What's up, dork?

I prefer Woody Allen to George Clooney, but not because he would treat me like a babe in the geek-woods. I like the language – cinematic and verbal – that he employs. Clooney comes across as rather complacently confident.

While I am aware he won’t be devastated by this little snub and Allen is unlikely to be flattered, I am on the case of one more study that decides on the basis of what 3000 women say that women love guys who can fix things rather than those who spend hours at the gym.

Obviously, it is a partisan survey because it was conducted by the 24/7 technology support service Geek Squad. They say:

“These results will be a blow for the millions of men who workout in a bid to appear more attractive to the opposite sex.”

Most men are not working out to be more attractive to women but to compete with their peers. No one notices if James Bond is with dumbbells, but he exudes power and can also fix things. Yet, except for his rather unemotional alliances, he is more a man’s man.

The survey results state that women prefer a man who can help sort out the TV, stereo, and home computer. This makes quite a few of them feel cared for.

I find it rather chauvinistic, this aura of dependency. It ignores the fact that a woman can hire help for such tasks if they cannot fix things themselves. I admit I cannot, but when I give the gadget a nice male punch it often starts crackling back to life. However, there are women who can do such things with finesse and expertise.

It also belittles the male by slotting him as a mechanic. Fixing things might be skilled labour, but it does not denote intelligence as a natural consequence. And can a woman not feel cared for if a man just carries her shopping bags, has a few muscles, and woos her with limericks? Besides, a man who takes care of himself is not always about abs and biceps but just basic hygiene and neatness.

The dork who does not care if his toenails are fungus-ridden and smells of yesterday’s pizza crumbs would hardly convey the impression that he can care for anyone. Except perhaps that computer virus.