7.11.12

What do women get at dargahs?

Haji Ali Dargah as we see it from outside

Everybody seems to have been to or wants to visit dargahs. All it takes is a fatwa for the excitement to peak. So, when news came in that women will not be permitted in the Haji Ali dargah, there was no pause for thought. First, a bit from the Rediff report quoting Rizwan Merchant, trustee of the Haji Ali Dargah Trust:

“Women are not allowed inside the sanctum sanctorum of the dargah. If Islamic scholars have issued a fatwa, in accordance with the Islamic law of Sharia, and have demanded that women not be allowed in dargahs, we have only made a correction. They can read their prayers, do namaz and offer shawls and flowers. All that we are requesting to our sisters is not to enter inside the dargah.”
Why have they issued this edict now? Or, was it already in existence, and nobody noticed because either women did not enter or when disallowed did not think it important enough to oppose?

If the Sharia is being invoked, then what is the role of dargahs, which is worship of a saint? According to Islam, such worship is wrong. Besides, graves are not supposed to be in a confined space and most certainly not have a fancy tombstone to which people bow their heads. Therefore, why was there silence on this matter earlier?

There is a suggestion that dargahs follow a Sufi tradition, which is moderate. I don’t see how and why people have to start asserting such moderate behaviour when the prayers offered are verses from the Quran; the namaaz is sanctioned in the Quran as one of the pillars of Islam.  Except for the qawwalis, there is nothing specifically Sufi about dargahs.

The above-mentioned argument is highlighted to posit it against the stringent form of Islam. This is point scoring, and nothing else. In mosques, women are barred from public prayers. I would like to know how many of the women who are fighting against the patriarchal attitude of the dargah Trust have fought for their right to pray at mosques or to even lead the prayers?  

According to some sources, women cannot visit cemeteries and graves. This is dependent on which sect you belong to, and the only thing I can vouch for is that they do not participate in the final rites.

Further more, the report states:
But the decision to restrict women from entering the innermost part of the shrine has not gone down with a women's group, the Bharatiya Muslim Mahila Andolan. "The shrine trustees told us the restrictions were imposed after a woman came inappropriately dressed last year," said Noorjehan Safia Niaz, founder, BMMA, calling the decision unIslamic.


The tomb

I doubt if this is the sole reason. But I also do not see how demanding the right to visit some grave becomes a case of Islamic misogyny. How many women saints have shrines dedicated to them? Will the Sufis stand up and explain this, please?

Having said this, I have visited a few dargahs and admit it was less reverence and more curiosity or to please someone. I have not been able to ask for anything, which is what dargahs thrive on – using a pir as an intermediary to god.

Some people do find peace and, in the heightened atmosphere of incense, flowers and low sobbing, one could experience a spiritual or cathartic moment.

But, these places have become celebrity hangouts. The appropriateness of dress of the famous, even if questioned, does not make the place restricted territory for them. Then, there is avarice. The munjawars (caretakers) will rush you through the motions and their boys will follow you till you add to the donation box.

At Nizamuddin, in what was the ladies’ areas, a man came in, thrust a register before me, showed me several foreign-sounding visitors for some strange reason, and gave me a litany of complaints about the money needed. He was like a retail store that places the pricier wares closer to the entrance. Here, I was seeing these big ticket donors. I would have liked to make some offering anyway, but his attitude put me off. Yet, I did pay much more than I would have and it was not in any donation box. He took it saying it would be deposited on my behalf.  


Worse, the man selling agarbattis way out of the dargah area ticked me off for not covering my head. The visit was unplanned, so over my respectable kurta I had a thick flannel poncho, it being winter. He said, “Khuda ke darbar mein aakar itna bhi nahin maalum ibaadat ke bare mein?” (Coming to the house of god, don’t you know how to express faith?) I was really angry. I didn’t wish to nitpick that this was not the house of god, unless one refers to god’s omnipotence. But I did tell him, “Sar par dupatta odhne se ibaadat badhti nahin hai.” (By covering my head with a scarf, faith does not increase)

My uncovered head was not intended as a slight. I would have done so on my own. Since I was not going to let the experience go waste, I pulled up my poncho from the back and over my head, the tassels like a fringe on my forehead. I sat against a pillar in the women’s wing, and wept because I felt ridiculous, I was upset, and I did not know what to pray.  

A friend who was accompanying me had disappeared. Later, I was surprised to find him escorted right into the mosque and even asked to join in the prayers. He is a Christian. Without even trying, he passed off as a Muslim. He wasn’t too helpful when, upon hearing about my experience, he told me, “You probably don’t look like you belong here.” He meant it literally. I realise I don’t. In so many ways. In so many places. 

(c) Farzana Versey

8 comments:

  1. What’s wrong in asking women to pray in a private area of Dargah? I know people without any understanding will jump on it to show themselves as progressive.
    Let it think it this way,
    Dargah are meant for prayers and a place to find solace, though people now a day think of it as a picnic. I don’t dare to comment on women’s dressing as I’ll get blown away by the moderate brigade, but everyone knows how some girls dresses (not all of them, but few definitely). I don’t have issues with their dressing if I see them in a mall or multiplex - in fact Ill like to see them ;). Some of us (may be a small fraction) go there to find some solace and peace, and as “men will be men” end up ogling here and there. The next argument would be asking men to restrain, but men are made like that and evolution/God is to blame for it. So it’s good to have some restriction, and make Dargah as a divine experience instead of a picnic. I agree there are many others nuisance at such places (Mujavirs and vendors) but that does not make the above restriction invalid.
    If I were the president of the Dargah trust, I would have done the same thing in slightly different way.
    I would have restricted men’s entry to the Dargah premises to seclude men and women while praying. This will be seen as a very progressive and cool thing to be done and would be well appreciated. Let some time pass by, and interchange the praying area (restricting women in the Dargah) siting the proportion of devotees visiting and the space crunch. No one should argue it as ratio of men is generally high. What say??

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  3. FV,

    I could fully and precisely understand what you would have felt on that occassion. I know you will suspect this to be a motivated statement of a supposed islamophobe, but it is not.

    In a broader sense, religion has always worked as a formidable tool in the hands of men to assert their superiority over women. Many times, it has been done at the cost of God and justice. It is a matter of shame that while other, man-made institutions are (perhaps under duress, but surely) taking baby steps towards gender equality, places of religion are loath to such ideas. I saw a debate on a Marathi news channel two days back where the trusty of Mahim Dargah vociferously justified the decision in the name of Shariah while simultaneously claiming that it was not anti-women. "We are only requesting for observing it is dargah. Have we ever obected to women working or studying?" He extolled himself. Indeed!

    Haji Ali Dargah is not the only example. Ambabai temple of Kolhapur (maharashtra) and many other shrines have passed such strictures. Our great sekulaar state has caved in promptly or has looked the other way. As for the priests, nothing different was expected of them anyway.

    Having said all this, I still maintain that in my opinion, Islamism is likely to put up the bloodiest fight against gender equality because in Islam, it is fairly easy to discredit people and condemn them to death for apostacy / blasphemy. The masses are only too willing to comply in the hope that it will advance their names in the Jannat's waiting list. Perhaps they see it as a sort of Tatkal scheme!

    I, for one, have scrupulously stayed clear of dargahs and mosques. My reasons are personal, though some may not see them as such! I do not think I should hold forth on these reasons on this forum since FV will likely be put off by the ensuing discussion. So my silence on that.

    All the best.

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  4. It's just an old game guys like to play since kindergarten called "no girls allowed".

    don't take it too seriously.

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  5. Rizwan:

    So, we are into stereotyping dargahs…well, some of it is true.

    I wept because I was upset by the male-centric attitude and the general tone of what one wears…actually, there can be several reasons for crying. No one can tell me not to pray. Or to pray.

    Thanks for the other information.

    Safdar:

    No one thinks of dargahs as a picnic, although theyare used for commercial Sufi festivals. I guess you mean those!

    I obviously do not agree with your “men will be men” stand, for there is no rule that says women will not be women. What a man does with his eyes is not binding on what women do with their clothes. That said, I’ve already mentioned that some propriety is expected and indeed followed.

    Your idea of seclusion of gender sounds good, simply because it would afford women freedom. Yup, that’s cool.

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  6. F&F:

    I could fully and precisely understand what you would have felt on that occassion. I know you will suspect this to be a motivated statement of a supposed islamophobe, but it is not.

    I don’t read comments or anything with, “oh, well, I know what’s coming”. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. But then…it’s just another day:

    Having said all this, I still maintain that in my opinion, Islamism is likely to put up the bloodiest fight against gender equality because in Islam, it is fairly easy to discredit people and condemn them to death for apostacy / blasphemy. The masses are only too willing to comply in the hope that it will advance their names in the Jannat's waiting list. Perhaps they see it as a sort of Tatkal scheme!

    I shall ignore that. Yes, religions have always discriminated against women. It is also easy to twist and interpret to suit the patriarchal perspective. However, being irreligious myself, I don’t always know whether regarding specific details about modes of worship, I can intervene.

    I, for one, have scrupulously stayed clear of dargahs and mosques. My reasons are personal, though some may not see them as such! I do not think I should hold forth on these reasons on this forum since FV will likely be put off by the ensuing discussion.

    You’ve done worse on other occasions.

    ---

    Hitesh:

    It's just an old game guys like to play since kindergarten called "no girls allowed"….don't take it too seriously.

    I gather you are referring to the fact that guys never grow up. I wish they’d not use this ‘not allowed’ selectively and allow themselves feminine company and the ladies’ special as and when it suits their whims.

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  7. After reading the article and then looking at the title again I think I got what you are saying which is, why do women even bother to go to the Dargahs and exactly what are they getting out of these places. The description of your visit and your observations were quite an interesting read for me. Also to be questioned about one's clothes and decorum by some dingbat is definitely most annoying.
    It seems like Dargahs are not theologically sanctioned by the holy books of Islam but they do exist as Islamic places of worship somehow. In that case the fatwa would not be religious either but merely a rule, dare I say a secular rule introduced by the management of the Dargah masquerading as a religious edict.
    Just wanted to add that this seems to be the problem with a lot of religions, issues that are truly secular get mixed up with religious/spirutual and then confuse the hell out of every one. Any scholar who tries to separate them and explain what's what would be branded a heretic and then perhaps burned at the stake.

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  8. Sai:

    I would not say that women should not visit dargahs; just that there is no need to fight for this right.

    Worship, and more specifically sajda (bowing one's head before anyone except the Almighty) is not sanctioned in Islam, and dargahs completely ignore that.

    Fatwas, as I have repeated here time and again, are individual opinions and not Quranic sanctions. Any two-bit maulvi can issue a fatwa and the media uses it as some 'backward' idea.

    PS: I am merely registering the few facts as I know them. It is not binding upon the reader to accept it!

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