I had been delayed, or so I thought. Spent too much time at the counter buying chocolates; I had gone to pick up a packet of face tissues. I thought I heard the flight announcement. I was carrying little. Turned out that there was still time. Bought a Diet Coke. I hate cans. Got a Styrofoam glass. Took small sips. And watched. Nothing.
Was snapped out by a voice saying, “Madam, madam…”
He smiled and showed me a piece of paper. He wants a donation? No. He was showing me his name. Then he said, “I want to use your phone.”
He lived in China. In this sea of people he could only find me? I am often stupid enough to permit such usage. This time, since I had been watching nothing, I was blank and fresh. So, I said, “Ask the men.”
“Oh, nothing like that. I wanted to give a missed call to my wife.”
Fine. Ask the men.
As happens almost always, I began thinking about the scenarios. The call could be made to a drug dealer, some gangster. Or the wife. The deadliest scenario.
Wife calls back. Asks, who are you? I tell her who I am. Where are you? I tell her where I am. Do you know who called me? I would tell her who called her. Then why is he with you? I would tell her we are flying the same flight. And why are you flying together?
Bloody hell. Because there are over a hundred others doing the same and we are all planning an orgy in the air.
Mr. Shanghai shrugged when I said no and went on his way…
Another fellow sitting across with a thick book was smiling. More to himself. We said nothing, got into the van to take us to the aircraft. I heard a voice, “Madam, madam…”
It was Mr Thick Book. “I think I have seen you somewhere? Where you from?”
“Here.”
“Oh…but I have seen you…”
“Maybe…”
After the flight on the van at our destination, he stood near me. He had a nice watch. “Nice flight,” he said.
“Maybe.”
“So, where are you putting up?”
“Don’t know.”
I looked at his book. It appeared like something on art. He turned the pages. There were women draped in all kinds of dressy clothes.
“I am into fashion,” he said.
Instinctively I looked at my crushed cotton kurta, stretch churidar and crumpled dupatta.
“You are doing business?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Export-import?”
“Only export. I write.”
“Oh, we are so same field. Fashion and writing!”
“Indeed.”
I think I write quite stylishly, I told myself, as I swung my dupatta and walked towards the exit.
31.7.09
Why can't Emraan Hashmi get a house?
Why do Muslims have to recite the bhojan mantra?
Emraan Hashmi has been denied a flat in Pali Hill because he is a Muslim. We have gone through this before, and I mean before the Shabana Azmi tamasha. Why do I call the latter a tamasha and not what is happening to Hashmi, who I know little about? Because he has filed a complaint with the State Minorities Commission (SMC), demanding action against the society members.
Now, this is a real case with details. It is an old building, Nibbana Cooperative Society, and at least in the past many actors lived there. The seller of the apartment has no problem; he is a Hindu. The broker is a Hindu. What shocked me was what the secretary, a certain J P Chetry, said:
Oh, sure. No one asked or brought this up. The talk was about discrimination based on faith; it could have been based on gender or profession. This has to stop. I do not want to repeat my own example. But here is another quote from a person who is clearly not a Muslim (isn’t it a shame that I have to resort to this?):
This is a very smart tactic. Once the building comes up, the society will permit you to do anything. Muslims will, of course, not sign any such undertaking.
I am aware there are societies and colonies where different communities choose to live – be it Parsis, Christians, Jains, Sikhs. This usually happens because certain businesses are concentrated in particular areas or because some places are deliberately bought to keep the area exclusive.
However, for those who have always lived in and wish to lead cosmopolitan lives in a city that claims to be all of this, it is a shame. I will not buy any of the reasons dished out because I have had first-hand experience mentioned before.
There will some who will term this a publicity stunt. If Hashmi wants that, he only has to announce one more kissing scene in a film.
Now, will someone come up with the argument that this is the reason they are not allotting him the flat?
- - -
On another note:
The bhojan mantra is in Sanskrit and generally thanks Brahma for sustenance. It is like saying Grace or Bismillah. However, the MP government is giving it a specific identity. In the posts below we have discussed these things at length. These are not religious institutions; they are secular schools and if you feel that children and teachers should say some prayers, then let them choose their manner of thanking god for the stuff on their plates. Isn’t there any hymn that can be recited by everyone? I mean, we can thank farmers and the cooks as well…
I know this is facetious, but I don’t think any god will be appeased by these gestures. Does anyone stop believing in god because there is a drought or a famine anywhere and crops are destroyed?
Now, this is a real case with details. It is an old building, Nibbana Cooperative Society, and at least in the past many actors lived there. The seller of the apartment has no problem; he is a Hindu. The broker is a Hindu. What shocked me was what the secretary, a certain J P Chetry, said:
We know all Muslims are not terrorists.
Oh, sure. No one asked or brought this up. The talk was about discrimination based on faith; it could have been based on gender or profession. This has to stop. I do not want to repeat my own example. But here is another quote from a person who is clearly not a Muslim (isn’t it a shame that I have to resort to this?):
Vinod Bachchan, a broker from Juhu, said he knew of such instances in his area as well. A big star living in Bandra wanted to buy a bungalow in Juhu, but we found it difficult to get one for him as he was a Muslim, he said. There are societies which take an undertaking from non-vegetarians that they will not eat non-veg food, he added.
This is a very smart tactic. Once the building comes up, the society will permit you to do anything. Muslims will, of course, not sign any such undertaking.
I am aware there are societies and colonies where different communities choose to live – be it Parsis, Christians, Jains, Sikhs. This usually happens because certain businesses are concentrated in particular areas or because some places are deliberately bought to keep the area exclusive.
However, for those who have always lived in and wish to lead cosmopolitan lives in a city that claims to be all of this, it is a shame. I will not buy any of the reasons dished out because I have had first-hand experience mentioned before.
There will some who will term this a publicity stunt. If Hashmi wants that, he only has to announce one more kissing scene in a film.
Now, will someone come up with the argument that this is the reason they are not allotting him the flat?
- - -
On another note:
Muslim leaders in Madhya Pradesh have decided to ignore the state governments directive to teachers to recite the bhojan mantra before meals.
The bhojan mantra is in Sanskrit and generally thanks Brahma for sustenance. It is like saying Grace or Bismillah. However, the MP government is giving it a specific identity. In the posts below we have discussed these things at length. These are not religious institutions; they are secular schools and if you feel that children and teachers should say some prayers, then let them choose their manner of thanking god for the stuff on their plates. Isn’t there any hymn that can be recited by everyone? I mean, we can thank farmers and the cooks as well…
I know this is facetious, but I don’t think any god will be appeased by these gestures. Does anyone stop believing in god because there is a drought or a famine anywhere and crops are destroyed?
29.7.09
The Pope and the Prophet
Two bits of religious news and let us see the reactions…
Is art beyond the realm of social discourse? Would one consider it as a political commentary that seeks to exclude certain segments of people because of their other beliefs and actions? Have we not heard about incidents of homosexuality within the Church?
The flip side is this: Why does the gay community wish to belong to a faith system that is mainstream when they are not? Does writing obscene remarks lessen their feeling of being left out?
Apparently, after the Pope’s objection, the Bible has been placed in a locked case and visitors can write their comments on blank sheets of paper. They may as well have a meeting or seminar. Incidentally, copies of the Bible, as I am sure other scriptures, are distributed freely. At least, I got several copies from back in my school days to a couple of years ago. How would anyone know whether or not I would treat it with any respect? Do those with evangelical fervour think for a moment that what they deem holy could mean nothing to another and that itself is a sort of defilement?
I don’t find such art particularly interesting or enlightening or even a potent commentary. However, the Church could just have taken up the issue for what it is. Instead, this is what a report states:
Who are the ‘they’? Who flushed the Koran down the toilet? Who published those Danish cartoons? If people did react, they were immediately termed Islamists, jihadis and intolerant. Some of us who took a view that a religion for its believers must be large enough to withstand such onslaughts were also called jihadis!
So, let us deal with an issue closer to home.
The Prophet’s picture has found its way in a Hindi book chapter in Uttar Pradesh on different religious figures who have contributed to humanity (Manav Uthaan ke Liye Vibhinn Dharmo ka Yogdaan). Islam does not permit publication of the pictures of the Prophet, according to a report. A clarification. There are no pictures available or even ancient artistic impressions. And, yes, the religion does not allow such depictions because it does not believe in iconography. That is the reason I have often mentioned tombs being unIslamic.
It begs the question: why now? Obviously, they knew it was not exactly the done thing. What is the motive? Why this desperate urge to give a face to the Prophet? Because politics needs something.
Please note the name of this gentleman. He is not a Muslim protecting his faith. Just as the first person to call for a ban on Satanic Verses was Khushwant Singh, a Sikh.
And this is my beef. I may well say that it is no big deal, but once it is made an issue of then do not expect silence. The Pope makes a noise; the maulvis will too. And the saffron guys do it as well when their god images, which are used artistically often, are distorted in any manner.
Oh, we speak about madrassas and how only religion is taught there. Here are students in a Mumbai school praying to the snake god:
A Scottish art exhibition invited visitors to deface a copy of the Bible. The exhibit, Untitled 2009, is part of the ‘Made In Gods Image’ exhibition at the Gallery of Modern Art in Glasgow and was thought up by local artist Anthony Schrag. The intention was for gays and transsexuals who felt left out of religion to write their way back in to the holy book. But visitors offered pens by gallery staff had other ideas, and have scrawled a series of obscene remarks.
Is art beyond the realm of social discourse? Would one consider it as a political commentary that seeks to exclude certain segments of people because of their other beliefs and actions? Have we not heard about incidents of homosexuality within the Church?
The flip side is this: Why does the gay community wish to belong to a faith system that is mainstream when they are not? Does writing obscene remarks lessen their feeling of being left out?
Apparently, after the Pope’s objection, the Bible has been placed in a locked case and visitors can write their comments on blank sheets of paper. They may as well have a meeting or seminar. Incidentally, copies of the Bible, as I am sure other scriptures, are distributed freely. At least, I got several copies from back in my school days to a couple of years ago. How would anyone know whether or not I would treat it with any respect? Do those with evangelical fervour think for a moment that what they deem holy could mean nothing to another and that itself is a sort of defilement?
I don’t find such art particularly interesting or enlightening or even a potent commentary. However, the Church could just have taken up the issue for what it is. Instead, this is what a report states:
The adviser to the head of the Catholic Church said the project was disgusting and offensive. They would not think of doing it to the Koran, he added.
Who are the ‘they’? Who flushed the Koran down the toilet? Who published those Danish cartoons? If people did react, they were immediately termed Islamists, jihadis and intolerant. Some of us who took a view that a religion for its believers must be large enough to withstand such onslaughts were also called jihadis!
So, let us deal with an issue closer to home.
The Prophet’s picture has found its way in a Hindi book chapter in Uttar Pradesh on different religious figures who have contributed to humanity (Manav Uthaan ke Liye Vibhinn Dharmo ka Yogdaan). Islam does not permit publication of the pictures of the Prophet, according to a report. A clarification. There are no pictures available or even ancient artistic impressions. And, yes, the religion does not allow such depictions because it does not believe in iconography. That is the reason I have often mentioned tombs being unIslamic.
Yuvraj Dutt, the writer, said the Prophet’s picture was available on the internet and was downloaded from there. Incidentally, the picture was added in the third edition of the book in 2009.
It begs the question: why now? Obviously, they knew it was not exactly the done thing. What is the motive? Why this desperate urge to give a face to the Prophet? Because politics needs something.
Ex-state minister and SP leader Ujjawal Raman Singh threatened that the party would take to the streets and also raise the issue in the assembly if the photograph was not removed.
Please note the name of this gentleman. He is not a Muslim protecting his faith. Just as the first person to call for a ban on Satanic Verses was Khushwant Singh, a Sikh.
And this is my beef. I may well say that it is no big deal, but once it is made an issue of then do not expect silence. The Pope makes a noise; the maulvis will too. And the saffron guys do it as well when their god images, which are used artistically often, are distorted in any manner.
Oh, we speak about madrassas and how only religion is taught there. Here are students in a Mumbai school praying to the snake god:
Charlie's ass
Camilla Parker-Bowles gives Prince Charles a helping hand as he checks a helicopter in Wattisham Airfield, in England.I love this couple.
There is intimacy, friendliness, naughtiness and togetherness evident here.
There is intimacy, friendliness, naughtiness and togetherness evident here.
28.7.09
The great depression?
Today, this mockery seems like nervousness. To grab the momentary. To look at history through wine glasses. To mimick misery and therefore feel less miserable.
It is a sad way to be happy.
27.7.09
India's Underwater Adventure
Okay. We now have our own indigenous nuclear powered submarine. At 110 metres long and 11 metres wide, it does seem like something you wouldn't take home to mother if you were of a certain age.
This is our big moment. The self-made slayer. Arihant is its name, which in Sanskrit means destroyer of enemies. Every Indian must be proud, but just about. I am sure submarines with such staying power are the stuff that would make anyone trying to mess with us via the water route quake in their knees.
We are now part of the USA, Russia, France, UK, China league.
The difference is these countries get their war thingies and get on with life. It makes them feel superior and it conveys to the citizens a sense of safety, however cynical some of us might be.
Instead, we had our President Pratibha Patil break a coconut; Vedic chants were recited. And, of course, in this case too religious sentiments have been hurt.
Some Jain monks have objected to the word Arihant because according to their faith, which is non-violent, it means destroying the enemies within us, like greed, lies and stuff.
Why pick on a name? Why don't they protest against wars and skirmishes that take place every other day? Heck, they should not go anywhere near pesticides.
Would they object to anyone from their community in the armed forces?
Is it just the name or what it stands for? If violence is a problem, then they ought to take issue with the violence they cause to themselves when they choose the path of abstinence.
Meanwhile, Arihant will be a sleeping whale in the waters. A few elitist types will talk about how we are moving ahead. There will be only a handful who will understand and appreciate the ramifications and dynamics of being one of the biggies without gloating about it.
I am not an authority or knowledgeable about these things. I'd much rather watch our Prez snorkelling.
- - -
A big thumbs up to the Akal Takht for asking the Sikhs to build water bodies rather than gurdwaras. Other religions should follow suit and do something concrete. You can pray anywhere...even in a submarine...
22.7.09
News meeows - 22
Airborne 1
I shall not comment on the silliness of emphasising that we are talking about a “people-friendly president”! Some queries:
How do Indian laws apply to foreign airlines? What is so humiliating about the check-up? American airlines expect people to remove their shoes, and from all accounts the former Prez was not offended. If he was, he would have issued a statement.
This is being used as a political bait. The matter was raised in Parliament. Aviation minister Praful Patel went to brief Prime Minister Manmohan Singh about the incident and the action being taken by him.
Some party said that this was copping out to “US’s muscle-flexing over the End-Use Monitoring Agreement (EUMA)”.
It is only our laws that make such exemptions. PIA has its own staff after the Indian security check, just before boarding as does Sri Lankan.
Why does anyone have to be exempt? How does Robert Vadra qualify? In fact, since many of these people are constantly have X, Y, Z security because they are under threat, then the onus is on them and other passengers should be on guard with these people on their flights because they are targeted and by default the other non “guard of honour” passengers.
Airborne 2
Praful Patel seems to have become a busy man. He revealed that as many as 29 pilots had failed pre-flight breath tests conducted to detect alcohol consumption.
This is by far more important from the point of view of the majority of travellers. Guess which one will stay in the news longer?
Modi’s Muslims
“Cong Wins Civic Poll As Gujarat CM’s Muslim Experiment Flops,” said the headline.
Don’t blame Narendra Modi. The loss of his party in the Junagadh civic elections should make it clear that Gujarat will remain communally divisive. He called upon BJP cadres to woo “nationalist Muslims” into the party fold. This is rather sweet because he isn’t a nationalist Hindu or anything. Some found five Muslims to contest and they lost. Others did too, but it is now being said that he has messed up his base by getting these fellows and the “Gujarat ka sher” must not eat halal crow or whatever.
I don’t think it will bother him too much. Now he has a reason to not field any Muslims because some of them lost. Good going.
He will watch the Congress MLAs fumble in his stomping ground. Don’t be surprised if some small skirmishes take place there which will only prove that this does not happen where Modi rules.
Rakhi ka swayamvar and Hindus
Last night’s episode must have been high on drama but I wonder how people who revere the Ganga are taking it. This contestant is from Rishikesh and he took her to the temple and she made him swear to speak the truth. There was constant mention of the pavitra Ganga (the holy river). It turned out to be all lies.
What are we talking about then? Is it not an insult to use a place that is considered holy in such a manner only to grab eyeballs? That character could have been exposed (if it has not been managed already) just for being a liar and a wannabe star. Why bring in religious symbols and stereotypes into all of this as they had done earlier too?
A massive flap erupted on Tuesday in parliament over reports that the former people-friendly president of India A P J Abdul Kalam was frisked by officials of the US airline Continental in an undignified contravention of protocol.
Aviation authorities have sought an FIR against Continental for making Kalam take off his shoes and undergo a humiliating security check at Delhi airport before being allowed to board flight CO 083 to Newark on April 21. Indian laws exempt dignitaries like former presidents, ex-PMs, the Chief Justice of India and even Robert Vadra from being frisked at airports.
I shall not comment on the silliness of emphasising that we are talking about a “people-friendly president”! Some queries:
How do Indian laws apply to foreign airlines? What is so humiliating about the check-up? American airlines expect people to remove their shoes, and from all accounts the former Prez was not offended. If he was, he would have issued a statement.
This is being used as a political bait. The matter was raised in Parliament. Aviation minister Praful Patel went to brief Prime Minister Manmohan Singh about the incident and the action being taken by him.
Some party said that this was copping out to “US’s muscle-flexing over the End-Use Monitoring Agreement (EUMA)”.
If that is the case, have these leaders ever stood up for lesser mortals?
The CPM’s Sitaram Yechury said A P J Abdul Kalam had to suffer the humiliation because of his name in what was seen as a reference to the practice of US airlines scanning members of a particular faith post-9/11.
If it is without any security check, then it ought to be stopped. We must remember that Mr. Kalam was not going in an official capacity, so there was no breach of protocol by the airline.
Arun Jaitley pointed out that India allows vehicles to go up to the tarmac for foreign dignitaries.
It is only our laws that make such exemptions. PIA has its own staff after the Indian security check, just before boarding as does Sri Lankan.
Guard of honour
Following are some of the VIPs and their accompanying spouses who are exempted from pre-embarkation security checks at all civil airports in the country:
President, Vice President, PM Governors, Former Presidents Former VPs, CJI, LS Speaker Union ministers of cabinet rank CMs & Deputy CMs Deputy Chairman, Planning commission, Bharat Ratna awardees Leader of opposition in LS & RS Ambassadors of foreign countries, Charge d' Affairs; high commissioners and their spouses
Judges of SC, CEC
Comptroller & Auditor General
Deputy chairman RS & Dy Speaker of LS Among others CJs of HCs, CMs & Dy CMs of UTs, Cabinet secretary, Lt Governors of UTs, Dalai Lama, SPG protectees and Robert Vadra
Why does anyone have to be exempt? How does Robert Vadra qualify? In fact, since many of these people are constantly have X, Y, Z security because they are under threat, then the onus is on them and other passengers should be on guard with these people on their flights because they are targeted and by default the other non “guard of honour” passengers.
Airborne 2
Praful Patel seems to have become a busy man. He revealed that as many as 29 pilots had failed pre-flight breath tests conducted to detect alcohol consumption.
Kingfisher topped the list with eight pilots failing the breath test. Low-cost carriers IndiGo and SpiceJet were close on its heels with six pilots each caught in ‘high spirits’. Three pilots each of JetLite, Paramount and Jet Airways were also caught. “Any pilot found to be alcohol positive is immediately grounded for a period of up to six weeks,” Patel said in parliament.
This is by far more important from the point of view of the majority of travellers. Guess which one will stay in the news longer?
Modi’s Muslims
“Cong Wins Civic Poll As Gujarat CM’s Muslim Experiment Flops,” said the headline.
Don’t blame Narendra Modi. The loss of his party in the Junagadh civic elections should make it clear that Gujarat will remain communally divisive. He called upon BJP cadres to woo “nationalist Muslims” into the party fold. This is rather sweet because he isn’t a nationalist Hindu or anything. Some found five Muslims to contest and they lost. Others did too, but it is now being said that he has messed up his base by getting these fellows and the “Gujarat ka sher” must not eat halal crow or whatever.
I don’t think it will bother him too much. Now he has a reason to not field any Muslims because some of them lost. Good going.
He will watch the Congress MLAs fumble in his stomping ground. Don’t be surprised if some small skirmishes take place there which will only prove that this does not happen where Modi rules.
Rakhi ka swayamvar and Hindus
Last night’s episode must have been high on drama but I wonder how people who revere the Ganga are taking it. This contestant is from Rishikesh and he took her to the temple and she made him swear to speak the truth. There was constant mention of the pavitra Ganga (the holy river). It turned out to be all lies.
What are we talking about then? Is it not an insult to use a place that is considered holy in such a manner only to grab eyeballs? That character could have been exposed (if it has not been managed already) just for being a liar and a wannabe star. Why bring in religious symbols and stereotypes into all of this as they had done earlier too?
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