Despite having travelled overseas quite extensively, I find some American aspects truly hard to digest.

You enter a restaurant and just when you are half-way through the humongous portions, or merely pausing for breath or to contemplate your fingernails, you will hear a rather chirpy voice asking you, “Are you done?” When your eyes meet his or hers, there will be another salvo, “You still workin’ on it?”

Done? Working on it? I am surprised they don’t tell you, “Righto, enjoy masticating!”

Jaahils! This is food. This is ‘peit puja’. Only we understand the sheer devotion towards a culinary experience. Mind you, I am not talking about some fast-food joint. These were proper places.

At one, the girl waiting tables wore her cap backwards. It was a sushi bar, for god’s sake.

At a restaurant in the genteel Los Gatos, there was a cocktail named Tsunami Relief…Malibu Rum, hypnotiq, pineapple juice. Talk of insensitivity.

A ‘tall’ coffee is a small one. Why? Nobody knows.

If someone asks you, “So, how you doin; today?” you just cannot respond with a tepid, “Fine, thanks.” You have to sound like you have returned from a massage parlour…”Grrreeeaaatt…”

And then there is the other exclamation, more like punctuations.

“Hi there. What can I do fer ya?”

“I need a …”

“Un huh..”

“The names of a few home delivery places…


“So, do you have them?”

“Un huh, jussamoment... Un huh, hey-you-ah”

Names are rattled off.


“Un huh…”

“I’ll call them now…”

“Aaan haanh!”

Finally, a climax is reached.


  1. FV:

    I hope this dislike is only restricted to certain aspects of Amreekan culture only... Not a pathological distaste for all things american...

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  3. just like my roadsides dhabas in my punjab of today :-)

  4. PS:

    'American culture'?? I am afraid I have a distaste for most things Americian. Worry not. The United States is not the poorer for it.
    - - -


    I hope someone reads, understands and does whatever you want them to do. Thanks for making me the conduit :-)
    - - -


    In dhabas they do what they have to...they do not pretend otherwise.


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