Can you imagine your good fortune? At the Geneva International Exhibition of Invention, the world’s largest fair devoted to innovation, one of the great new discoveries is a soda bottle opener that makes you open the said bottle with only one hand. Imagine!
I have no clue what anyone who has to open the bottle would be doing with the other hand at the time that s/he cannot employ it as well. I am sure, though, this has warmed the cockles of many a heart. Look at the neat design and the satisfaction on the model's/innovator's (?) face. As I said, you people are lucky.
Why not me? Because I cannot open a soda bottle even with two hands, especially if it is straight from the fridge and sweating icily. I find it slippery so – pardon the indelicate reference – I have to press it between my thighs and hold it a little below the neck with one hand and get the opener at the opening and hope and pray that the deed is done without any spillage or the fizz does not leap out and fracture my face.
I am sharing this important personal detail because surely it cannot be the only instance in the world. No, don’t tell me it is. Like, am I a pioneer who uses parts of four limbs to open a soda bottle? I do it with other bottles as well. And sometimes with cans too.
PS: Those who have the privilege of being Mumbaikars might be aware of a wonderful Parsi last name: Sodawaterbottleopernerwalla. No kidding.
Replies pending, I know. Will do so later. Thanks
ReplyDeleteIt made me smile though. I had a flashback of struggling with bottle caps with teeth, door locks, corners of the beds, fire places and god knows what. Its funny how people use anything and everything to open just one god damn bottle.
ReplyDeleteI would confess that my first reaction to this invention was "dude this is cool". Now my bartender friends can do more tricks at their work...:)
not all those who wander are lost - J.R.R Tolkien
ReplyDeleteFV, one should not ask why so much time and effort was spent on inventing it, as opposed to appreciate the level of passion towards opening bottles with one hand, while you quickly drink the previous one with the other hand. :)
ReplyDeleteThe Japanese have a tradition of Chindogu, which is basically pointless inventions that manage to make the lives of at least one person better (the inventor).
http://www.hemmy.net/2006/04/27/useless-japanese-inventions/
Howdy AI,
ReplyDeleteFrom Xinhuanet here:
http://news.xinhuanet.com/english2010/odd/2010-04/22/c_13263197.htm
Burning man saved with Coca Cola
. . . Grabbing a two-litre bottle of Coke, Nicholas shook it up and aimed it at his father as he unscrewed the cap. The pressure from the carbon dioxide in the soft drink forced a jet of liquid over Andrew Wythe and extinguished the flames . . . .
Likely Nicholas' pyromaniac father was burned rather badly. Of course, if it'd been Farzana, he'd have wound up somewhat crispier. :D
IB:
ReplyDeleteHah, I know about a few of those tricks too. And it really frustrates me that they have this little opener thing in the bathroom at many hotels. No clue why. Of course, I have never succeeded because the hair dryer would fall...anyhow, my method works!
Al:
Why would anyone alternate drinks, unless you are talking about something more potent? Like take a sip, swirl it in your mouth, glide it down your tongue towards the throat and then as your other hand successfully opens the soda bottle you take a swig of it? Funny.
Yes, I know about those Jap inventions and some are quite good for us lazy souls, though I don't see how buttering a slice of toast with a gluestick like device is any different from a butter knife. Less sharp?
Mstaab:
Hrmph. I am an iced tea person and prefer Pepsi to Coke. And my pizzas thin crust crispy. Not Nicholas's father, though. I shall remember to always have an asbestos sheet on me :)
Farhan:
ReplyDeleteBut not all those who stay in one place are found. Okay, that is lame...
FV:"Why would anyone alternate drinks, unless you are talking about something more potent? "
ReplyDeleteBut of course :-) -- can't see myself in a hurry to swig bottles of soda unless I was paid to do so. I had a drink made from fermented molasses in mind when I wrote that.
"Like take a sip, swirl it in your mouth, glide it down your tongue towards the throat and then as your other hand successfully opens the soda bottle you take a swig of it?"
Was thinking more of a chug-fest than a swig-fest, but you get the idea :) -- if you can chug a couple of liters of water without taking a breath, this is doable :)
mstaab, that was some quick thinking by the person!
ReplyDeleteFV:
"though I don't see how buttering a slice of toast with a gluestick like device is any different from a butter knife. Less sharp?"
Heh, less sharp than a butter knife. That's funny. :) Good question though, don't know.