Indian Armyman? Want to marry? Wait!

The Indian Armed Forces love their boys so much that they cannot stand the idea of another woman, especially if she is not a good enough Bharatiya naari, the epitome of Indian womanhood. Never mind that the better cantonments follow fairly westernised modes of entertainment; even their you-know-what time-pass is not Savita bhabhi, but some Kardashian or unnamed Kelly belly.

Now, this is not to diss the respected arm of the nation. It is a recent news item that needs to be examined.

Major Yogesh Sayanakar, 27, posted in Jammu and Kashmir wanted to marry in 2009. The lady of Indian origin is a US citizen. Army rules state that either she has to become an Indian citizen or his services will be terminated and he would have to refund the cost of his training. However, the lady did not want to give up her US citizenship.

The Major had petitioned the HC after the army repeatedly denied him permission to leave the services. The couple had the blessings of their parents, but the army was not convinced that he wanted to leave the army to marry a foreigner.

Yesterday, the Bombay High Court gave its verdict: He could go ahead and get married and will have to furnish proof of that marriage to the army.

What does it tell you? That once you join the army you become captive. In some ways, it does encourage fealty. But how many army men are posted in the same place for long periods? Do they get an opportunity to understand their terrain well enough?

It is time for the army to realise that, as in any other profession, people are disgruntled and they do look for better opportunities and career challenges, either within or outside. Such suspicion says more about the army than the people wanting to leave. Let us not question their patriotism since many capitalistic enterprises are in charge of how nationalism is perceived anyway, so if they get into the corporate sector they might end up holding the flag higher and with more perks.

There is unlikely to be a shortage of people who join the forces because of unemployment and due to an inherent attraction towards the profession. I also find it rather unfair that people have to pay the army for their training. Such training must be given to all willing citizens so that the pressure on the forces is less during civic strife or when the army cannot reach immediately.

There is the argument about security risk. It would wash had there been a squeaky clean image. The armed forces are as tainted as any other profession – from real estate to rape to encounter deaths to torture to corruption to spying to involvement in bomb blasts to political affiliations, many officers have been indicted for these.

Incidentally, what happens if an armyman is abroad on vacation and his pregnant wife delivers her baby there and the child naturally becomes a US citizen? Will the armed forces insist that the child will need to give up that citizenship before the soldier resumes duty?

And surely the seniors in the army are aware that there are cases where people fake certain illnesses to quit. An epileptic seizure is all it takes. I don’t think a man will risk something as seismic as marriage just to get out.

The Indian Army’s Women

The headline is deliberately sensational. This is how the women officers are treated – with scant respect and without getting their due. Worse, the government that talks about reservations for women in Parliament agrees with the court that women in the Indian Armed Forces are lesser than men. Major Seema Singh has challenged the Supreme Court:

“The policies for women in army not only discriminate her against male officers but also lower her status to that of a jawan/junior commissioned officer, whom she has been leading for 14 years.”

After this, she is “thrown out”, and given the number of years she receives no pension and no retirement benefits. In the scathing words of Major Singh:

“The army is using the policy of use and throw while dealing with its trained women officers.”

The risk theory is propounded, which is flimsy:

“Women officers and gentlemen officers commissioned into these services are performing similar jobs, undergoing similar professional courses and are being posted to all field and peace postings. There is no separate charter of duties for women officers or short service commissioned male officers and permanent commissioned male officers. The strength of women officers posted in services in combat zone is 30% whereas short service commissioned gentlemen officers comprise 29% and permanent commissioned gentlemen officers have 23% presence.”

Even if one is to take the facing the enemy line, these tasks are not about combat. Besides, how many troops are really in a constant state of battle? Why must only combat zones be considered real work? This is just a manner in which the army, a male preserve, keeps its image of machismo alive.

It is clearly not an issue of performance but gender, for why do the officers doing the same job get to stay and why are some pushed up to give orders to the women who were once their seniors? How many women officers have been implicated in scams? How many have had cases against them for sexual harassment? How many have shirked their duties? How many have dropped out mid-way? How many have used excuses to get out of the army – it is tough and the excuses are fine-tuned? How many instances have the armed forces encountered where women officers specifically asked for soft postings? Are there more applications for leave from women officers?

Do remember these women are not getting brave in bunkers for a short while; this is their job and they ought to be given all the facilities due to them.

If militant organisations can have their women’s wing, and be sure they are combative, then the army need not worry about our women officers. They joined the forces knowing what they were getting into and not to nurse the wounds and egos of our male officers.

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On an unrelated note: 

Cinema halls play the national anthem before the start of a movie. Of late, they have the film Rajneeti's team on screen before the flag singing the anthem. No one resents standing up out of respect, but I certainly do not want to see the faces of Katrina Kaif, Ranbir Kapoor, Prakash Jha and the rest covering the flag. Why do we have to face them? It appears we are paying respects to them as representing the anthem and the flag.

The hungry Indian army

Each time I say anything about the Indian Armed Forces, there is objection about tarring the whole army with the same brush. Yes, they say, there are scams. Yes, they say, some soldiers are bad. We talk about the spirit, about warfare, about the ability to fight, the quality of arms. What happens if a basic requirement like food comes under the scanner?

Soldiers who are supposed to be fit are being given food supplies that are well past their expiry date, to the extent of two years. Contracts are given to favoured companies without a thought to the quality and quantity of the product. Here is a part of the report from TOI:

Tabled in Parliament on Tuesday, the latest CAG report paints a dismal picture of the Army's procurement and supply of dry rations (rice, wheat, dal, sugar, tea, oil, tinned items) and fresh rations (vegetables, fruit, meat, milk), undertaken at an annual cost of Rs 1,440 crore.

As per CAG, the main villains of the piece are Army Service Corps (ASC) and Army Purchase Organization, all under the benign gaze of Army HQ and the defence ministry.

It is a fairly high-level scam obviously and the person suffering is your humble jawan. Advertisements lure young people to enlist in the army and do something for the country. Many join because of employment needs and not because they have this great desire to serve the nation. I am sorry, but that is the truth. In the course of the training, they might feel a sense of bonding with their fellow soldiers and the camaraderie and aggression instilled does often end up giving them a sense of higher purpose. This is good. However, together with the discipline of the hierarchy comes the powerlessness of those in the lower cadre. They might accept it where they know their place and are expected to take directions, but what about not getting the right food?

If you want the citizen to respect the army, then it has to respect itself. Such respect is possible if it at least does not scrimp on something as basic as sustenance. We all know about liquor and how it is sold in the market by officers. This sort of corruption can be ignored, especially if we will be shot down with the precious query, “Isn’t it rampant in other fields?” But you cannot expect soldiers to be healthy and ready to fight if they are underfed or, worse, being fed with food that could turn out to be outright spoiled all because some officer has got kickbacks on atta, dal, eggs and chicken.

And since we are told we must be thankful that terrorists have not reached our doorstep because of the army, may be ask the defence ministry why it is putting the lives of the Indian citizens at risk by placing our safety in the hands of hungry soldiers? Will human rights organisations fight for the rights of these soldiers and the health ministry conduct an independent check on the state of their wellness?

Or will attention once again be diverted to the ‘larger issue’ of the threat yapping at our borders?

The Right Thing?

Jairam Ramesh threw off his robes. As a minister for environment and forests, he was making no point, but by discarding the convocation robes at a function, he did send out the right message.

However, he made some wrong points:

“Why can’t we have a convocation ceremony in simple clothes? With the flowing robe and hat, it’s like being decked up like medieval vicars and popes. This practice started in 13th century Oxford. This attire can be stifling in this season...You can come to the convocation in shirts and trousers. Why the robe? The hat is worn only so that it can be thrown up in the air at the end of the ceremony. Why do you wear a hat if you have to throw it?’’

Throwing the hat is symbolic. We throw a lot of things during religious ceremonies…often as purging. This denotes some sort of freedom. As regards Oxford, we flash such credentials at every given opportunity.

“I’ve still not been able to figure out why we stick to such barbaric colonial relics.’’

Colonial it is, not barbaric. In fact, it strived for a specifically stifling dress code to portray a civilisational mode of pomp and pageantry as opposed to savage crudity. It is ceremonial attire to confer a degree, to accept an achievement into the hall of fame. While we must understand that these clothes do not seem appropriate now, there is the more crucial question about how education itself has become a downgraded and ‘barbaric’.

Prime Minister Manmohan Singh has announced education for all as a basic need. It is honourable in intent, but where are the questions: why do people drop out? Where are the schools in the interiors? Who sells question papers in the open market prior to exam? How has technology intervened in the cheating process?

Also, what about the farce of honorary doctorates being given to ministers and actors and celebrities?

What after discarding the robes? Some more thinking.

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What is this?

The caption says:

In this handout picture released by The Press Information Bureau on March 31, 2010, Incoming Chief of Army staff General V.K. Singh (R) shakes hands with outgoing Chief General Deepak Kapoor (L) in New Delhi”.

I am surprised. I am not sure about the specifics required, but for a profession that talks about protocol and how mandatory it is, why is the Chief of Staff seated? Isn’t it expected that he should stand up? It is not as though some minion is paying respects to him.

If not as protocol perhaps courtesy?

Padma's Lakshmi and Sant Chatwal

The nation’s highest civilian honours are announced on Republic Day, and as always there is cause for heartburn for those left out and amusement to onlookers.

10 per cent have been hogged by outsiders – yeah, expats. We’ll get to them in a minute.

Here are the awards:

• Padma Vibhushan: “exceptional and distinguished service’’
• Padma Bhushan: “distinguished service of high order’’
• Padma Shri: “distinguished service in any field’’

What is Farid Zakaria’s achievement when compared to the years of work by artists Akbar Padamsee or Ram Kumar (they have all got the Padma Bhushan)? Is it important to choose someone from particular fields? Think about how Sitara Devi was constantly sidelined and refused to accept an award not in keeping with her stature. I’d say all this does not matter, but these are public figures who have contributed a lot to their field, at times exceptionally so.

In a nation that prides itself on being on the go we could not find a worthy candidate who could be a jewel, a Bharat Ratna? That should make us ashamed and stop bragging.

It is not surprising that the Nobel, Magsaysay and Oscar winning guys will take away the Padmas too; they have to because India needs to prove that we also celebrate what they do.

This brings us to the most controversial award-winner this year – US-based hotelier Sant Chatwal. He gets the Padma Bhushan in the field of public affairs. As far as we know running hotels is indeed a public service, but that isn’t what the committee thought about. He has been a fund-raiser for the Democrats, primarily the Clintons. Hillary Clinton is Secretary of State. Let us not forget for a moment that political considerations always work.

You perform a surgery on a bigwig, you interview him, you clean his cupboards but do not wash his dirty linen and you have it made.

I think Sant Chatwal deserves it. He is the successful face of our country we’d like to show; he is from a minority community, he pushes the royal Indian version when his son gets married and makes us look like a land of elephants, which we indeed are. It is really bridging the gap between the traditional and the modern that is so important to us, although we have no idea about what really traditional means and what modern means. For us, tradition is ritualistic and modernity is of course westernisation.

There is no need to be surprised. Why is everyone mentioning the cases of fraud against him now? As though the awards committee does not know. He is our man in the US, and we need our men in the US. Sant Chatwal has been offered a lollipop to keep him happy; his happiness will spill over and fill the coffers of that huntress Hillary and we might get a little pat on the back for being tough on terrorism.

As on every such occasion, we were warned about attacks. The security agencies were also examining the tunnel on the border. This tunnel must have been a real quickie. Anyhow, I hope our guys were more prominent in the Padma lists; their getting awards for bravery is different.

Former CBI chief D R Karthikeyan, who headed the SIT which probed the Rajiv assassination case, has also been selected for the Padma Shri award. Now? Time to wake up.

I think there should be bidding for these awards. Really.

End Note

Can someone please tell me since when has Mile Sur Mera Tumhara become “The song of India”? It is about India, about promoting its “multi-culti”, in Naipaul’s words, but who decides on something being the song of a nation? And if it is, then why has it been revamped to look like a cross between a Bachchan-infused Mani Ratnam film and an ad for Lux soap?

Those things our armymen do...

Now, this forward is supposed to make us go all gooey. I did try. Honest. But it’s not working. Why on earth is it even necessary to ask, “Any one more secular than the Indian army?”

Here are the examples. My two-bits in bold:

As a serving army officer, I never stop marvelling at the gullibility of our countrymen to be provoked with alacrity into virulence in the name of religion. I have never heard the word 'secular' during all my service -- and yet, the simple things that are done simply in the army make it appear like an island of sanity in a sea of hatred.

In the army, each officer identifies with the religion of his troops. In regiments where the soldiers are from more than one religion, the officers -- and indeed all jawans attend the weekly religious prayers of all the faiths. How many times have I trooped out of the battalion mandir and, having worn my shoes, entered the battalion church next door? A few years ago it all became simpler -- mandirs, masjids, gurudwars and churches began to share premises all over the army. It saved us the walk.

So, God is not omnipotent and omniscient, but has a) a foot fetish b) is a fitness instructor

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Perhaps it is so because the army genuinely believes in two central 'truths' -- oneness of god and victory in operations. Both are so sacred we cannot nitpick and question the basics.

In fact, sometimes the army mixes up the two! On a visit to the holy cave at Amarnath a few years ago I saw a plaque mounted on the side of the hill by a battalion that had once guarded the annual Yatra. It said, 'Best wishes from -....- battalion. Deployed for Operation Amarnath.

If there was oneness of god, then there would be no need for an Operation Amarnath.

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On another instance, I remember a commanding officer ordered the battalion maulaviji to conduct the proceedings of Janamashtmi prayers because the panditji had to proceed on leave on compassionate grounds. No eyebrows were raised. It was the most rousing and best-prepared sermon on Lord Krishna I have ever had the pleasure of listening to.

Geez, the army has maulvis and pandits? Can people not have their own little holy books they can read from? Would it be the same attitude had a pandit given a sermon about the prophet? Do they also have Catholic priests, Sikh granthis and Buddhist and Jain monks?

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On the Line of Control, a company of Khemkhani Muslim soldiers replaced a Dogra battalion. Over the next few days, the post was shelled heavily by Pakistanis, and there were a few non-fatal casualties.

One day, the junior commissioned officer of the company, Subedar Sarwar Khan walked up to the company commander Major Sharma and said, "Sahib, ever since the Dogras left, the mandir has been shut. Why don't you open it once every evening and do aarti? Why are we displeasing the gods?"

Major Sharma shamefacedly confessed he did not know all the words of the aarti. Subedar Sarwar Khan went away and that night, huddled over the radio set under a weak lantern light, painstakingly took down the words of the aarti from the post of another battalion!

Is this secular? If there are no aartis, it would displease the gods? Since they know so much about the working of the mind of gods why don’t they ask the gods (please note the plural…didn’t someone talk about oneness of religion earlier?) to do some jaadu and get the troops on the other side to just disappear?

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How many of us know that along the entire border with Pakistan, our troops abstain from alcohol and non-vegetarian food on all Thursdays? The reason: It is called the Peer day -- essentially a day of religious significance for the Muslims.

Only the armed forces seem to know about such days. Which Peer is being commemorated and for what? To the best of my knowledge, Peer is Monday in Urdu. So, how does Monday appear on Thursday? Civilian Muslims eat meat on all days and those who do not drink will not drink on any day. The rest will continue with their chhota and bara pegs.

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In 1984, after Operation Bluestar there was anguish in the Sikh community over the desecration of the holiest of their shrines. Some of this anger and hurt was visible in the army too.

I remember the first Sikh festival days after the event -- the number of army personnel of every religious denomination that thronged the regimental gurudwara of the nearest Sikh battalion was the largest I had seen. I distinctly remember each officer and soldier who put his forehead to the ground to pay obeisance appeared to linger just a wee bit longer than usual. Was I imagining this? I do not think so. There was that empathy and caring implicit in the quality of the gesture that appeared to say, "You are hurt and we all understand."

Fine. Nice. Empathy is good anywhere. Have they asked themselves why they have to do what they do? It is better than putting the forehead to the ground and lingering a bit longer.

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We were deployed on the Line of Control those days. Soon after the news of disaffection among a small section of Sikh troops was broadcast on the BBC, Pakistani troops deployed opposite the Sikh battalion yelled across to express their 'solidarity' with the Sikhs.

The Sikh havildar shouted back that the Pakistanis had better not harbour any wrong notions. "If you dare move towards this post, we will mow you down."

So Santa Singh became Santa Claus for the Indian Army. This is his job. Why see it as a special gesture?

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Finally, a real - and true - gem.

Two boys of a Sikh regiment battalion were overheard discussing this a day before Christmas.

"Why are we having a holiday tomorrow?" asked Sepoy Karnail Singh.

"It is Christmas," replied the wiser Naik Gurmeet Singh.

"But what is Christmas?"

"Christmas," replied Naik Singh, with his eyes half shut in reverence and hands in a spontaneous prayer-clasp, "is the guruparb of the Christians."

Ok, a Sepoy would not know what is Christmas and he is supposed to rattle out the brand names of designer weapons. And a Naik who knows ups his GK quotient and becomes secular because he connects the celebration of something to do with his religion and another. Like taal se taal mila...

I wonder what he would have said if someone asked about the Last Supper. Would he call it temporary reincarnation? Or just say “Rab returning for holy langar”?

The New Sepoy Mutiny?

Who is Sudhanshu Sudhakar? He joined the Indian army in 2002; in 2007 he was dismissed for what reports refer to as “dubious activities”.

He has been arrested now. If the army had thrown him out for such activities, ought not the government to have been informed? Isn’t the government then supposed to keep tabs on such persons?

Let us get some basics right, first:

Five days before India and Pakistan’s ministers for external affairs are scheduled to meet in New York, Bihar police on Monday nabbed a dismissed Indian sepoy, suspected to be an agent of Pakistan’s Inter-Services Intelligence (ISI), and seized important Indian military documents from him.

Why are those five days before important? Was the arrest timed with the upcoming event?

Why is he referred to as a sepoy? In the days of British rule, those who were with the colonial army were called sepoys. One assumes the reference here is to his ‘allegiance’ with the ISI! A bit silly to use such nomenclature. And if it must be used, then it cannot be ‘dismissed Indian sepoy’…from what I understand we refer to soldiers as jawans.

Now, it is possible that a soldier is called a jawan irrespective of designation. But, if he were a high-ranking person I am sure it would be mentioned. Therefore, one might assume he wasn’t. So, how does he have access to important military documents and maps of key army installations? Even if he were super smart, it has been two years since he was rusticated. Is the information the same and the installations exactly where they were? If not, is there someone within the armed forces helping him?

He was on his way to Nepal to meet a “Kathmandu-based ISI conduit whom he identified as Rana”. The Intelligence Bureau tipped off the Bihar police about his whereabouts.

The IB gets to know about what this man is doing two years after his dismissal. The cops manage to get out the information that there is some Rana he is in touch with, who is with the ISI. Now what?

The two countries will bring it up in their meeting in New York. This is not for India or Pakistan. This is for America. The US will reprimand the two errant nations to behave, the blame game will continue. America will weep tears over terrorism. Huh? That’s right. It is about the Indian army. The ISI. But the US only knows one word.

- - -

A few days ago there was a news item about our Home Minister P Chidambaram giving US officials a list of 60 Pakistani terrorists killed by Indian security forces in various encounters in different parts of the country and another of 10 arrested in the last one year.

Our honourable minister did this act of boasting (or kowtowing?) before leaving on his US trip.

“Their names and addresses in Pakistan were given in the list,” the official said. The government is also contemplating launching a publicity blitzkrieg in Pakistani media about the activities of terrorists belonging to that country in India.

As though Barack Obama will put them up on a most wanted list when they are already dead or in prison. What fools. And what is there to launch a publicity stunt in the Pakistani media? This sounds like a gossip session of tu-tu-main-main. Dekho, tumhari kameez meri kameex se kitni ghandi hai…

News meeows - 21

Houses get destroyed. A temple and mosque survive the landslide. What can I say? I am the faithless. Faithless in terms of organised religion, if there is anything organised about religion at all.

Mid-week, in one of the suburbs of Mumbai, the boulders from a hill came tumbling down with the fury of the rains. A temple stood untouched; all the hutments in the area were crushed. Four years ago, there had been a terrible deluge. In the same locality 112 such tenements were destroyed, 83 people died. A mosque stood amidst the rubble without a scratch.

I am amazed about how people have reacted. Apparently, these holy structures have given shelter to those displaced. A local politician said, “This is nothing but a miracle. It has revived our faith in god during these tough times.”

Revived faith? Is faith about a structure? I am glad there was a temple and a mosque. Now, there is talk about how people of all religions are praying at these places. If I know my city well enough, those from the lower strata have always been quite democratic in their beliefs. Every god is good enough.

But the real miracle would have been if the landslide had spared the homes of these people. If god is everywhere, then god does not need a home. People do, and they build it bit by bit, with hope for a better morrow. The even bigger miracle will be when people stop constructing places of worship in every lane and start building hospitals and proper homes and make sure that every year the financial capital of India does not make the city go haywire with one rainfall.

The gods are extremely partial and save their own homes. Sorry, this one’s not biting the bait.

- - -

I do not know how an Army Chief is supposed to behave, but General Deepak Kapoor’s statement about ceasefire violations by the Pakistani army to enable militants to infiltrate into India and “disrupt” the peace in Jammu and Kashmir don’t give out the right signals.

It makes us look as though we cannot deal with such violations.

“Firing is used as a diversionary tactic,” Kapoor said, adding that the only goal is to push in more and more people. He, however, said the Indian troops are alert and have foiled many such attempts at the borders.

Ok. So the Pakistani army uses diversionary tactics, we know about it, we are alert and have foiled many such attempts. This is a matter that should be discussed internally, at the army headquarters and with the defence ministry, and not be accessible to the media, the public and the Pakistani army.

The armed forces are about pugnacity. It is no occasion or reason to try victimhood. Or large-heartedness about how we will honour the ceasefire pact. Are we being given points on good behaviour or something? And by whom?

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While ordinary Dalits strive to get accepted, Uttar Pradesh chief minister Mayawati is becoming larger than life. In an exhibition in Lucknow, she has been painted as a goddess, the ‘Dalit Devi’. Some fine arts student decides to get some reflected glory, but she ought to have better sense.


The concept of gods and goddesses are rich pastimes and certainly not for Dalits who have had to battle the faith itself. It is hugely ironical that Mayawati is not objecting to such deification; the statues are vanity and maybe to prove a point. There is one painting in which she is nestled among lotus petals with Kanshi Ram on one side and Dr. B.R.Ambedkar on the other. It is time for her to take a reality check. The lotus is a flower, our national flower (whatever that means), but it is also the BJP symbol. And this image represents Lakshmi, the goddess of wealth. This is sheer mockery.

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Huh?

TOI caption: Ramzan shopping is in full swing at Bhendi Bazaar

This is from The Times of India. Find a group of women in veils, in Bhendi Bazaar (where else?), and assume that they are carrying bags so they must be shopping for Ramzan. What does that mean? They are buying dates, fruits, kebabs for the evening? A little education: Muslim women can shop for other things for daily living. And if you want to emphasise the festive nature of the shopping, then it is for Eid, which is at the end of Ramzan. And women and men who practise the faith will not shop before the Eid moon is sighted.

So, stop getting excited and brush up on some basics.

- - -

Poll results:

Jaswant Singh’s book makes you:

understand Jinnah - 5%; understand past Indian leaders - 10%; understand Partition - 15%; understand Pakistan - 5%; understand BJP - 31%; understand Marketing - 26%; understand Indo-Pak current problems - 10%; What book? - 26%

So, hate me as much as you will, but most of you are with me. That the book reveals more about the BJP and marketing than about Jinnah!

Jest like that

Brazil’s President Luiz Lula Da Silva presents a soccer shirt signed by the Brazilian national team to PM Manmohan Singh in Italy

Why does our PM’s expression convey that ‘man mein laddu photo rahe hai’? Chak de phattey!

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Malayalam superstar Mohan Lal with defence minister A K Antony after he was conferred the honorary rank of lieutenant colonel in the Territorial Army

If mascot is what the Indian Army wants, Mohan Lal can be like Bheema instead of this Lt.Curl-null business. What happened to Kapil Paaji and his army stint that I had talked about? And that Viveik Oberoi?

News meeows - 19

In a radically new move, the army has decided to screen candidates for soldiership through a written examination first, followed by a physical test. Only those who clear the written test will be allowed to appear in physical test and interview before the final selection. However, even though we aim to attract sharp-minded people, physical parameters for recruits remain the same, Major Kaushik Sarbadhikari, spokesperson of the recruiting office.

The headline is deceptive. Written tests are about general questions. They might reveal knowledge, not sharp-mindedness, which is how you think when you are faced with a situation or in action. And let us face it, being in the army for the majority of jawans on the front, means how to manoeuvre their way through rough terrain, handle arms and use them.

It says the formula is meant not only to attract sharp people but to eliminate incidents of stampede during recruitment rallies

If you ask me, these should be televised so that people can see how popular it is to join the forces, instead of those public service campaigns asking young people to serve the country. We like herds. Just watch them at bargain sales. Same principle applies everywhere.

However, I do not understand: Are those who have passed the written test less prone to pushing and shoving?

45% of girls married off before 18

Child marriage was banned in 1929, but it continues. We still see pictures in the papers. These are age-old practices and the law can do precious little. What is needed is education and a ground-level movement.

There is a tele-serial being aired called Ballika Vadhu; it is hugely popular and I must say it is well-made. The message against child marriage is flashed at the end, but when you see this cute child couple it does not make it look as horrendous as it is. This is dangerous. Worse, the young daughter of the rich family has become a widow and has chosen to be secluded.

Throughout she was shown as a carefree girl, asking questions, being allowed to do what she wants, with progressive parents. Now, only because her husband was killed on his way to take her home after she came of age, she has chosen this life of prayer and sleeping on the floor.

It gives out a completely wrong message.

In fact, here social class has little to do with how the girl is treated. The higher the class, the greater the clutch of customs. The poor think this is the model to follow…it is a vicious circle and we cannot talk about a New India till we get rid of the old.

Post Mumbai - do we need an Emergency?

We did not need an Emergency in 1977. That was a drastic move by a power-hungry Indira Gandhi who wanted all Opposition to be silenced.

Now, the reasons are the breakdown of the whole system. This incident should remind us that North, South, East, West are all trouble areas.

The ruling alliance at the Centre is anyway not going to win the next elections, so it can declare a state of emergency and concentrate on beefing up security.

Right now every state is running its own show as it pleases. We need to be cohesive.

Muzzle the media for a while; this will make the terrorists feel helpless. If their bosses don’t see the success of the job being done, and it does not reach the international media, then it would be like conducting an orchestra within the confines of a sound-proof room.

Get all the Forces – the Army, Navy, Airforce – to work out a joint combing strategy.

Since most of our leaders get Z- plus security and are generally safe, get these same security people to train the rest.

The Opposition parties must be taken into confidence and a fixed date for elections announced together with the Emergency.

Every housing society or office complex must be made responsible for its own security that will be answerable to the local police chowkie; more chowkies are needed.

Citizen’s groups that have been talking big over their canapés should be asked to volunteer in the Territorial Army where they can get trained and then help out to patrol the cities.

Airports, sea routes, train stations should be high-security zones. (For example, travel to Sri Lanka and they check you at least a kilometre away from the airport, then twice or thrice inside and again before you board the aircraft.)

Pending civil cases in the courts must be expedited; criminal cases followed up; long-term undertrials given priority.

All public religious meetings/prayers must be stopped. Festivals that are celebrated in the street will have to be restricted. Places of worship should be instructed to take care of their own security and those of the worshippers. In the event of failure, the people in charge of the mosque, temple, church will be held culpable.

If some of us are considered irresponsible only because we ask questions, then let us go the whole hog.

I know there are many loopholes in this post and it is not even ethical. But at least it is suggesting something pro-active.

The Constitution does not allow it, but had it been possible one would propose that Narendra Modi be installed as acting Prime Minister – or give it some other name. Let us see how he manages. After all, when we shop for anything expensive we are given the option of trying it out and purchasing it on approval and then given a warranty.

It is time to treat our leaders as commodities. The age of ‘public servants’ acting like our masters is over.

The army, a jealous VHP and the kissing sanyasin

…all you wanted to know about Hindutva’s new package

Dekha na, hai re socha na

Though the army views Lt-Colonel Shrikant Prasad Purohit’s arrest in connection with the Malegaon blasts as “a one-off ’’ incident in the “apolitical and disciplined’’ 1.13-million strong force, it admits its reputation has been tarnished.

Lt-General army deputy chief (planning and systems) Lt-General S P S Dhillon said “though this is a freak incident, our image has been dented nevertheless.”

Oh, so it’s all about the image, stupid. Not a word about terrorism, about the role of the army, and the rule of law. And freak incident it is not, since there was planning that went in it. What does the Lt-General mean by:

“We have our own mechanism for keeping a check on these kind of things”?

Is this some special secret? Should the junta not be privy as to how to keep a check on these things? Teach us so we won’t need you to leave your jobs and march down curfew streets.

Uff-uff mirchi

Shrikant Purohit, who could impress many with his views on the need to retaliate against “jehadi terror’’, had managed to win over many VHP activists who found the Parishad’s agenda “too mild’’ for their taste. His organisation, Abhinav Bharat, gave them the exalted title of Chanakya—after the legendary advisor to the Mauryan emperor Chandragupta.

See, this is how the army’s loss is Hindutva's gain. They have a strategist who knows how the army works. They are the real angry young men; Advani has not yet complained of weak knees and imported some NRI doc to operate on them, like dear mukhota Vajpayee, but he is getting on. Just watching taare zameen par is not going to make him twinkle for long.

And there are reports that this Lt. Colonel is also a fitness buff. Brawn and brains can make lamb chops of the most hardened rival.

The rival as it turns out is Pravin Togadia.

VHP leader Pravin Togadia may have styled himself as a fire-spewing radical, but he feared being overshadowed by Purohit, the serving Lt Colonel who has been arrested for the Malegaon blast and who has since acknowledged his role in plotting the September 29 “revenge terror” act.

Everyone wants to get into this revenge thing.

Pravin bhai, wot is this? Some Purohit coming and taking away your whirr-whirr thunder and you left everything in Amrika, your doctori, to sit and look at beemar mans and womans? I am also Gujarat ni shaan (haan, haan, why we must be mo-dust?), we should jeevaanu shaan thi, marvaanu shaan thi…you better get up. You should be in national committee for making undhiyon, our Gujju speciality where all vegetable mixing with big balls of bajra, everyone chaatoing finger like it is french fry. Finger baba.

I know, I know, you look surprise why I taking your side suddenly. Inside actually I understand you deeply. I know you are making mark with stains but you must not look like Modi bhai’s chamcha. You are big fat NRI. Put foot down…why peepuls say that…foot will be down only no? Haha…must laugh, otherwise all khunnas will remain inside and eat intestine.

You said, "No Hindu can be a terrorist."

Why? Not all Hindus eating daal-dhokla, sitting on khaat with thaat. I am not doing anymore rhyming or khaali-pilli I will get into trouble with Hajmola manufacturer.

You said, "I do not know Pragnya Singh at all.”

You want introduction? She will take you on ride on her bike. She is strong woman. Good choice. Not like Uma Bharti. No shame this sadhvi having. She slapped some party worker. Who knows Anil Rai, Bharatiya Jan Shakti (BJS) Chhindwara general secretary? Where is this Chhindwara firstly?

Reports said:

“She slapped him in full public view, then kissed him on the forehead for cameras and later gave up food to atone for her loss of control.”

What was loss of control no one explaining – the slap or the kiss? Now she is feeling bad and making stomach suffer. How Hindutva will fight Islamic terrorists on empty stomach? Once she also sat on Murli Manohar Joshi’s lap. I am telling you there is need to save Hindutva otherwise all this tamasha will make it look like some Ekta Kapoor serial: Sadhvi Bhi Kabhi Aurat Thi.

You take care, Pravin bhai, like Amrikanese say. You are like local James Bond martini – little shaken but not stirred.

Here, gift for your wall…

Muaah-muaah, Uma

Jaswant Singh: "...the Army had better awaken to reality"

This is an excerpt from Jaswant Singh's book A Call to Honour - In service of emergent India by Jaswant Singh, Rupa & Co.:

On military training

Technically, there was little I found difficult in all this military training. It was all clearly so exaggerated, needlessly loud and overbearing, and especially concentrated too, so as to break us in quickly. And for most, that breaking-in was permanent. As I tried to cope with the daily assault on my sensibilities, and upon my incurably free spirit, this 'understanding' helped me arrive at just the appropriate response: 'I must preserve myself and not sink into the anonymity of totally submissive obedience. For this, technical excellence in the "externals" of what is being imparted is training, is all that is needed.' That brought me privacy, saved my self-respect and spirit, too. Was this not the aim of all this bullying and hectoring after all: to inculcate qualities of individuality, initiative, the ability to think and act on one's own? I doubt it. The system really works for developing conformity, not individuality, unthinking obedience, not questioning assent.

Military training gave me a very great deal, infinitely more than what it took. What I had to give was conformity and obedience, even a pretence sufficed. In return, I got self-control, a sense or regulating time, much greater self-discipline. Vigorous physical training, coming on top of an already led outdoors life and upbringing, became a kind of fixed deposit of value, of habit, of exercising the body daily. A certain military directness replaced the rounded courtesies of village dialect.

...The schedule and pace of military training was such as to leave hardly any free play in the mind. If you gave yourself up then it would suck you down, instantly.

On Commissioning

I already knew, had perhaps always known, that I was not going to be in the army for good.

On military service

My commissioned service in the Army of just about nine years, 15 December 1957 - 22 November 1966, has no place in this narrative. I joined in what I term as the 'golden age of cantonment soldiering' in India. We soldiered as we imagined fabled cavalry must have done at one time, therefore, we too must follow suit: 'Cavalry, Sir, is to lend colour to battle to add style to what is otherwise just an unseemly squabble', 'Officers, Sir, are to lead men into battle, not muck around all the time on piffle like inspections and parades and all that...' An officer at Jhansi railway station, aping the 'mythical' Brabazon to the flusterd and hapless station master, after being informed that the train to Delhi had gone: 'Gone?' the officer asked in a gimlet-soaked drawl, 'what do you mean gone? Get another, instantly, go and get another train, now.'

I realised soon enough that all this was empty posturing, this living as caricatures; that the Army had better awaken to reality. I sought a formal interview and asked for permission to resign. I had barely two years of service. 'Why?' a rather jovial, bon-vivantish colonel commandant asked. He was a great raconteur and he truly couldn't grasp what I meant when I said: 'To write Sir, I need leisure to do so, and I am losing time.' Astounded he asked: 'How old are you?' 'Twenty-one, Sir,' 'Twenty-one! You are mad! The maximum leisure is here in the Army, not outside. Look at me... I have all the time I want, so much that I don't know what to do with it.' I did not succeed then, but I was not deterred from my objective either.

As a reflex, I volunteered for all the impossible seeming missions, the many reconnaissance in the Himalayas that were then being ordered....

In 1966, I resigned. When asked to give reasons, I stated clearly: 'To join politics.' I had no pension, I did not want one, and, of course, no other 'terminal benefits' from the Army. My service with it was the great benefit, and what the Army gave me, taught me, left with me is my priceless pension.

The Army responds - 3

Here is a letter published, finally.

Matter Of Honour

Sir, The pen is undoubtedly mightier than the sword. But might is not proved by denigrating articles based on isolated personal experiences and apparent biases, such as In Arm’s Way by Farzana Versey (October 16). The absence of problems is Utopia — non-existent everywhere, including in the Indian Army. As it draws its rank and file from society, the Army is not insulated from the problems of society. To say that there are instances of corruption, sexual harassment and so on in the Army is thus no investigative journalism. But trashing an organisation with the credentials like that of the Indian Army, on the basis of a few aberrations, is naïve. It is demeaning to the thousands of non-aberrant people who are part of the same organisation, and tirelessly face privations, even death, so that citizens like the writer can enjoy the freedom to express her opinion at will. There have been cases of misdemeanour of different kinds in the Army. But is the Army "one of the most corrupt institutions in the country" because of that? Where is the data to prove the claim? The writer is also oblivious of the speed with which each manifestation of such aberrant behaviour is dealt with by the Army. As for her advice to the Army to "stop glorifying the profession and treat it as another job," in the course of which other job is a person expected to lead or follow his comrades into situations that are likely to cause grievous bodily harm, or even death? The soldier does not brave all odds and even lay down his life if required for the few thousand rupees that he is paid. He does it for izzat — his own, that of his unit, and of the country. Our nation will live to rue the day the Army stops glorifying the soldier’s job and starts treating it like any other profession.

Lt. Gen. (Retd) R.P. Agarwal

- - -

My reply:

October 21, 2007

Dear Lt. Gen. (Retd) R. P. Agarwal:

To begin with, let me thank you for addressing your views to the newspaper in the letter in today's Asian Age. I had been waiting for someone to do so since from the Tuesday it was published I have been inundated with feedback. The email route has been chosen only by a few; most have traced my blog and used it to spew the venom I have been accused of.

We shall come to that in a bit. Since you are not aware of the exchanges, I will have to repeat some of what I have been saying to answer your points:

- Does questioning certain negative aspects of an organisation, that too one that is considered noble, a result of "personal experiences and biases"? Will you be able to dispute any of the incidents, except perhaps of the Colonel who shot pigeons, which going by the way people have reacted appears to have caused a lot of anger? (Should I say it is due to some negative personal experience? Would it be right to reach such sweeping conclusions about people I do not know?)

- You are indeed right when you talk about the inability to have a Utopian organisation without problems. And of course the Army draws its members from society. Therefore, if I or anyone pulls up other aspects of society, then the Army is equally to be called upon to question. I have not spared the media's fake sting operations, either.

- I gather that you might read newspapers regularly. You do read of doctors who have carelessly performed surgeries that ended in death or who refused to accept patients. These cases are reported, citizens of this country and any civil society will have an opinion. It does not mean the medical profession is bad, but when you read about such instances folks who are dependent on such professions will question it. We can change our choice of doctors; we cannot do much about who joins the Army and how certain "bad eggs" conduct themselves.

- Had you read the article carefully you would realise that I did not "advice the Army" to stop glorifying the profession and treat it as another job. These were my words: "The number of soldiers who commit suicide or are killed by their colleagues exceed those killed by enemy fire. If only we stopped glorifying the profession and treated it as another job, then perhaps there would be less pressure on the need to be macho."

- The Army must glorify its soldiers, though it would be nice if it also took to task those that committed "misdemeanours" that you yourself have agreed exist.

- You mention that what I wrote is not "investigative journalism". May I venture to say here that I am glad it isn't, for there would have been far more damaging instances, all factually recorded? I have as a matter of fact followed a stringent self-censorship. I realise of course that the 'facile' examples have been commented on because they indeed have touched a raw nerve.

- I will add here that there have been two officers of your Force who have given me an insight into the real life of soldiers. They believe in the organisation, but are not blind to its flaws; they know the value of discourse and have indulged in it in the best way possible.

For the rest, it will dishearten you to know that there have been personal attacks by people who are hiding their identity. However, I will be providing the information to the gentleman officer who is in charge of the image of the Army. Perhaps he will know exactly what the brave soldiers do for the reputation of the organisation they claim to be fighting for and take any action that might be necessary. It isn't too difficult to trace the miscreants, I should hope.

- While I avoid using gender as a matter of discussion, the comments reveal a patriarchal mindset that has hit out at this very aspect. I do not wish to be treated like a "lady" but there is no way I want to be patronised or have hollow male talk thrust on me. Had anyone else indulged in it, it would have been deemed harassment. I hope you as an honourable officer, gentleman and human being will understand that.

- Information about me and my work is accessible and available to read and scrutinise. Therefore, it amuses me to listen to comments about "maturing in my career"…this is so typically sophomore that it does not deserve a reaction. Obviously, they do not wish to see the material that stares them in the face and tells them about the other work I have done for years, do and will continue doing. I do not know the credentials of these individuals, where they come from, or where they are posted. At the moment, they do appear to have a lot of time, though. If you read the comments you will realise that the example of the Colonel serves as a perfect metaphor for precisely this sort of chest-puffing.

- One has read about how political corruption is rampant. I could not agree more and it pains me to have some of these people be called our leaders. I can imagine the pain soldiers would feel when a scam-ridden politician dies and they have to offer him a gun salute.

- To end, I must say that despite the spamming on my personal blog by the 'brave' soldiers, I have learned a lot and there is enough material for at least a couple of more articles should I wish to do so. Unfortunately, they have not taught me about the good aspects. My forum now shows civilians exactly how some of your aberrant soldiers are as much as it has caused disillusionment to the officers I know.

- With the best possible intention of engaging in a discourse, I indulged the wrong people. I should have refrained and only talked to the genuine ones.

I am enclosing an article by Jaswant Singh as well as some of the comments and links. I have refrained from correcting the spelling and other grammatical errors in the attachment since it must not appear that I have tampered with them, for that is how they appear to the public. I am sure it will not further harm the reputation of the Forces in any way. If it helps, I cannot hold a gun, let alone shoot.

With very best wishes,
Farzana Versey

- - -

PS: Irony hit me: The Retd. Lt. Gen has also appeared on the blog! What can I say? May I add that the text of his letter posted above is the one that was published...what the officer has put in the post below is not the way it has appeared in print.

PPS: Until now I have permitted some people's comments to pass in the spirit of a dialogue, but they can and do have other space for personal abuse which they may utilise. This place has several other things I enjoy writing about. Besides, spamming is considered a cyber crime. Therefore, until they get their act together, their posts will be moderated and what I deem unsuitable and a repetition will be deleted from the earlier lot. Or maybe not. It is interesting that the officer while choosing to post his letter and that of another person did not look at the rubbish that preceded it.

The Army responds - 2

This note has been posted in the comments section. I felt it requires a detailed response. I welcome whatever criticism I get, but I think I have pretty much said what I have wanted to for now.

- - -

Dear Lady,

1 I read your article and was surprised on lack of understanding of how armed forces function because of a few bad eggs which is there in every org and society including foreign armies.

2 Next time you write another article disgracing Indian Army, consider following

(a) Every time I went on leave from a field/ops/RR or for that matter, reached Guhati or jammu , I felt it was a different world, nobody like you was aware how we were serving in what conditions..

( b) A common man even my own brother were never aware of how a dead body gets stiff within seconds, how a man loses his limbs in seconds on a patrol when RPG blast through a vehicle body or how a full family in a village or a town is destroyed when their son, brother or husband ie an officer/soldier becomes a fatal or nonfatal cas.

( c) Infact at Jammu I am surprised that there is no security conscientious on seeing a package kept in the bus and passenger absconding till a bus blast takes place and then journalist like you curse security forces.

( d) Infact we shift TV channels fast to see Sanjay dutt smiling and shaking handshake with Jail warden as we feel watching a casket of dead officer on TV is boring.

( e) We also feel sympathetic for SANJAY Dutt but no feeling for that widow of a martyr soldier . The TV also does not waste time on them as there will be a loss in TV ratings. Why don’t you haul up TV channels for all this nonsense as breaking news for them is anything other than an officer or a Jawan ha sided, it is a routine liner for all to read and forget about it and enjoy the sas bahu serial.

( f) We also allow you to claim that you have been pursing POW s status, Don’t we know it is for media mileage, how many children you have adopted or widows cared for or Ex Serviceman looked after. Have you visited a leper Colony in NE Along where the army has adopted the whole village.

( g) We also allow you to rubbish our Services on a few bad eggs, but we don’t hear you claiming Film Industry is bad because of Underworld nexus links or Industrialist not paying taxes despite being photographed for richest Indian in the world etcccccc because then you will not be invited for page 2 parties.

( h) I think you must make visit to real working conditions of J& K /NE of Indian army where motivated youngsters and Jawans are living in pathetic conditions and fighting enemy so that you can party around, making paintings etc. Every ni at least a million jawans are on guard all over the country so that you can sleep. Every Ni a boy dies in Jungles of J&K so that your boy/ relative can play around safely.

( j) Now why do you crib on those who are leaving, it is not wrong as every man has a right to grow in life. If not here somewhere else. At least they have given best part of their youth to this country when you were living a secured life,

2 Judge the services for what they are doing for your existence, not on a few incidents.

regards brando

- - -

My reply

Dear Brando:

Thank you for the detailed response. Here is what I have to say...

My article was not about how the armed forces function; let me clarify that, just in case it has not come across. These were about the bad eggs, and agreed they are there in every organisation.

I completely understand what you are saying, from the perspective of an outsider, and you will appreciate I am not making tall claims about knowing how it feels to be in your shoes; I cannot. I also accept that the public lack security consciousness (as well as civic).

I cannot even ask you to read my earlier posts to know that I have shown no sympathy for how the media portrays the film industry, industrialists, even NGOs and the so-called fast-track justice reserved for some favoured groups. I have taken up those issues, but I will not expect you to read those because it isn’t important enough. You just have to take my word for it. And I say this because you do not know me and feel the need to lay down my POV with regard to those others, since you have reached conclusions about me personally.

I have written against the Sanjay Dutt tamasha. And how TV channels went overboard with this. However, these same TV channels take film stars to different army postings and we see the jawans asking them questions and performing for them. I suppose you don’t mind that.

Do you think TV channels showing the casket of a dead soldier would help your cause? Wouldn’t it be of far greater importance if the soldiers had raised a voice against the infamous coffin deal?

You say, with much arrogance (and I am afraid I am not given to pussyfooting), “We also allow you to claim that you have been pursing POW s status, Don’t we know it is for media mileage, how many children you have adopted or widows cared for or Ex Serviceman looked after. Have you visited a leper Colony in NE Along where the army has adopted the whole village.”

You do not allow me, you cannot, because the claim is a reality and on record and been appreciated by those families who are pursuing the case without any help from your Armed Forces, whose business it should be along with the inept and completely heartless attitude of the various governments in power. You are talking about feeling sympathy for the widow of a martyr…what about those who had to pretend to be widows at that time? Is it history for you too? This will not dissuade me from writing about the issue again, if I think it should be brought to attention. Because I don’t feel the need to get defensive about my actions only because of a few disgruntled people who want us to accept that there are bad eggs, but do not realise that it is not a good thing to have them. The fact is you have not been able to counter anything I have said.

When I first wrote about the POW issue, it was on my own during a casual conversation. I was not even sure about what it would entail and I had difficulty getting it published. I don’t have organisational backing. If I wanted media mileage, I could write on film stars, right? By questioning my motives, you are contradicting your own assertion that those get more people interested. And do not forget it was the Army who invited Vivek Oberoi to join it; I don’t give a tosh for him or anyone.

I do not party at all, and do not get invited to these socialite ones, just in case it is of any consequence. I am sure the mess has many more of those; the Navy Ball in my city is a big hit. Incidentally, do you realise that there are some sections that I write about who do not even have the facilities and the basic skills to convey the privations they go through? Because they are illiterate, poor and lack marketing skills, if they even know what that is.

You, my friend, are in no position to allow me to write or not write on anything, okay? But if you have time, click on the labels column, article, media and you might find something that will show you that I do a little more than just paint. I don’t have any idea why these poor paintings have become a target. I am certain if an armyman painted, he would be feted in the same Page 3 you criticise and been quite happy about it. Oh yes, I have also been extremely critical of the Page 3 types…

I am not denying there are a million jawans posted in various parts of the border areas; I will even grant that in some ways I can sleep safely because of that…it might interest you to know that a few blocks from my secured existence (had to add special grilles during the 1993 riots) a retired armyman has bought a house worth Rs. 8 crore. I am sure he has earned his stripes.

I am not cribbing about people leaving the Services. It is a relevant question and after all that you have written about my secure existence and sleeping well while you guys are in some remote areas (all true), you should be wondering about it too. If you think “it is not wrong as every man has a right to grow in life”, then you are in fact suggesting that growth within the army is of less consequence, that an armyman is allowed to go out and seek better avenues whereas an ordinary citizen cannot paint or write and has to feel indebted to such an Army and not raise a voice at all…in reality it is not my criticism that is harmful but these people leaving that is a slap to the organisation.

You should also be asking yourselves why there are so many suicides, why armymen are killing each other.

You may ask me to keep quiet (that I won’t is another matter), but will you be able to stem the rot? It is heart-warming to know that the Army has adopted a leper colony in the North East; the Army has; not an individual armyman. Right? So, how and why do you ask me as an individual to do so? Do you know what I do for what may be termed ‘less privileged’ people, and not just by writing but contributing in any way I can?

I would visit those camps you tell me about, but going by your reasoning would you not accuse me of doing it for media mileage?

The idea is not to sound insensitive to what soldiers go through but to look at other aspects as well.

“paye fateha koi aaye kyon koi chaar phool chadaaye kyon
koi aake shammaa jalaaye kyon main woh bekasi ka mazaar hoon”

This couplet by Zafar could apply to anyone who is helpless…should we create a tomb for that or transform the helplessness into vigilance?

Best wishes,

FV