the way people dress up.

So why is it okay for Tarun Sagarji to be nude before MLAs at the Haryana Assembly, discussing subjects ranging from female foeticide to Pakistan? Because he is a monk of the Digamber sect. This sect believes in being 'sky-clad', and one accepts the different forms of worship and the reasons for it.

However, one does not see other Digamber Jains go around without clothes. Besides, if it is the Muni's religious uniform, then he should be adhering to it in the religious confines. The Assembly is not one. Religious figures of various stripes should not even be permitted in these halls, let alone become political leaders, as indeed some are.

The whole point of abstaining from clothes is to divest oneself of comfort and arrogance, of specific markings and attachment.

Would these ministers listening to him in rapt attention offer the same respect to any other member not clothed according to their moral prism? They would be sniggered at, and if a woman we to dress 'inappropriately', whatever that means, then she would be objectified.

As happens often, much of the reaction is not to the monk, but to a response to him. Music director Vishal Dadlani is said to have "mocked" him when he posted on a site: "If you voted for these people, YOU are responsible for this absurd nonsense! No #AchcheDin, just @NoKachcheDin ."

He belongs to the Aam Aadmi Party, and his chief Arvind Kejriwal was quick to say: "Tarun Sagar ji Maharaj is a very reverred saint, not just for jains but everyone. Those showing disrespect is unfortunate and shud stop" and "I met Shri Tarun Sagar ji Maharaj last year. Our family regularly listens to his discourses on TV. We deeply respect him and his thoughts."

Ideally, Mr. Kejriwal should be questioning religious people being in a political space. But, he is himself at the mercy of them. Nobody should care what he or his family personally believe in, but by stating it as a response he conveys clearly that he is a part of the rotten system. Vishal apologised and says he will quit politics.

We cannot blame only the Hindutva parties, for even the secular ones kowtow to religious leaders from every faith and use them to influence the electorate even though they have precious little real influence.

I am not against religion or anybody practising it. We all need spiritual sustenance (and not everybody can handle their drinks well!), but, seriously, god is in her/his heaven and therefore perhaps nothing is right with the world.

---

Speaking of which, this photograph of Olympics winning athlete P.V. Sindhi on her way to thank the deity. Again, this is personal.

But India's showing at the Olympics is not something to crow about. The few exceptions only underline the apathy. Besides, the athletes have complained about neglect and paltry conditions. It is their talent alone that stands with them despite everything.

If they think the talent is god-given, then it should be looked after by the gods too. Or at the very least the gods should do something about Indian officials.

Indians are big on 'mannat', asking for favours at various shrines and dargahs. In that sense, we are all greasing palms, if not of babus then babas.

---

Speaking of babus and government servants, here is Madhya Pradesh chief minister Shivraj Chouhan carried by policemen when he was on a tour of flood-hit areas in his state. Was the water too wet?

Salman Khan vs. Milkha Singh... and the league of ranters

“Imagine if the American contingent for the Olympics had George Clooney as goodwill ambassador!” stated the TV anchor, shock in his voice. He, and some of his panelists, were essentially foaming over the fact that actor Salman Khan has been chosen as goodwill ambassador of India for the 2016 Olympics in Rio. All hell broke loose. Why Salman? What has Bollywood got to do with sports? Is this not insulting to our sporting heroes?

While some sportspersons like boxer Mary Kom and shooter Abhinav Bindra seemed to welcome the move, former athlete Milkha Singh – the legendary Flying Sikh – did not. He said:

"I am of the view that our sportspersons, be those from shooting, athletics, volleyball or other sports, they are the real ambassadors of India who would represent the country in the Olympics. Still, if we had to pick an ambassador, it could have been from the sporting arena.”

Salman Khan is not representing any particular sport (and we do know about the sort of one-upmanship that exists among the different sports), so he is a neutral figure. Our players work under great stress not only on their skills, but in dealing with bureaucracy, harassment and pathetic facilities. We do not see many people raising their voices against these, not even the tall players who are now commenting about this selection and how wrong it is.

Here are some of the reasons dished out:

We cannot see beyond Bollywood.

If you spend a little time on social media or television, you will mostly see films being discussed. Yes, there is cricket and the World Cup football games, but since most are watching it on a screen, this too qualifies as, in a sense, a portrayal of the game. We see the players as characters with quirks, with different style statements. How often do you get deep analysis of a game completely devoid of these aspects?

Salman Khan had a simple thing to say after the announcement:

“It is a matter of great national pride that our athletes are performing better and better at the Olympic Games and I think we should all join hands in giving them every support and cheer for them so that Rio 2016 becomes our best Olympic tally.”

He is not replacing a sportsperson but an official.

He is promoting his film Sultan in which he enacts the role of a wrestler.

He has not said anything that might indicate it, but there could be soft marketing. Now, soft marketing takes place all the time if we consider the very ‘being’ of a celebrity as a public relations exercise. Sachin Tendulkar owns a restaurant; he could be promoting that. Mahesh Bhupathi has an agency to promote sportspersons; he could very well land a few deals. We can go on with this.

Human being are usually glamour-struck. That is the reason you get these angry comments. You think they would have bothered if a fairly unknown sports star was appointed goodwill ambassador and somebody had an objection to it? Does anybody even remember who the earlier goodwill people were?

Salman has a criminal and bad boy image.

He does. [Just a thought: Would Americans cry foul if Tiger Woods – bad boy and sportsman – was chosen to represent the US?]

Salman has been to jail for shooting black bucks and when his car killed a pedestrian and injured three others. In the latter, the courts have let him off. There is no excuse for either of the crimes, to whatever extent his direct involvement may be. But, in all these years he has acted in and produced films that went on to become huge hits. Do all those who are raising his criminal image now not watch his movies?

If we ask how can such a man represent India, then we should also ask how can we permit so many MLAs and MPs from sitting in Parliament. Who is voting for them? Do we raise our voices enough? No. We aim at the softer targets. Salman Khan has clout, and he must surely be using it. But in comparison to the political leaders, he is fair game.

And to think some people in the media take a high ground on this. These people whose newspapers and TV channels promote politicians and their photoshopped lies, real crimes too, should be the last people to object.

Celebrities are arrogant.

When was the last time people mentioned Milkha Singh, whose honour they are so frenziedly protecting now? It is ironical that it took a Bollywood ‘insult’ for them to wake up to the legend.

Salman’s father Salim Khan responded to Singh’s statement with these tweets:

• “Milkhaji it is not Bollywood it is the Indian Film Industry and that too the largest in the world.”

• “The same industry which resurrected you from fading away in oblivion.”

Here, let us break this down. In the first he is just expressing distaste for the term ‘Bollywood’ that is often used pejoratively. As an award-winning screen writer, he is permitted to be protective of his industry.

It is the second statement that has caused problems. They say he is being arrogant, and how dare he suggest that a figure like Milkha Singh needs Bollywood.

If we are a little honest with ourselves, the truth is, yes, Milkha Singh as many of this generation know him, did come alive in the film Bhaag Milkha Bhaag. There can be no doubt that it resurrected him, unless we want to bury our heads in the sand or just pretend we can barf nonsense as long as it sounds ‘moral’.

Milkha Singh was fully involved with the movie on his life. It was fascinating to see Farhan Akhtar transform into him. The athlete did not charge anything for the rights. He asked for a token mount of one rupee. The filmmaker Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra arranged for a currency note issued in 1958, the year in which he won the gold medal, a first for India, at the Commonwealth Games.

I do not understand the argument against the film earning crores “on his life”. This was not some sneaky production; he was a part of it. Indeed, the film had to make money because the producer spent on it. Milkha Singh had a choice to demand money. It is said that he was upset because he was expecting 10 percent of the profits. Since it was in the papers, how come none of his now-vocal supporters took this up on his behalf?

There are other sports biopics. We had one on Mary Kom, and there is one on Mahendra Singh Dhoni. Dhoni was paid Rs. 80 crore and Mary Kom Rs. 25 lakh. It is obviously all skewed, but it has a lot to do with economics. Incidentally, both of them do enjoy being as glamorous as film stars. It was surprising to see Ashwini Nachappa questioning Salman’s choice; she herself had tried her hand at acting in films, as have a few others.

Many would not remember, or might not have been born then, but some decades ago when P.T. Usha was riding high a news magazine, India Today, had got her all dolled up for a feature. They too needed to grab eyeballs using glamour.

It is possible that under pressure, the Olympics Association of India decides to withdraw Salman Khan or the actor might do so himself. It would be interesting to see what happens next. If one goes by the general slovenliness of our new sports lovers, they will go back to their organised lives, smirking at the ‘fans’ when they are the ones really obsessed with celebrity.

How J.K.Rowling demoted Serena Williams

What should have been the brilliant Serena Williams' moment has transformed into a J.K.Rowling defending Serena one. The tennis star has enough calibre and celebrity to withstand stray comments, if she pays heed to them at all.

Instead, by rushing to her rescue Ms Rowling has reduced that victory to victimisation.

It started with Rowling posting her praise for Serena on Twitter: "I love her. What an athlete, what a role model, what a woman!"

A fellow called Rob responded with, "Ironic then that main reason for her success is that she is built like a man."

That's when Rowling did what she is now all over the place for. She posted two pictures of Serena in a slinky, clingy gown, her contours emphasised, and captioned it, "'she is built like a man'. Yeah, my husband looks just like this in a dress. You're an idiot."

For doing this, Rowling is now celebrated for having "decimated", "destroyed" a troll. Seriously? Can't even imagine the search words she must have used to find these photographs. Was it "Serena looking like a woman" or "Serena's hips"?

Rob has an opinion about women's bodies, and he does not think twice about commenting on a tennis player's despite the fact that she has won due to stroke play and not what she looks like. But, is J.K.Rowling any different from the guy who is denounced as a "body shamer"? One may accuse him of being wrong, or of misogyny, but has he shamed Serena?

Why would being built like a man qualify as shame? If a graceful male dancer is said to be built like a woman, would that be an insult? It ought not to.

I am surprised that the media has gone all pulp prose to commend Rowling, who should in fact be ticked off. She posts a picture of Serena looking 'feminine' and goes on to highlight it. What if she did not have those curves, would she then be less of a person of the female gender?

Not all women are built in the mould that a Rowling fancies as representative, just as not all men are uniform in build that Rob implies.

Worse, Serena is objectified not by the unknown man, but by this celebrity author. It's almost like a put-on display to justify to that Rob guy that she is all woman, all flesh. This is body shaming because it feels the need to prove that it is the desirably accepted female body and not what a guy from somewhere suggests it is.

Serena has won a title at Wimbledon. Her body has not. So, J.K. Rowling and her cheerleaders in the media and social media, bereft of nuance, can just shut up. And perhaps grow up.

Football's Holy War?

I have not watched a single World Cup football match this year. Among the slew of trivia surrounding the players that often overtook the games, the best one has been left for the finale.

Will the Pope root for his home country Argentina and would this be in conflict with his predecessor, a German? After all the society type gossip about hairstyles, shoes, girlfriends, and lookalikes, and that goth moment of the Suarez Bite, the finals between the two countries have found a new niche.

Pope Francis has shown that he is quite worldly-wise and not confined to the Vatican. The media is discussing whether he will be pitted against Pope Benedict XVI who is living in retirement now. Both are said to be football fans. According to Christian Today:

Some are cheekily suggesting that it will be a testament to who is the greatest pray-er, and perhaps even who enjoys the highest favour with God.

Sports do have the same appeal, and demand obeisance, as religions. The sounds from the stadium have an effect similar to mass elation or grieving during defining holy festivals or moments. The players have a cult following, and their posture during a winning or losing strike is quite like one of prayer. In fact, it often is a prayer.

The website calls it "the holiest World Cup final yet". One assumes other World Cup finals had their holy moments, or perhaps all such games have divine provenance. Where did Diego Maradona's "hand of god" come from?

Now we have the more urgent: "The question is: who will pray the hardest?" One might have questioned the almost direct intrusion of religion in sport, but the pope vs. pope imagined skirmish sounds like harmless amusement. And it is unlikely that those rooting for either team will do so for their papal affiliations. It's not like we are talking about Mick Jagger!

© Farzana Versey

---

The image is obviously a meme.

Where honouring Sachin Tendulkar means securing popular vote

It is not about Sachin Tendulkar being honoured with the Bharat Ratna that is the issue. It is the timing, the manner in which the highest civilian award is handed out for a personal milestone. Sachin has played well for India, no doubt. But, why did the government not wait to confer this award? It seems now that it is a populist choice, almost as though bowing to public pressure and thereby scoring political points.

It is no secret that the Padma awards and Bharat Ratna too are driven by political considerations. At the run-up to the former, there is heavy lobbying. The lobbying for Sachin to get the Bharat Ratna has been in the public domain for a while now. I watched Lata Mangeshkat, who has taken on the role of advising on awards and political positions these days, root for Sachin on a TV show, as he played his last test match.

What exactly does such retirement mean, in days when the game offers so many options? Sachin, like many other cricketers, has used his position for commercial advantage. It is fair enough to say that he will continue to endorse products. Today's paper had this ad:

In wanting to pay tribute, it has inadvertently sent a message that here is the hero who has everything that you may not be able to aspire for, but at the very least you should have something to return to. There is something a little sad here.

On November 16, Sachin played his last match as people before him have done. His statistics are better, way better. His record as a 'clean cricketer' made him a middle-class icon. Here is the dichotomy, and to an extent it is a bit disturbing. Indian streets are full of gully cricket. There were people from humble origins who played successful innings.

Sachin came from a decent, educated background. Let us not for a moment forget that this would have had an impact on perception of him. He moved out of the literary enclave where he spent his childhood, he drove swishy cars, wore designer clothes, opened restaurants, was seen in the best company. Anybody else would have been seen in a different light. His persona did have something to do with it, but one cannot entirely ignore the middle-class propensity for accepting upward mobility and business acumen that does not come with any obvious taint.

This squishy image, bundled with achievement, has kept him safe from any slurs. Indians are cricket crazy. They think of Sachin as god. These are not streetside boys, but the educated. Those who can rub shoulders with the big people because now there is that little hope where smarts have replaced knowledge. The behaviour of his fans is no different from that of the bhakts of some politicians being built up as cult figures.

The cult of Sachin is in a different league with celebrities endorsing him. Should one have a quarrel with the honour for Tendulkar only because of this?

No. But, why does public sentiment not matter where it counts? The government comes out looking like it wanted the popular vote and decided to ride the crest.

There in the audience was Rahul Gandhi, sitting not in the VIP box, but with the spectators. There was Krishh Hritik Roshan, our version of Superman. There was Aamir Khan who has made his activist career with selective televised truth through 'Satyameva Jayate'. There was Nita Ambani, the owner of IPL team 'Mumbai Indians', who has already announced that Sachin will continue to play an important role. Another party at Antilla will soon be announced.

Tendulkar is the first sportsperson to be awarded the Bharat Ratna. This should make us feel ashamed over how the Indian government treats sports, and ought to make it obvious that this has nothing to do with love for sports. Yes, Sachin will get the facilities to run academies. Therefore, the highest civilian honour is like any popular award.

However, one must grant it to the authorities who made the final decision. They knew there would be suspicious minds, so they announced two recipients. The other one is Professor CNR Rao, the man behind India's maiden Mars mission. The papers have given him a footnote paragraph:

Prof CNR Rao is an eminent scientist and a well recognized international authority on solid state and materials chemistry. He has published over 1,400 research papers and 45 books.

Good move. Sachin fans can continue to hog the limelight because no one will be unduly bothered about Prof. Rao and the government can breathe easy it can fool most of the public that it has not been biased or opportunistic.

Yet, a maiden Mars mission? I suppose it is all about the confluence of planets and stars.

© Farzana Versey

---

For those who came in late, Justice Markandeya Katju had been lobbying for Mirza Ghalib to be honoured with the Bharat Ratna. Read my take on that: Writers, Patrons and Politics

---

Second image in collage is Sachin with Manjrekar, Vivek Razdan and journalist Shekhar Gupta in 1989 tour of Pakistan. I've used it before here...the lipstick boys.

India shortchanging Olympians?

We want our contingent at the Olympics to go for gold. Yet, if reports are to be believed, the players are complaining about their kits. The shorts are too tight, the sleeves too long, something is short, something missing.

More noise was made about Amitabh Bachchan carrying the torch, and other celebrities rooting for causes. The Olympics are not about activism and such celebrity involvement. It is a shame that the celebs who are using the huge forum for their concerns would not cough up money for the players.

The Olympics Association of India gave the contract to the best bidder, Dida. The largest Indian contingent ever (89 players) has been invested with kits amounting to Rs. 50 lakh. This is what one of our pampered cricketers make for attending an inauguration ceremony or endorsing a product.

On the one hand we talk about privatising, and yet when it comes to something so crucial we don’t have problems about exposing our inadequacies. I am glad the players are talking about it, although they should have done so before they left. Yet, it is not too late.

If money is the problem, then get rid a of a few officials who will be sitting in some comfortable hotel room, going sightseeing, and travelling back in comfort. That money should be used for the kits.

But then who really cares?

And if the ad above is an indication, then Samsung as partner can surely contribute for our “heroes”. Let us glitter, even if it is not gold.

Manufacturing the Greatest Indian

Do we know about who is the greatest Indian before Mahatma Gandhi?

It does not matter. We live in iconic times with iconic figure who did iconic things and deserve iconic status through iconic surveys. So, the question for a survey (TGI) “Based on an internationally acclaimed format by BBC held in 22 countries” is “Who is the greatest Indian after Mahatma Gandhi?” It is no surprise that it is a media-propped poll and “the initiative is to select that one great Indian after Mahatma Gandhi who is the most influential, iconic & inspirational and has impacted your life”.

There could be quite a few or perhaps none of the fifty names mentioned. But why is Gandhiji the cut-off date? I can understand the use of a term like “post-Independence”. If he is the benchmark, then what are the variables by which we are to judge industrialists, sportspersons, actors, scientists, musicians, activists or even politicians? Do they have to be ‘Gandhian’? If not, then does it not nullify the yardstick of the chosen iconoclasm?

Besides, how do we define an Indian as great? Due to their origin or their contribution to what is the ‘essential’ India, and that may be far removed from those featured here?

Indira Gandhi

It is ironical that Indira Gandhi, who had declared Emergency, shares the space with Jayprakash Narayan, who bitterly opposed it and suffered for it? The acquisitive business people stand along with the ones who gave it all up.

Vinoba Bhave

How do we judge? Will the general pool reflect how people feel, and I am not taking into account those that cannot vote by giving a missed call.

The media partners will have a good time. They will be in charge of the decision-making process. Primetime and newsprint will bring you the ‘news’, and then there will be analyses. As for the token of the title, there will be comparisons and whoever makes it will in some way be given a Gandhian rubdown.

The India that existed and flourished in the past does not exist. The India where discoveries were made, art and literature flourished, and political strategy was as crucial as swordsmanship, that India does not exist in the finger-wagging and tapping world. How can they say your vote counts, when they have already decided on the broad spectrum of who matters?

The luminaries are pretty much great in their fields, but what was relevant in say the 50s does not apply to those who came in later. Is there no difference between scoring a hundred tons and working among lepers? Is there no qualitative difference between a Dr. B. R. Ambedkar and a Kanshi Ram? How does Atal Bihari Vajyapee feature for being loved by both admirers and opponents, when that is how politics works?

Achievements are now propped up by commercial interests as they were probably ideologically exaggerated in the old days. Today’s greatness rests on success; yesterday’s on making inroads.

Is Mahatma Gandhi in any way a unifying force? The symbolism of the name is, of course, canny marketing. But it leaves one wondering as to whether the greatest Indian – whoever she or he may be – will also be one who has been truly great for India. If so, then what aspect of India? Ask no questions. A pedestal awaits. Your vote will give you a chance to be part of the icon factory.

(c) Farzana Versey

Can India afford the Formula race?

While I am against the globalisation mirage of India, I think that any of us firing the gun from the shoulders of the poor and dispossessed, unless they are specifically the target of discourse, is patently unfair. I can speak only for myself and in many ways all of us who are English-speaking/educated and have access to technological modes of communication can be deemed elitist, at least at the level to access to information and its dissemination.

The subject of India’s debut in the Formula 1 circuit is bound to raise the same questions about whether we can afford it. We cannot afford nuclear weapons, we cannot afford branded goods, we cannot afford fancy cars mainly because they hog up space. Who is this 'we', though? It is not a single group.

Let us take the arguments - well-meaning though they are - raised in an email from a discussion group:

It is strange that India, a zero in international sports (track & field, football etc) is to host this most expensive of sports.

Tickets will be priced at Rs 30,000 (£400) for two days. Germany’s ace Michael Schumacher has apparently given his blessings while America’s Lady Gaga (who usually sings and gyrates near naked) has been invited to perform at the F1 event. India elites have long been hungry for the western presence and approval. There is no doubt that the track must have been planned and constructed with total foreign knowhow.

It is true that we do not have a great record in sports, but that is mainly due to the cussedness of sports politics. Our hockey team wins and they are offered a piddly sum as reward. This is supposed to be our national game. How did it come to be so? Because we were good at it, the very best. Those were not days of sponsorship. In cricket, too, we have been fairly consistent, and rather good well before the advent of IPL and one dayers and T20. We have done well in golf, in snooker, in chess, in athletics, in archery, in weightlifting, in tennis, in badminton, and we have climbed mountains. It is not about who has done better. Let us not forget that even a Usain Bolt gets disqualified.

Many of these sports require sponsorship or patronage. Remember Sania Mirza’s training was paid for by a businessman. Most equipment and clothes don't come cheap. If we send shabby-looking players, our internationalists will be the first to object about our ‘image’. Training in many of these games is in fact expensive. Yet, quite a few of our current sports stars had rather humble beginnings, if we look at any major sport. There is a pecking order, no doubt about it, but does it have to do with an elitist sport?

It is far less elitist than horse racing, and not many strive to become jockeys. Yet, every year there are a few prime derby events and it must be said it is the only sport where the gamblers get more prominence, or the owners rather than the real players. Car racing and go-karting appeal to a larger audience, and like any sport test the stamina and skill of the drivers. It is also extremely risky. India has been silently conducting racing events for years now, and the tracks outside Chennai and Bangalore do not depend on foreign knowhow. I happen to know some people and have visited the Sriperumbadur track. The glamour aspect is there primarily because cars are anyway associated with it through advertising. We should be more worried about the number of foreign cars that are entering the Indian market and roads.

If we can get thrilled about Bill Gates coming and lecturing us about philanthropy then Schumacher’s visit is great. We have had some of our own drivers play at the international level. And Lady Gaga or any pop star from any field is an added attraction. When Oprah wants to do India she does not find ordinary people but our celebrities; that ‘gay prince’ appeared twice on her show with full royal regalia making a mockery of our democracy.

As regards ticket pricing, Indians eating out cough up this much at five-star hotels; they attend western classical music concerts which cost a pretty penny; they blow up on several other products, and they are made to feel wonderful when they buy a dinner table at a charity function if Richard Gere attends. The overheads cost more than what the charity gains.

Consider the fact that 80% of Indians have to live on RS 600 a month. They would need to save four years of earnings just to watch a bunch of overrated foreign drivers going round and round the course 60 times. Clearly the event is not for the masses but probably to impress the westerners that India has come of age – it is an ‘emerging power’, no matter that it is a starkly poor and malnourished country.

I am not sure if not having these races will solve poverty. These games are indeed not for the masses, just as reading and writing in English are not.

The Call and Kalmadi

“Ma’am, I need to speak to you.”

“What is this about?” I asked.

“You are on our database…of socially conscious people.”

“I am sorry but it’s not possible.”

“Ma’am, don’t you have two minutes?”

“In two minutes I can get noodles ready, not social consciousness.”

I cannot believe they are reaching your doorstep to ask you questions. This call was from my building’s intercom and am glad the watchman checked to see if I had invited any “laidiss”.

This little anecdote of the afternoon takes us straight to the shoe/slipper or whatever footwear that was chucked at Suresh Kalmadi, Commonwealth Games Organising Committee chief and chor.

Let us get one thing clear – there will be many voices who will now claim that he was nailed because of the hoo-haa at Jantar Mantar and at the urban social dos they will discuss “how wonderful that we made it and exposed that fellow”. Hello, hello, Ms/Mr Social Conscious, when you run your half marathon in designer tracksuits, don’t forget who you are running with, okay? And at one time Kalmadi was One Of Them. Suave. Smart. Just a li’l bit Slimy. Great organiser, though. I recall his Pune Festivals. He had a good eye for laavni dancers.

So, for the past few months, there was a cry of “Kalmadi, Kal…maa….di” and how he gave deals to people at pumped up prices. He has finally been arrested. Now, some are saying it is just an “eyewash”.

Nitin Gadkari, the BJP’s spokesperson, is talking sizes:

“Kalmadi is a very small thing. He had a limited role of deciding the expenditure of just Rs.1,400 crore for the Commonwealth Games...Prime Minister Manmohan Singh must answer as to why only he (Kalmadi) was arrested when every file related to the CWG had signatures of a Group of Ministers (GoM), cabinet sub-committee, expenditure finance committee, Delhi chief minister and Prime Minister's Office ( PMO ). All those involved in the Rs.70,000 crore scam should be arrested.”

So, why was everyone barking out only Kalmadi’s name or “thing” all this while? He says he has proof:

“They can file a defamation suit against me if they believe I am making false statements.”

Looks like everyone wants to go to jail these days – whether it is on graft charges or defamation.

The real issue, not just for the Opposition parties (hardly clean themselves) but of certain members of civil society too who are suddenly talking the rightwing lingo, is the Congress. The CWG scam is huge, but how can everyone be arrested? Should the prime minister resign? What do resignations achieve? Kalmadi’s arrest is a big step because he did benefit, he was the one who was dealing with the agencies. Was he a front? Partly. But that is politics. In any field.

It is time, in fact, to ensure that politicians stay out of such sports events. Throw out all those running the major sports organisations and bring in former players, though they too have ulterior motives, especially if they are in prominent fields like cricket or tennis. Yet, at least they will be a tad better than politicians.

The other parties are only gearing for elections. That is all. Here is Gadkari:

“The Congress party has also not taken any significant steps to curb terrorism.”

I wish these politicians stuck to an issue and took it to its logical conclusion, instead of such diversions. Or is their concern mere ‘eyewash’ too?

Squeaking about clean

I am charmed by Lalit Bhanot, the secretary general of the Commonwealth Games Organising Committee. The fact that the facilities are unhygienic and he deems it as a difference in perception of standards of hygiene reveals a truth that we and the rest of the world refuses to accept.

It could be a nice cocoon within the complex, but does it change the way Indians perceive hygiene? Have you used toilets in public places? Haven’t you seen the manner in which people defecate and urinate in the streets? Before screwing up your noses, and we do that, let us remember that these people have no choice. Let us also try and look back at our ‘lesser’ athletes who have to make do with very basic facilities. Let us recall the times we have glorified this excreta and let the westerners make millions of dollars over the dump.

One is not pro-dirt. Bhanot has not ‘shamed India’ as the headlines claim. We need to see how we shame ourselves and our citizens everyday. If some countries want to bring their own janitors, then they might as well bring their mosquito nets and Evian bottles too.

It seems that they are deliberately showing these aspects much as the fear created over security. Why would our authorities let them take these pictures? And how do we know for certain what these particular photos are from and about? Something stinks here and it is not the poop.

Those who have travelled overseas do know that the quick-fix fragrance and automatic flush stuff is not always about cleanliness. Loos there have sanitary napkins and toilet rolls on the floor; the seats often have menstrual stains. We all know about the legendary lack of male aim, and it is universal. Garbage bins overflow and are collected weekly as they wait in the backyards of those who can afford backyards. People do pee against bushes. And where do you think the homless go to clean up?

There appears to be less dust due to the climate, but there is enough of it going around. Mouldy foodstuff is pushed into a microwave to come out as good as new. Yes, Indians spit, but if you have seen any Phil Donahue show or read some silly stuff about Hollywood starlets and models you will know that their natural resources are expended in quite public a fashion. I know of women unable to control their bladders who have sat nonchalantly on pub stools as their stockings got drenched. But, the weather’s so chippy nippy that it dries and their glasses of ale warm them up so.

Of course, it’s all nice and clean at Flushing Meadows and Wimbledon and the World Cup and other events because the guys who mess up in the locker rooms are the guys who win the medals. So, no one complains because no one talks about it.

Get over it, people. Cricketers rub their balls against their balls and footballers spit on the grounds; tennis players lick their sweaty upper lips and athletes fart in their shorts. And people will pay money to wear, touch these items of clothing. Go clean up your minds first, then we can talk about how prepared we are.

Are our players ready to run, pole-vault and stand tall? Ask that question and let the drains choke to death.

Premji and Aiyer can go take a walk…

…or a sprint

It is becoming increasingly clear that while the Commonwealth Games are rife with corruption, I am not quite certain what the ‘concerned' people are barfing about. Some of it I discussed in Play it again, scam.

Today, Azim Premji was interviewed on the subject. Why Premji, chairman of Wipro, the computer etc manufacturers? As a citizen, he has every right to question the nasty deals. But he has not done that. He is complaining about money spent on infrastructure for the CWG, yet he forgets the same is done when some middling leader from the West arrives here. Besides, why this balancing act of ifs and buts?

Here:

“The Commonwealth Games, like the Olympics, are a celebration of the human spirit of excellence. Therefore, in itself, the Games are a worthy endeavour.

However, given the thousands of crores being spent on the Delhi Commonwealth Games, we need to ask if this is money spent wisely. As a country, we are constantly forced to compromise on funds. For instance, India needs more schools, and the existing schools need better infrastructure and more teachers….

How can we forget that for Rs 28,000 crore we could have established primary schools and health centres in tens of thousands of villages? Can we ignore this splurge the next time a malnourished child looks at us in the eye?”

How many malnourished children look us in the eye? If the Games are a worthy endeavour, then why is he diverting the issue to other aspects? Does he ask the same eye-popping questions when five-star hotels are built, new industries come up, and villages are wiped out to make way for factories? These are private enterprises – does that make them immune to accountability? And, they do need to get governmental approval. Ever heard Premji come down on these and discuss schools and healthcare?

“The capital already boasts of some of India’s best infrastructure. Instead of spending crores to widen Delhi’s roads, should we not prioritize building roads and schools in Bihar where none exist in the first place?”

I think Bihar’s CM Nitish Kumar will want to do a double-take on this. The places Azim Premji has visited in Delhi may have the best infrastructure, but has he been to Yamuna ke uss paar…the other side? Instead of rubbishing Bihar, he might like to check out the level of poverty in Delhi. Only because it is the capital does not mean the ordinary citizen gets the benefits.

“At times like these, it will serve our leaders well to recall Gandhiji’s talisman: ‘Recall the face of the poorest and the weakest man whom you may have seen, and ask yourself if the step you contemplate is going to be of any use to him. Will he gain anything by it? Will it restore him to a control over his own life and destiny? In other words, will it lead to Swaraj for the hungry and spiritually starving millions?’”

I assume Mr. Azim Premji’s computers will wipe out illiteracy and give the poor control over their lives.

As a related aside, has he asked our prime minister* how the nuclear deal will not help the poor?

- - -

This brings us to Mani Shankar Aiyer who is on a roll, thanks to the CWG. This is from a report where he:

…questioned the rationale of Delhi hosting the event and said it would have been a “very good answer” to insurgents if it would have been held in Manipur.

This is not even smart; it is idiotic. It is the people of Manipur who have to be given an answer by his government, a political answer. Where was he when the National Highway was closed and provisions could not reach the people? This sort of muscle-flexing does not make sense if you know that the insurgents are fighting several elements within and outside.

He wants to play games with them, then he can go there and have a chat and a friendly match of some kind. Why is he giving a lecture to Delhi University students about it? Talk to the Manipuris, ask them if they would have liked a little infrastructure, some beautified roads. whitewashed buildings, new stadia, potted plants, lots of toilet paper. And, yes, he can revert to his bosses in New Delhi, who still keep him in business, and check whether they can provide the requisite security to the players, the visitors and sports enthusiasts.

Aiyer wondered why such mega events come back to Delhi again and again. Even if it is organised here, he asked, why localities on the outskirts like Bawana are ignored.

Where is Bawana? Does Azim Premji know about it? And why is Aiyer so attached to it all of a sudden? Does Bawana have the space? Would it provide for the needs of such competitive sports? Why has his government not done anything for Bawana?

To show just how he means business, he poses a challenge:

“There are 37 days to go in which the government has to fill the gaps to ensure a spectacular Games which it has promised us. I am content to wait. The Games will last for 15 days. I will come back. Neither are you going away nor I am going away.”

He had promised to “get the hell out of” the city. I hope he goes to a place where he has a huge TV screen and can watch the games. If we know a little about him and about our media, then be sure there will be a satellite link conveniently connected to him for his sound bites. He will be on call 24/7 just to tell the world that it has been a useless exercise.

I hope that before leaving he ensures that the residents of Bawana have dish TV so that they can welcome him when he decides to move residence there to show his allegiance to lesser souls. We aren’t going anywhere, Mr. Aiyer, but we assume you will not let us down. Go, Bawana, go!


End note:

Did TOI have to mention in the headline: ‘I am not a US stooge, says PM’? Did he use those words? Manmohan Singh used the passive voice for the important part.

*“To say that this has been brought to promote American interests, to promote American corporations, I think, this is far from the truth. I beg of this House to pass this bill with unanimity.”

Having said this, it is truly unfortunate that he has to stoop in Parliament before colleagues, that too for a bad deal.

Condoms at the Commonwealth Games

Promoting promiscuity
by Farzana Versey

The Indian government is prepared. It is providing 150 vending machines at the Commonwealth Games (CWG) village from where athletes will be able to purchase condoms. Will this promote prostitution? Our former sports minister, Mani Shankar Aiyer, thinks so...

Objecting to contraception at the venue will not stop prostitution.

-->

Full column at Express Tribune:

http://tribune.com.pk/story/42170/promoting-promiscuity/

Play it again, scam

Play It Again, Scam
by Farzana Versey
Countercurrents, August 8

Our favourite sport – corruption – has once again taken centre-stage. Instead of kicking ball, there is talk of kickbacks. Had there been no whistle-blower, no one would know about the expensive pots and pans. We are still giving those embroiled in the Commonwealth Games controversies airtime to clear the air.

Is there a reason for it? Is it about national pride? Or is it one more smart strategy where the media that exposes the scandal cannot afford to miss out on the goodies of advertisements as well as telecast rights and sound bytes?

A couple of days ago there were huge advertisements in the newspapers titled ‘Commonwealth Games Emotional Appeal’. It was signed by ‘A Humble Citizen’, the head of the Sahara Group, Subrata Roy. I could well imagine how many Indians reading it must have had tears brimming over.

India has hosted several events in the past, sporting or otherwise. Not all have gone off without glitches. Even without the controversy over underhand deals, we are not quite prepared. Therefore, the manner in which the issue is being raised by a group of elite citizens has little to do with ‘pride’. What is there to be proud about hosting the games? It is done by rotation and whoever bids, gets to do so. It isn’t that the whole world is looking at us with sudden “respect and hope” and it most certainly has nothing to do with “our recent economic growth”.

This is the fantasy of the millionaires. The economic growth has not reached most citizens. In fact, humble sportspersons have to make do with filthy hostel rooms, inadequate practice, slimy food and sexual harassment. Is this our “rich heritage”?

The media has indeed given a great deal of time and space to the scams but that too is to grab eyeballs. Mr. Roy writes, “Due to this continuous and extensively negative coverage, we are creating a withdrawal feeling in thousands of organizers, 23000 volunteers, who are feeling totally demoralized and dejected. This would totally mar the successful conduct of the Commonwealth Games and give a bad image to our beloved country for all times to come.”

While sports are an important part of building the morale of teams and individual players, we have the hierarchy of different games and different sportspersons in place. It is this class system that gives us a bad name for we may flaunt the heroes in our endorsements, but the world is interested in what it will get out of it.

Why the world, is it not true that certain individuals, including Mr. Roy, are directly involved in sports franchises and bidding for foreign ones and could therefore be more concerned about their own image and well-being? Does Mr. Roy not have a stake in IPL and is he not eyeing Liverpool?

Unfortunately, the emotional appeal can have a counter-negative rather than a positive effect on the gullible middle-class that is made to believe that their nationalism rides on hosting a sporting event. It is grandiose efforts that make us believe we are global citizens. Indians are supposed to wake up to their Indianness when foreign dignitaries visit and miraculously roads are cleaned, plants dot the cavalcade location, buildings get a fresh coat of paint, linen is laundered and even the poor are dressed in colourful gear to give them a taste of our heritage.

China put out all stops for the Olympics not because it wanted to impress the world, but because it wanted to assert its power. We still suffer from a slave mentality. What will they think of us, is always a bother. There is never any consideration as to what we think of ourselves and how we treat those with less than what we have.

There have been several scandals before too, including match-fixing deals and doping. No emotional appeal was made then.

It is rather shocking that Mr. Roy feels “the culprits most definitely need to be punished with all their misdeeds thoroughly investigated and all sorts of checks and audits duly conducted by going deep into the matters related to purchase, negotiations & payments etc. But if should all be done after our country's greatest ever sporting event is over. Of course, all the culprits should be severely punished, thereafter”.

This is a classic way of pushing the dirt under the carpet. These culprits will be officially in charge of welcoming visitors, especially dignitaries. They will be the visible face of India, all over the international media. If we know from experience, they will be in the front rows, their relatives, friends and business interest groups will get VIP passes and sit in VIP enclaves.

If, as is suggested, we can still manage to make a success of the games, then there will not be many people to question them. For, it is these mavens who will flash it as a badge of their achievement. It is interesting that in this whole advertised public letter there is just one reference to the players who will be on the field. Clearly, they matter little.

Emotions ride high on the hot air of national pride and these days such pride is inexorably linked with those who can afford cheer-leaders. Humble citizens don’t come cheap.

- - -

This is the image of the ad:

Comedy of 'menners'

Every once in a while we are introduced to a new species of male. It gives us women something to look forward to, at least theoretically. In practical terms it is the same old caveman in different togs.

So, when I read about how the Alpha male is turning into the Omega man, it sounded Greek to me. But it crosses cultures. This character sleeps in late, lives with his parents, does not bring home the moolah every month, but is happy. Happiness means:

On a typical day, he wears tatty clothes, plays computer games and “works on his music”. He does his washing and cooks his meals, and is usually single.

Why this obsession with types of men? Earlier we had the metrosexual guy who shaved every part of his body that had hair; for some weird reason that also made him sensitive. I guess it’s because of the razor.

Then we have nice guys who are not rakes; they help with cooking, cleaning and occasionally even making love. Nice.

Between the Bad and the Good, there is a wide range and women are left wondering at the amazing array that is on offer. Sometimes, we get so lucky that we can even take one ‘on approval’ basis, test a sampling and then return to the shelf.

Why am I pissed off, then? Because it is all about men. I am an Omega woman – I lounge in tatty clothes, I don’t play computer games, but I potter around trying to create designs, I sing into the microphone and have been ‘working on music’ by creating tunes for my cell phone, I don’t even cook, but for the occasional tossing and turning of things in the pan; I do a bit of cleaning; I am single.

I am mostly happy – with myself. That is darn Omega. Here comes a small problem. I also am focused about what comes after the doodle; the times I write I am committed to deadlines that I love meeting; I have an opinion and it comes on strong; I have a keen sense of dress that I put to use when I want to; I like to get the best for myself. That makes me Alpha.

There must be many women who have qualities of both but no one discusses us. No one is interested in whether we shave or not, whether we are working on music or creating noise, and if we are not dressed up it is assumed to be because we are supposed to be wearing aprons, even if nothing else to go with it.

I am not getting into a gender war simply because there is a bunch of guys out there trying so hard to give us a choice when we know already that beneath the ho-hum of variety all we hope to find is a man who can light a fire and watch candle-wax melt. And he can do it in Greek if he wants to.

- - -

I have no problem with football. Men need something to kick around. However, this silly obsession of the Indian media and therefore the public is unfathomable. We are not playing in the World Cup. Do you hear me?

No! I know that football is played in this country but, except for Kolkatans and their Mohan Bagan and Mohammedan Sporting, no one gives a damn about these teams. Yet, when some Messi starts messing and Ronaldo goes rolling, you hear the same old screams. The build-up started early and everyone from Bollywood actors to other sports stars to industrialists was asked about their favourites.

It is quite amusing to see some of them plan parties or decide to gather at a bar or coffee shop at a fancy hotel where large screens show the men in action. It has become a huge business. I once had the horrible experience of going out with some people visiting from overseas; we got a table quite close to this mammoth television. No conversation was possible and even worse we had to watch the idiotic women in the ‘fan’ groups letting out little screeches of delight holding their glasses of strawberry daiquiris. They were not there for the sport; they were there to hang on to the men they accompanied or who happened to be around.

All of these men come dressed in Friday clothes, and that becomes occasion for the Page 3 photographers to capture them at their casual best, never mind that they are very carefully casual.

I am rooting for the little boys who will be kicking a large rubber ball in the puddles of my city now that monsoon is here.

- - -

End note:

Did this blog not talk about ads using bushmen? So, today on the Ideas page in a slot called Snap Judgement, we had this picture and writeup:

In Poor Taste

It is disgraceful that some TV commercials with racist undertones have recently surfaced. The advertisements in question poke fun at African people, who are depicted as backward. Humour cannot be a defence for racism. Our ad-makers would do well to steer clear of such politically incorrect commentary and give vent to their creativity in a more responsible manner.

Yes, of course. But the Times of India did not take names. Because if it did, then how will their Response Departments go soliciting ads, how will their TV channel air those ads and how will stories connected to such ads be woven around the consumer ideal?

This is not restricted to one media group, I might add.

The Queen, Brothels and Commonwealth Games

Isn’t it time we stopped the Commonwealth Games? Participants are countries that once were colonies of the British. We are now independent nations. Sports of any kind do not depend on old laws and aspects that hark back to the days and ways of yonder.

You might wonder why we play games that we inherited from the Brits. Then, we can go splitting hairs over several other things. Here, nomenclature reveals a form of slavery.

And the Queen of England has been inaugurating it for 44 years. This time, she won’t attend. She is busy, which should give us an opportunity not to be lazy about the monarchy and its role in our lives and our public image. Instead, we are seeing it as a “departure from tradition”. She is sending Prince Charles as her emissary to read out a message to the athletes during the opening ceremony. Prince Edward is the Vice Patron of the Commonwealth Games Federation, so he will be attending.

For a few months now one had been reading reports about how our home minister has been urging officials to pull all stops and see to it that the roads leading to the venues are in perfect shape; it is a good thing but he has talked about making a good impression to the world.

Obviously, we as citizens do not deserve these facilities.

In a related report, brothels in Delhi’s red-light area are being given a makeover and the residents are being given English lessons, as though they will be asked to have conversations.

Besides the fancy tiles, split ACs, refrigerators and LCD TVs have appeared as the latest additions in these brothels, which too hope to benefit from the Games extravaganza. While the owners themselves provide most of the money, funds have also come from National Network for Sex Workers, which is funded by the Ford Foundation. Apart from renovating the brothels, non-voluntary organisations are also focusing on health and hygiene of the workers.

It is sad that it takes an international event to motivate not just government officials but NGOs too. Should not hygiene and health be priorities every day, especially in professions that are vulnerable most?

Business does increase considerably on such occasions, be it sports or political meets, but this really is playing up sex tourism.

End note:

LCD TVs in brothels? Will they be watching the games there?

It's just not cricket

So M.S.Dhoni blames the T 20 fiasco on exhaustion and partying and everyone starts talking about how cricket is supreme and these excuses won’t do.

I don’t care whether Dhoni is making excuses or not. It has once again brought to the forefront the nature of the sport. Dhoni is right when he says:

“The IPL is not just about cricket. There are lots of things going around it. The players must be smart about it. They have to respect the body, give it some time to recover because it’s not just about playing. There have been day-night matches, then parties, and then early morning flights too. All this, including the travel, takes a toll. But if you are smart, I don’t think 45 days of cricket will drain you.”

The last sentence does not seem to have registered. He is trying to say something. There has always been infighting and one-upmanship. Now with IPL there are external factors too. Dhoni is as much a part of the satellite stunts. How well you are dressed, what haircut you get, the company you keep all have become more important than the scores. After all, they are now auctioned items.



The organisations capitalise on this aspect and make the players play other games after they have done their stint on the field. And why would any hot-blooded young player give up the opportunity to be seen at the right places when that is what helps in the selection process? Come on, you have to know the right head honchos.

And those who are getting all righteous about it are not players. What games has Rajiv Shukla played besides politics? Suresh Kalmadi? M.S. Gill? They have stuck to their positions as chiefs of various bodies without ever representing the country or even their mohalla. Jagmohan Dalmiya was a Kolkata businessman and he managed to virtually rule the roost.

Forget treating contemporary cricket as some holy cow. It is just another poodle with fancy trappings added to it.

The high point in recent days was that Sachin Tendulkar had finally signed into Twitter and within hours managed to get a whole bunch of followers. It was crazy how starlets went on about how he should exceed the following of Ashton Kutcher, who I believe has the largest following thanks I guess to the updates he provides on his wife Demi Moore. We even had an old friend telling the media about how he convinced Sachin to sign up. Now there will be newspaper columns about his tweets and when he slept and what he thinks, which is a nice human touch, but it is not national news.

Therefore, Dhoni’s comments are far more relevant. Sachin would not have said it. The good guys do finish first in some areas. And, hello, why is Mohammed Azharuddin railing about Dhoni’s excuse and saying that players can refuse to party? Right.

I’d like to pull up all our tainted players and ask them why they did not refuse those underhand betting deals.

In our country we are bad losers, but this time that is not the concern. It has stopped being a concern for a while now. People are sharp and they know that this is like a dumb film they can watch in an auditorium to get some cool air-conditioning. It does not even qualify as a peanut gallery anymore.

Cricket for Hockey

The stadium is empty. He sits on a bench. He won’t play. But he will cheer. He will paint his face with the tricolour. He will root for our team. He is plugging hockey. He is a cricketer.

Virendra Sehwag has been roped in to promote World Cup Hockey 2010, starting February 28. I find it hugely insulting.

I keep reading about lost past glory. What past glory does cricket have?

The major advantage, at the basic level, is that there is something like gully cricket; there is no gully hockey. It is a stadium game and needs to be treated as such.

Hockey is mired in as many controversies as the cricket organisations, but it does not have sponsors. It is a vicious circle. Someone has to start getting people interested. I am not holding a flag for it as a national game, but we have to respect the fact that it was hockey that brought us glory. It is a sport that is played internationally, too.

A film like Chak De was almost like a concession to it.

Virendra Sehwag in the ad gets attention for himself and the sport he plays. No one is interested in whether he is going to watch hockey or kabbaddi.

Let us buy Imran Khan

Every new “twist” in the IPL tale would be yawn-producing had it not been full of lies. Some West Indies cricketer suddenly needs surgery, so now we can get Pakistani bowler Abdul Razzaq. Everyone thinks it is ok. No security issues. Nothing.

I think if there are people in this country and in Pakistan who really believe that throwing balls and hitting bouncers is going to result in peace, then the man to buy is Imran Khan.

We are always worried about the Taliban, right? He is our man. He can talk to them. The moment he plays a few ‘peacing’ matches – and he will invest all that money in his cancer hospital, too – the good Talibs will shoo away the bad Talibs. Now that America too is willing to talk to them, it will be all good.

Imran Khan does not have a chance in hell, or heaven, to lead his country politically. He can try this out. Sold-out matches and the only Talibs who will be at our border would be those sending SMS messages for some competition or the other that is taking place. We will make more money; they will make more money. Who knows, Asif Ali Zardari, who has a fan following in Bradford, may even ask some Pakistanis to return home and sneak out for some much-needed rest and join Sarah Palin on a foxy talk show. Pakistanis will be relieved. India will be happy to play Big Bro once again.

And, yes, Parmeshwar Godrej’s swimming pool will be waiting to cool off Imran Khan. Remember he had asked on the earlier occasion that India should help Pakistani democracy?

Don’t ever call me a cynic again. I have given my thoughts on how to make piss.

From no conspiracy to shoo

“There is no conspiracy theory that is going on — as is being reported in media. The media is biased at times. The media is responsible (for the Pak-players fiasco). The media doesn’t want to report on things that should matter. The media only wants to sensationalise.”
– Lalit Modi, chairman of BCCI’s IPL subcommittee

“The reasons for dropping (Pakistanis) were understandable in the current scenario. The franchisees couldn’t provide for the security of the Pakistani players and hence decided against bidding for them in the auction.”
- Shilpa Shetty, Rajasthan Royals co-owner

“Pakistan needs to think why it has not been able to create the conditions that can convince people here that it is serious about bringing to book the 26/11 plotters."
- the Congress asking for some introspection on why its cricketers were shunned

Two days ago everyone was singing a different tune. The question of availability of cricketers is not the same as our inability to provide them with security. The media might have gone into overdrive, but when it suits the IPL they want the same over-the-top reportage. Remember the cheerleaders?

Interestingly enough, news reports tell us that the Congress and the BJP “unite” on this issue. This isn’t about unity, but riding on the bandwagon.

The Pakistanis are responding with equal fervour. I say, if there is a problem that they are being sidelined, they should ask Wasim Akram to resign as coach immediately.

Now, let me tackle our government’s statement.

Who are the people that need to be convinced? The IPL franchisees? Do all of them think alike? The cricket-crazy public who would have liked to see the Pakistanis play?

The GOI has latched on to an issue that it said it had nothing to do with and connected it with the 26/11 attacks. How is Pakistan to convey seriousness if just suppose it is not serious? And if it is not serious, then it is for us to introspect since they are clear about it.

Incidentally, if someone has murdered do you expect him to prove that he has killed? Isn't the onus on the victim’s family to stand as witness and the police to look for clues? Why would Pakistan bring to book the plotters? I am afraid, it sounds stupid.

We can ask them to stop infiltrating, we can discuss terrorism, but to try a specific crime that is committed on our soil? This is like asking dacoits to surrender or criminals to confess. Given that we have Ajmal Kasab in our prison and a cop has mentioned how he spoke to one of the handlers posing as a waiter, are we not upto the task?

Abida Parveen for IPL!

While Abida Parveen shared stage space with Shubha Mudgal, no one was willing to pay a paisa for Pakistani cricketers. Moral of the story: You want a quickie evening shindig, then fine. If it has to do with money and no halo of ‘we are one’, then forget it.

To cheez badi hai mast...dust?

The excuses dished out for no owner in the Indian Premier League (IPL) III bidding for a Pakistani player are ludicrous. The considerations were that the players should be available for the entire season. Did any of the Pakistani players clearly state that they would not? Don’t they sign some contract? What if any of the picked up cricketers perform poorly or are injured or threatened, then would they be still considered available? Kolkata Knight Riders bowling coach Wasim Akram wanted Mohammed Aamer. No go. This means that people who understand the game are not the deciding factors.

It is a clear signal that the Indian government has interfered. If a team says that it did not have any Pakistani players in the past two IPLs, they were just smart enough to read the mind of the Indian government or be on the side of the establishment. You might wonder how that could be the case when we do have regular matches. That is different. It is two nations schmoozing; it is not about wow, let’s do peace. This is about bidding. It has its own dynamics. It means someone is worth something; the monetary part is based to a large extent on talent and ability to perform.

Pakistan are the T-20 champions, and there could not have been a better way to put them down than this. It is like, look guys you might be the winners, but you amount to jackshit in our stakes. You don’t even go under the hammer. This was clearly decided prior to the auction, for if they knew about non-availability they would not even be considered.

It also conveys to the Indian government that the franchisees are very understanding of the real relations between the two countries and will not do any mollycoddling. This is not done for the sake of the team but to send the right message to the relevant ministries (industries, petroleum, information and broadcasting) that, boss, keep us in mind in future. Money is at stake in ways other than on the cricket field.

As regards security concerns, there is nothing new. Remember the Shiv Sena destroying the pitches and warning against playing with Pakistan? Remember that it did not stop cricket matches and we did our friendly act in Lahore and Chennai as a cover-up for the ingrained animosity?

Some reports have mentioned about how demoralised the Pakistani cricket team is. Don’t know about that, and it ought not to be the case given that they know the undercurrents. Shahid Afridi said:

“Cricket is like religion in India and Pakistan. Sport is the only way to bring both the countries together. It is disappointing.”

This is competition and no one is bringing the two countries together. Cricket ceased doing that long ago.