Caught in the Net

There has been a complaint. I am told I am being unfair for deleting those posts.

How fair is it to post nasty stuff on what is most often one’s personal journey?

How fair is it to go through extreme reactions, all about one blog post?

How fair is it to taunt other commentators?

How fair is it to go on another forum and rubbish me and those who respond to me as my “suitors” who pick up my handkerchief that I have been blowing my nose into? (This rubbishing is not restricted to one person, incidentally.)

How fair is it to not follow basic norms of decent behaviour towards one who has nothing to do with you and is not infringing on your territory?

How fair is it to let yourself become a part of the most juvenile canard being spread when you know nothing?

How fair is it to abuse trust and then hit out because public visibility is more important than a private assurance?

How fair is it to talk about respect and then use the foulest insults against that same person?

If anyone has the answers and thinks I am being unfair after all this, do let me know.

I have faced enough and more of my share of criticism for my views, and have dealt with them with utmost dignity, without compromising on my position. Yes, I am proud of that. But please do not start such futile and puerile ‘discussions’ here.

This isn’t such a forum. This is my home. If you knock on my door I do not expect chocolates and flowers, though they are lovely, but I will not accept anyone walking in with muddied shoes and then trying to throw that muck on me.

And all this for what?

I might add, it isn't against the male gender. I am much amused by a certain female who has been talking about taking abusive men to school. She is being applauded for it. She, who has been amongst the worst possible abusers of men and women. She, who posted personal details about another woman now mentions that woman as one of the people she would like to meet in real life! Ho-hum...

Such is the way things work in this cyber world. But there is hope. There are those who have been working and watching. When I put an acquaintance in touch with some of the stuff on desi websites (she is English), she was shocked. Even more shocked when I mentioned the 'professional' qualifications of some such people.

Let me make it clear: those of you who are sneaking in here with praise and doing your backbiting bit elsewhere have been noticed and marked.


  1. I come from Punk Rock .....So I really dont give two hoots about what people think. Dogs may bark, but the caravan (or your blog) should move on.

  2. Farzana

    Do what you must.

    There are people like me who never knew you existed. If you remember I had told you I found your Blog as an accident. I was visiting the Chowk one day to read what the Pakistanis youth were writing about our cricket players. Always fun to read that stuff ...he he he he

    Since then I have regularly read the column and like it. Some of the things far beyond my little brain... so much so that I feel embarrassed to even comment. Kuch samajh mein nahi ata hai.

    Coming to the point, I used to wait for other comments to come in and see how the world was relating to what you wrote and used to like it as much as I liked your posts.

    But this particular person who has been troubling you should not be doing what bothers you. Aisa lagta hai ki Cinema Hall mein koi duffer commentry kar raha hai.

    Had it been my Blog, I would have done the same. Rather, I would have asked the guy to come down at my small home and would have invited all my other friends as well.

    Bas fir dekhta maza... “dishum dishum”

    dam kitna hai chahne walon mein pata chal jata ik baar.

  3. Usama:

    It's gone beyond punk and rock and roll...


    Be sue this comment of your will be used, abused, misused...you will be called my lapdog and worse...I could call all my friends to my home and the offender and offer him a drink. If he thinks he is Socrates, then hemlock it will be...

    Am glad you were not aware of my existence. Makes me feel reborn:-)
    - - -

    There is a post I refuse to carry, not by that individual, but someone who has dissed the website. I will not throw the baby out with the bathwater. Besides, someone has accused them of bias and for "hating people who hate me". Shiit...sounds so adolescent. Am not playing ball. Sorry, as much as I like you who sent the comment. You obviously know what is happening, so you know what I am talking about.

  4. "hum tau kuch keh bhi nahin sakte" to quote from an old Pakistani film. jo kehna tha, sab ne keh diya. mujh se behtar. . .

  5. Farzana
    May I ask you why you did not approve my prior post on this blog?

    I understand UR the owner of this blog.
    If U do not wish me to post my comments on your blog. That is totally acceptable.


  6. O no problem about the brickbats Farzana. I know the types:

    "Na shamshir uthe.. na talwar inse..
    Ye bazoo mere aajmaye huye hain"

    Wish you a pleasant day ahead!

  7. Circle:

    I did not reveal your identity, though I did want you to know that I was not posting. But since you have sent so many posts later, I assumed you did not mind it.

    I did not approve for the reason I have already stated. I did not know you knew that website and had such strong feelings. Therefore, since you are so well-acquainted, I am aware they have space for people to express themselves. This is not the place to diss it. And while you are there you might like checking out a thread by someone who had left the website when I did, returned much later, got friendly with some 'characters', then again began to praise me and has now started talking against me...all for no reason at all and without provocation. If someone you trust, even as an anon, can do this then you can well imagine how I must feel.

    Here is the comment made there (I have deleted the name of the individual and website):

    “X has had been abusing farzana versey a lot and that's the main reason they (the website) dislike this abusive sissy.

    You got to understand this that (the website) staff is also very biased and a bunch of sissies who don't care,if other females (here) are being abused, they only wake up when either their sisters or their editor in chief is being abused.

    Other ladies who come (here) and get abuse in return are just fun for (them).

    And to tell you the truth, sometimes, (they themselves) starts abusing (website) ladies.”

    FV, as in I, am not there as editor for the past one year. Why can these people not get over me? Do not forget when I was cleaning up the place, I was accused of bias; now when they clean up it is FOR me. wah, wah...

    As for those 'ladies', calling men 'namards' is their claim to feminism; calling women who do not play their game is their version of being let down. One of them had the audacity to ask me how I felt being called names by a certain male, whose posts I am deleting from here. This woman who has called me names and has seen me deal with them for seven years has the bloody audacity. Yet, I replied to her.

    Who are these people? I am afraid, but limited as my reach is, there are people who do know and respect me as a professional. I am not anonymous or a fruitcake spending time on the Net discussing other people's lives. The interactor whose quote I mentioned has been vacillating, and I do not expect blind loyalty or any loyalty, but I do not like this business of making someone the scapegoat only to drive home a point.

    Circle, in your other post you said you like this blog etc. I thank you for it. You also said that if I did not want your "truthfulness" then you did not want to waste your time or mine. If you think it is a waste of your time, it is a choice you have to make. But I am not letting this "truthfulness" pass here, because I know better what the truth is....do not forget I have been dealing with the shit for longer and with greater intensity. Anyone else would have given up long ago; I did not.

    No applause is required, just an understanding.

    So, no, I will not allow that website to be dissed because I have always stated if you cannot respect the place you occupy then do not be there. There is no need to add to the nonsense and tarnish it further. I have a body of work there to show which those precious ‘ladies’ don’t. I have responded to the vilest abuses which have never crossed the line of dignity, which those ‘ladies’ would not even comprehend.

    Circle, you do what your heart tells you is right. I have trusted you despite your anonymity. This is my truthfulness, if I may say so.

    You used to talk about finding serenity here. That is what I want. I was pushed against the wall and therefore this blog post came out.

    And there will be no more discussion on the subject at ALL.

    For now, the choice is yours. Thank you for having connected.

    Happiness always...

  8. Ana: Thanks. Aur kya kahein?

    Amandeep: It is so warm here...the fan makes it pleasant though. Little thing do. Like your comments.

    Raj karega khalsa:-)

    Btw, if you want DVDs of classic Pak drama serials let me know...

  9. Looks like you are always fighting the same battle, protect your space and be strong!

  10. Farzana
    [Circle, you do what your heart tells you is right. I have trusted you despite your anonymity. This is my truthfulness, if I may say so.]

    I am your die hard fan and I already made my decision few months back, when I started following your blog daily with my comments.
    Yes, you trusted me with my anonymity.I will try my best to maintain this trust.

    I apologize for any inconvenience that I may have caused you. I apologize if I may have hurt your feelings unintentionally.

    Please, forgive me from the core of your heart. I did not mean NO harm to you or to anyone.

    I will always be here for you,if you need me for anything.

    Forgive and forget

  11. Circle:

    No apology needed, just a bit of understanding and your comments on the small life I lead...am glad you are here. Amandeep will celebrate by watching some crappy film on DVD:-)


    Look into my eyes and you will see many storms, many battles...or have they been drowned in tears? Mushy-mushy...I need my cuppa chai...

    I leave the PC for now happy and humming...

  12. TGIF

    Sophia Loren::Sunflower :-)

    We all love you Farzana and will always do.

    BTW where can I get the Pak Play DVD's

    Know some shop in Mumbai? I can try to get some when I am there.

    All that ends well is well.

    Play mein bhi to yehi hota hai!!

  13. Aap Sunflower dekhiye...I will try and do advance booking for 'Red Swastika':)

    You will get the Pak DVDs at Rainbow Centre, Karachi...or borrow them from me...if you want Omar Sharif, plz take them...I will pay you for it!

    "All's well that ends well..." Yeh Sheikh Peer ne kaha tha.

    Oh, I love all of you...ahem, ahem...too.

    Have a fun weekend.

  14. All bloggers on this board:

    I acknowledge that I have been out of line on this board, and elsewhere, again and again. I sincerely apologize.

    I promise not to do any of that stuff again any more. (I also promise to leave the soiled shoes outside.)

    Now, please let me back in!

    Thank you. :)

    PS: Dear interactors, if FV allows this blog to post and asks you for your response to this, kindly vote "yes" on my behalf.

    Thanks for your votes. :) :)

  15. What I am curious about is why some folks are so desperate to interact on a blog of a person they have made insinuations about in the past, even after apologies. It is not up to us interactors to vote or decide anyway, but Farzana. And if this gets posted or not, mera kuchh nahiN bigaRta. Life does go on. This is just a small, lovely slice of it. And I can understand why F. would want to keep it that way.


    PS. I want DVD's of classic Pak dramas!!! But Umar Sharif I will most gladly pass on. :)

  16. beejK
    U got to understand FV is owner of this Home sweet Home.

    I come to this Home for serenity.

    If, U wish to have serenity,too. Just ask FV to let U In and give U last chance to improve your lost dignity.

    U have had been abusing FV a lot everywhere,despite apologies.

    When UR guest in anyone's house,U got to respect house owners certain etiquettes,certain norms and standards set by the owner, not by you.

    U got to go with the mood of the owner, U can't impose your own rules and regulations.....

    If, UR ready to follow all rules and regulations set forth by the owner of this blog, then I will say,YES....vote for U.

  17. Beej...

    you ever want to call me a 'khalistani' again? no nono let me get this straight please. tell me :-)

    my vote is pending.

    We are masses dear beej. We love farzana.

    I used to like your posts initially. Try to pinch her... but dont use soiled hands.

    Did you notice how clean and white her dress came out in her 99 year ageg wala snap.

    Thanks that you wished her a long life. Aapki zubaan mubarak ho and may Farzana live beyond 99

    seedhe ho jao miyan!kisi din mere paan ki peek kahin...psheeeeee

  18. Trust. Giving another chance. Belief. Always had a problem with these. Did I expect anything better?

    It has been a little over 16 hours since Beej’s post was let through, and he has had nothing to say on any other post of mine. (I was going offline early and would not return soon, so I thought I’d switch off moderating this blog. It is anyway tiresome.) And what do I find? Is he interested in what I write or in how to hijack a personal space?

    His post is so patronising.

    He addresses “All bloggers on this board”. He apologises for being out of line, but does not apologise to ME. And he assumes that I will not be in a position to act on my own: “PS: Dear interactors, if FV allows this blog to post and asks you for your response to this, kindly vote "yes" on my behalf.”

    “Thanks for your votes. :) :)”

    WTF. Is this an election? This style of conducting ‘dialogues’ on a website with people gets on my nerves and the last thing I wish is for it to be replicated here. Why are people who come here being referred to an ‘interactors’?

    Why is it so important to co-opt others and then get into a tizzy when those others make positive remarks about me?

    This is a clear indicator to me that it is more of the same “I wanna have my say and I am not gonna let the b…h rest coz I have a responsibility to do my janitorial duties” that has been going on for a few years now.

    I do not see any hope. And I am going by a long record of ‘interactions’ under various nicks elsewhere.

    So Beej, there is only one vote here and it is mine. You want to be here, then please respect this space and do not have two standards – one for the rogue’s gallery elsewhere and another here. If I do not like a post I will delete it. It is unlikely that you will be able to maintain decorum for long. I’d suggest, because I dislike humiliating people, that you do not waste precious time and talent if your aim is to treat this as a battleground.

    It is only a blog and I am not Dostoevsky.

  19. Said what I wanted to...

    Le M:

    "keep up the good work FV and we’ll keep coming back for more"

    When I am bad I am even better:-)(not my quote)


    DVDs are miles away...but maybe some day.


    I am more like the housemaid for the past few days than the house owner!


    You are hugely wicked.

    "Try to pinch her... but dont use soiled hands."

    This isn't Italy...and are you certain this is Antonio Banderas with a sanitiser?

    Btw, what is your paan choice? Banarasi, Kalkatta or magai?

  20. Amandeep, no you are no khalistani, my statement was in jest.

    In fact, to the best of my understanding all khalistanis live abroad - mostly in the UK (99 percent) and the rest in the USA (to be found in, if I were to guess, in the Honorable Congressman Towns' personal closet).

  21. FV, thank you for your "vote" for hope (mixed with legitimate cynicism).


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