Why Modi Refused Spandex Tights

Only crowns will do

My friend from Rajkot, Karsanbhai - "call me Kairi (Kerry), like ole IIM importex peepul are doing" - runs a shoppe selling sale phone eelektrone and all. He is also homosexyual. And very angry.

He wanted his chief minister Narendra Modi to wear spandex tights. "I thot sadbhavna is good occasun to show davelupmeint of gas (gays) kominitee, so I toll SRK, maane Saan Rupes Kapdawala (he is producsun of mix masala meridge), we will olso go and do harmoney. We are leeving sample of davelupmeint, and sucksex of bhavna's sambhavna and sadbhavna. We thot and thot wot to geev. SRK said we will take rainbow flag. I said to him no baba rainbow has not goat saffron. Then we thot peacock feather, fur stall (stole), even letest Perees Heelturn beig to sow glaubalisasun and Perees is olso gas ikaun, na?

But SRK is little scare type. He is poor thing coat between his gasness and his Mussalmanness. He is saying if Narendrabhai says no to purse, then hole world will feel insult just like that maulana is saying Modi is insulting Islam only because he did not wear skull cape. I like SRK and all Muslims basically. But why is cape called skull only becoz it is on skull? Then why cowboy hat is not on top of cowboy?

Muslims are very touching, no, no, not like that. I am saying they are getting hurt for little little thing. Now Islam is big religion, even Dharmendra became Mussalman and Obama is also small part Muslim. How cape will insult Islam? Why they are shouting Allah-hu=Akbar when man who was ruling when 2002 heppened? This is not insult to ordinary Mussalman? I am saying it is non-issue. RSS olso saying same thing. I am not RSS. They are saying dawn pees Muslims, we have to stand for Hindu. I am standing for Hindu, but I can pees Muslims oslo. Bakwas is going on and on, and fasting is over but no one is telling our story. Hole time how to hurt Muslim or pees Muslim. I am with Muslim and loving it, like Mac bhai saying.

SRK swallowed anger, ate ten khakhras and said with brein vhew, "Why not give him spendex tights?" My bhejo went all round. It was gud idea. Simball of gasness and olso harmoney and closeness. So we took nice orange peir, XL for some lajja. We pecked it in khadi beig to sow Gandhian vel-you. Modi's chamchas wonted us to stay out. Place was full of skull capes and bhagwa dhotis. Too much attrecsun, I am telling you. SRK looked hurt, this time not like Muslim type, but gas type. He is too much attach. I must detach. What if Hindu rashtra comes? I toll him note to whurry. I was only looking.

Finally some bhakt from SIT took us inside. Narendrabhai looked weak but had hello round his hade. Later I found it was light bulb. We have packet. He thot it was kurta or something. His food tester opened. I was wondering how food tester is doing this. Bhakt said food tester tests everything becoz test buds are more powerful. Thet is why Modibhai is so orally gud, haan?

But he sow the spendex tight and said, "I do not wear Spandex tights," and ask SRK to give him his shawl. That shawl had all calligraphy is Arbi, but Modi thot it was design from Amdavad febrix. You know Mallikaben Sarabhai hes museum, I think. Why she is bringing bribery case from so long back now in open? I am liking her. She is all for gas. Leebral types hev to be or thier ghoos will become cook!

I brot this topic up becoz all are toking about skull cape and this will be fourgoaten staury. For informasun, SRK and I am heppy that Narendrabhai did not take spandex tight but he is in posessun of gas bag.

PS: The above is a fiction. Should anyone find it believable, do let me know what other categories can be peesed....I mean, appeased.

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The language is Gujarati-accented English. I am afraid, I cannot make it intelligible for those who are not acquainted with it. Please ber with me!


  1. I almost phil like u r tryin to maike phun of me. :)

  2. I grin and ber it. Par meri beri se ber mat toro ..

  3. Very unlike you but Brilliant...Maaza ave gayo...gaas OMG

  4. Heetesh:

    Hwy I will meik phun of you knowing all time you are one of six crore garbhvati Gujaratis?? I veel never hurt your pheeling knowing you are sickular, but not hemmer and sickal comanist :)


    I am thankful for your greening and bering, but I am not todi-phoding anything. Not to whurry, I am pissful like that.


    I am like this only. When mood is coming then I am also! Thank you, your majaa is my mauja, even if I am not gas...

  5. Very funny at least the parts I could make sense of. Being a Telugu person my pronunciation is not so great, but this was especially hard to read since Gujarati sound is so foreign to me. I wonder how hard it was to write what you wrote. Did you whip it out in one flow?

  6. Sai:

    I can understand that it might have been tough reading unless one is fairly acquainted with the accent/language. I do have a working knowledge of Gujarati, but yet 'anglicising' it is different. Yes, such pieces have to flow...at least for me.


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