I had to get rid of the white fluffy cat. I had placed it on the arm-rest of the sofa and I would run my hand over it, often absent-mindedly. It was a soft toy and it played its role well. I had not felt like discarding it despite having outgrown its reason for being with me.
Why was it with me? It was given with generosity and accepted with grace.
I respected that.
It did not obsess over me. After all, it had been a long time. I wonder why people don't get on with life and move on.
That cat seemed to possess the maturity. It would of course sometimes not stay in place, and that was fine.
That day, however, as I lay my arm on it I felt itchy. I moved it away to see that my skin had pink lines, almost like claw marks. It was eerie. Then I saw a few black-brown dots in the fur. I pulled them apart and there were more...they were moving. Some creepy-crawlies had managed to get in there, perhaps during some fumigation that had been going on.
I pulled out a big garbage bag and dumped the cat in. And just to keep things equal, I dumped all the soft toys. Yes, all. There was one old pathetic little monkey in a corner that I had forgotten about, so next day that one went too.
I usually feel a deep sense of loss and remorse over losing anything. This time, for some reason, there was the sense of having got rid of excess baggage. Some of those fluffy ones I had bought, some were given. I chose some, some chose me...
They stayed as long as they had to; they went when they had to. The thought of insects destroying both them and me was far more worrying.
No one saw those crawlies; I did. No one was bitten by them; I was. No one came out with marks on their skin; I did.
My truth is my story. For some people their stories become their truth.
Fiction based on experience and a touch of imagination is a wonderful thing...that which is propped up on a foundation of hallucinations can only make you build a world of mazes and dark alleys where you choose to walk in the hope of finding a lost cause.
A cat that was never alive cannot be killed...