No citizenship please, we're phirangs

Actress Katrina Kaif, supposedly the queen bee of Bollywood and one of the highest earners, is not an Indian national. And she does not even wish to be an Indian citizen.

Today’s TOI had an interesting report that talked about how most of the prominent people are on work permits. Some are earning in crores. What are the tax liabilities? Whenh they shoot overseas, don’t they need to get visas from their home country? Since most of them are from places that are exempt from many struictures, it might not pose a problem, but one wonders about the lenient policy of our government.

Yana and Katrina

Among those who have been staying in India and working on an employment visa include UK national and actress Katrina Kaif, US national Dipti Nawal, UK national Salma Agha and Yana Gupta from Czech Republic. “Most of the actors and other foreigners working in Bollywood prefer staying here on an employment visa. Sometimes they come asking for an extension in visa period. We consider whatever is correct as per the law,’’ said a police official from the immigration department.

Deepti Naval is not doing much work, perhaps out of choice. How does the employment visa apply to her? What is Salma Agha doing? Yana Gupta was married to an Indian, but it appears she chose an employment visa. She is a model. It is a freelance job as are films. What are the strictures for such cases where there is no employer and contracts can change with every assignment?

As per the bilateral treaty between India and the US on tourist visa, an American national can stay in India on a tourist visa for as long as 10 years and the same tenure is applicable for Indian citizens in America as well.

I think this is not correct. One can get a 10-year visa, but it is multiple entry. Indians can live there upto six months and then return.

Pakistani singer Adnan Sami is staying in Mumbai along with his German national wife.

Adnan and new wife

Adnan Sami and his wives at different times seem to get some special treatment. He is of Pakistani origin; his ex-wife was from the UAE; his current wife is half-Afghan. He works here, buys properties, fights divorce cases here, buys dogs, the spouse fights for custody of the dog. Great. And then Indians have the audacity to questions Muslims in their own country.

I could not resist that. The important point is none of these people want to become Indian citizens. It is not only those from the glamour world, though. I know people working in NGOs who do the same.

Do Indians get the same treatment abroad? No. If the UK and US are now worried about their jobs, then India isn’t really flush with employment vacancies that Indians cannot fill. It is pretty disgusting that even the dancers in the background in our films are now whites, and don’t tell me that our girls are shy. We have seen item numbers and know they can jiggle and wiggle and bare as much as anyone else.

And just in case you did not know, to counteract the policies of these countries and due to our foreign obsession some of our prominent Indians make sure that their offspring are born abroad so that they become naturalised citizens. These are people we respect as Indians. Go figure.

What's up, dork?

I prefer Woody Allen to George Clooney, but not because he would treat me like a babe in the geek-woods. I like the language – cinematic and verbal – that he employs. Clooney comes across as rather complacently confident.

While I am aware he won’t be devastated by this little snub and Allen is unlikely to be flattered, I am on the case of one more study that decides on the basis of what 3000 women say that women love guys who can fix things rather than those who spend hours at the gym.

Obviously, it is a partisan survey because it was conducted by the 24/7 technology support service Geek Squad. They say:

“These results will be a blow for the millions of men who workout in a bid to appear more attractive to the opposite sex.”

Most men are not working out to be more attractive to women but to compete with their peers. No one notices if James Bond is with dumbbells, but he exudes power and can also fix things. Yet, except for his rather unemotional alliances, he is more a man’s man.

The survey results state that women prefer a man who can help sort out the TV, stereo, and home computer. This makes quite a few of them feel cared for.

I find it rather chauvinistic, this aura of dependency. It ignores the fact that a woman can hire help for such tasks if they cannot fix things themselves. I admit I cannot, but when I give the gadget a nice male punch it often starts crackling back to life. However, there are women who can do such things with finesse and expertise.

It also belittles the male by slotting him as a mechanic. Fixing things might be skilled labour, but it does not denote intelligence as a natural consequence. And can a woman not feel cared for if a man just carries her shopping bags, has a few muscles, and woos her with limericks? Besides, a man who takes care of himself is not always about abs and biceps but just basic hygiene and neatness.

The dork who does not care if his toenails are fungus-ridden and smells of yesterday’s pizza crumbs would hardly convey the impression that he can care for anyone. Except perhaps that computer virus.

New York’s Muslims in danger?

Had no one decided on opening this Islamic Centre in Manhattan, a driver assaulted by a 21-year-old tipsy guy would have been just another crime. Not a hate crime. Is there anything like a love crime? Yes, of course, there are crimes of passion and we suddenly seem to have become a world desperately passionate about religions we know precious little about – our own or those of others.

Ahmed Sharif a Bangladeshi, was assaulted by Michael Enright. The newspaper versions interestingly add a twist here and a turn there, making them seem different from each other. Some say the attacker greeted the cabbie with an “Assalamalaikum” just as he entered; others say he uttered those words after verifying if he was a Muslim. Some say he cursed; others says he made jokes about Ramadan after asking Sharif how he was faring in the month of fasting. Some say Enright brought out a knife and slashed the cabbie’s throat and neck; some pictures show him with chest wounds. This was through the plastic partition that divides passenger and driver. Some say these are slashes; some quote doctors as saying that had it been an inch deeper he would have died.

It was not; he did not. But I can already see everyone jumping on the mosque at Ground Zero bandwagon.

The question is: why is every crime being connected to this Cordoba whatever that is to be built?

The driver says he was attacked because of his religion. It is possible, but it may not be. Worse, he says or it is implied on his behalf that it is because of the controversy over this centre. Please, profiling has been going on since 9/11 and suspicions about different groups of people have been there always.

Mayor Michael Bloomberg felt it was necessary to comment and said:

"This attack runs counter to everything that New Yorkers believe, no matter what God we may pray to.” 

Why is the religion of the victim emphasised and not the attacker’s then? How does the mayor know what all New Yorkers believe? This incident did not take place at the site of the proposed building, so why is Mr. Bloomberg entering the fray? We know he thinks the Centre will bring about amity and all that but he does not have to use unrelated incidents to further his agenda.

This is a political issue but why politicise every act? Those opposing the structure have also got into the act. Republican mayoral candidate Carl Paladino’s spokesman, Michael Caputo, said:

"Violence in New York City is nothing new, no matter who stabs whom....Blaming the debate over whether there should be a mosque at Ground Zero for the violence in New York City is a simple-minded way to heat up the debate even more."

True. So, he should have kept silent. Most people should have. But it is too good an opportunity to pass up. Enright’s friends talk about how tolerant he was. Reports say the cabbie was against the centre. This is all just so very convenient. Never mind that.Now it is about Muslim cab drivers who have expressed nervousness, according to Bhairavi Desai, the director of the taxi drivers' alliance:

"In light of the Ground Zero mosque debate, 'Are you Muslim?' has taken on new meaning."

The cops did reach the site, Enright, who incidentally has had a little past of some violent behaviour and was booked for trespassing last year, is in custody without bail. Why rake it up? Perhaps in the course of that ride other crimes might have been committed in New York and no one even knows or cares.

As for hate crime, heck, if only minds could be taken into custody then there would be many, many more. So, it’s time to cut out the claptrap on all sides and not give religious identities to every darn thing.

Premji and Aiyer can go take a walk…

…or a sprint

It is becoming increasingly clear that while the Commonwealth Games are rife with corruption, I am not quite certain what the ‘concerned' people are barfing about. Some of it I discussed in Play it again, scam.

Today, Azim Premji was interviewed on the subject. Why Premji, chairman of Wipro, the computer etc manufacturers? As a citizen, he has every right to question the nasty deals. But he has not done that. He is complaining about money spent on infrastructure for the CWG, yet he forgets the same is done when some middling leader from the West arrives here. Besides, why this balancing act of ifs and buts?

Here:

“The Commonwealth Games, like the Olympics, are a celebration of the human spirit of excellence. Therefore, in itself, the Games are a worthy endeavour.

However, given the thousands of crores being spent on the Delhi Commonwealth Games, we need to ask if this is money spent wisely. As a country, we are constantly forced to compromise on funds. For instance, India needs more schools, and the existing schools need better infrastructure and more teachers….

How can we forget that for Rs 28,000 crore we could have established primary schools and health centres in tens of thousands of villages? Can we ignore this splurge the next time a malnourished child looks at us in the eye?”

How many malnourished children look us in the eye? If the Games are a worthy endeavour, then why is he diverting the issue to other aspects? Does he ask the same eye-popping questions when five-star hotels are built, new industries come up, and villages are wiped out to make way for factories? These are private enterprises – does that make them immune to accountability? And, they do need to get governmental approval. Ever heard Premji come down on these and discuss schools and healthcare?

“The capital already boasts of some of India’s best infrastructure. Instead of spending crores to widen Delhi’s roads, should we not prioritize building roads and schools in Bihar where none exist in the first place?”

I think Bihar’s CM Nitish Kumar will want to do a double-take on this. The places Azim Premji has visited in Delhi may have the best infrastructure, but has he been to Yamuna ke uss paar…the other side? Instead of rubbishing Bihar, he might like to check out the level of poverty in Delhi. Only because it is the capital does not mean the ordinary citizen gets the benefits.

“At times like these, it will serve our leaders well to recall Gandhiji’s talisman: ‘Recall the face of the poorest and the weakest man whom you may have seen, and ask yourself if the step you contemplate is going to be of any use to him. Will he gain anything by it? Will it restore him to a control over his own life and destiny? In other words, will it lead to Swaraj for the hungry and spiritually starving millions?’”

I assume Mr. Azim Premji’s computers will wipe out illiteracy and give the poor control over their lives.

As a related aside, has he asked our prime minister* how the nuclear deal will not help the poor?

- - -

This brings us to Mani Shankar Aiyer who is on a roll, thanks to the CWG. This is from a report where he:

…questioned the rationale of Delhi hosting the event and said it would have been a “very good answer” to insurgents if it would have been held in Manipur.

This is not even smart; it is idiotic. It is the people of Manipur who have to be given an answer by his government, a political answer. Where was he when the National Highway was closed and provisions could not reach the people? This sort of muscle-flexing does not make sense if you know that the insurgents are fighting several elements within and outside.

He wants to play games with them, then he can go there and have a chat and a friendly match of some kind. Why is he giving a lecture to Delhi University students about it? Talk to the Manipuris, ask them if they would have liked a little infrastructure, some beautified roads. whitewashed buildings, new stadia, potted plants, lots of toilet paper. And, yes, he can revert to his bosses in New Delhi, who still keep him in business, and check whether they can provide the requisite security to the players, the visitors and sports enthusiasts.

Aiyer wondered why such mega events come back to Delhi again and again. Even if it is organised here, he asked, why localities on the outskirts like Bawana are ignored.

Where is Bawana? Does Azim Premji know about it? And why is Aiyer so attached to it all of a sudden? Does Bawana have the space? Would it provide for the needs of such competitive sports? Why has his government not done anything for Bawana?

To show just how he means business, he poses a challenge:

“There are 37 days to go in which the government has to fill the gaps to ensure a spectacular Games which it has promised us. I am content to wait. The Games will last for 15 days. I will come back. Neither are you going away nor I am going away.”

He had promised to “get the hell out of” the city. I hope he goes to a place where he has a huge TV screen and can watch the games. If we know a little about him and about our media, then be sure there will be a satellite link conveniently connected to him for his sound bites. He will be on call 24/7 just to tell the world that it has been a useless exercise.

I hope that before leaving he ensures that the residents of Bawana have dish TV so that they can welcome him when he decides to move residence there to show his allegiance to lesser souls. We aren’t going anywhere, Mr. Aiyer, but we assume you will not let us down. Go, Bawana, go!


End note:

Did TOI have to mention in the headline: ‘I am not a US stooge, says PM’? Did he use those words? Manmohan Singh used the passive voice for the important part.

*“To say that this has been brought to promote American interests, to promote American corporations, I think, this is far from the truth. I beg of this House to pass this bill with unanimity.”

Having said this, it is truly unfortunate that he has to stoop in Parliament before colleagues, that too for a bad deal.

Iss se pehle ke hum bewafaa ho jaaye....

Two years ago he died on this day. Ahmed Faraz is known for a varied range of poetry. I have chosen this one for two reasons. One is personal. The lectern says 'Holiday Inn'. It was close to his office towards the end of his life, an office he was thrown out from. It was at Holiday Inn that he asked me to join him for lunch and I had to decline. Had to? Do you refuse Faraz? Let us just say I had committed to be elsewhere and I think he would have done the same. The other reason for putting up this video is because he says before reciting that things have not changed much in Pakistan. This was the poem that got him in trouble and he was imprisoned during General Zia ul Haq's regime.

There are a few people who you read and read about and then you meet and it is not the same. With him, his poetry was him and he was his poetry.

Ahmed Faraz reads 'Muhasara' - The Siege

Beyond Ayodhya's property dispute

What judgement can they pronounce on the Ayodhya case when it is now referred to as the “60-year-old Babri Masjid-Ramjanmabhoomi title suit”? 18 years ago it was just the Babri Masjid, a mosque that was demolished with the connivance of the political leaders. Just as it supposedly was several hundreds of years earlier by the Mughals. They were conquerors, as I have to point out each time I write about this. The people who called for its demolition in 1992 were our own politicians in our own democracy.

The judgement to be announced on September 6 will be about the piece of land. The media has one more topic to create fear and then try to assuage the dread. Since the Vishwa Hindu Parishad held a core meeting in July, some fellow from the Helal Committee and a tea stall owner, one Muslim, one Hindu (cute) are afraid because when that happened in 1992, there was also a four month gap. Are these guys calculators?

Then there are cops stationed outside and someone “lowers his voice” and says they were there the last time too! They have been there all these years, the site has been fenced. What do they expect? It has nothing to do with judgement day but the way things have been.

To make the event more interesting in what the TOI refers to as the ‘temple town’ – could someone tell me how many temples are there and how many are regularly visited as pilgrim sites? – we have the sadhus enter the fray:

Recently, Ayodhya woke up to another high drama—this time a non-stop recitation of Hanuman Chalisa, 11 times in 121 temples, to mark the official launch of the Hanumat Shakti Jagran Anushthan—a four-month long saffron jamboree to “awaken the somnolent Hindu pride”. “Lord Hanuman, say scriptures, needs to be reminded of his might now and then. He tends to be quite oblivious of his true potential,” says Mahant Nritya Gopal Das, the burly head of Ram Janmabhoomi Nyas.

Sitting in the Maniram Chhavni, a sprawling marble fortress amid a bevy of guntotting security men, the mahant insists it is purely an apolitical and religious affair. “We are seeking His intervention to rehabilitate Ramlalla, and no offence meant to anyone,” he said with a smile.

They have every right to do their recitation, but why does a man of god need gun-toting security men? How is it apolitical when the idea is to rehabilitate the idol, which was a political act? Is Hindu pride dependant on such recitations and how will it get awakened? Why does Lord Hanuman have to be reminded of his might now? And why does he have to intervene when the case is in the courts and there is no Sita to be saved, for the marauders were the ones using the name of Hanuman’s hero, Ram?

Whatever the court verdict, and I hope politicians stay out of it and not make political capital, it will help the vote banking parties, and they run across the spectrum. I am not particularly concerned about who gets the property. And I hope Muslims just accept the judgement on it. The mosque has gone.

However, no Indian citizen should permit anyone to take charge of the site until those who were responsible for the demolition and the engineered riots and deaths are punished. Not a single individual must go scot-free. Not the cops, not the politicians, not the bureaucrats, not the religious leaders, not the lumpen elements who can be identified.

And make sure that the compensation monies are paid with interest for all these years when people have been at the mercy of the Establishment. This was not separatists; they were people who get elected and who in fact came to power after this. They are paid to look after our interest and to protect every citizen. If citizens commit any crime, there is a judicial process where they must be tried.

Just in case these leaders forget, they happen to be citizens of India too and they darn well be treated like us.

Condoms at the Commonwealth Games

Promoting promiscuity
by Farzana Versey

The Indian government is prepared. It is providing 150 vending machines at the Commonwealth Games (CWG) village from where athletes will be able to purchase condoms. Will this promote prostitution? Our former sports minister, Mani Shankar Aiyer, thinks so...

Objecting to contraception at the venue will not stop prostitution.

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Full column at Express Tribune:

http://tribune.com.pk/story/42170/promoting-promiscuity/