Why can't I shut up?

Sometimes, I need to just hold the reins, my horses and the whole stable…the following are mild oops situations. There are far worse ones…

Venue: Karachi, Rafi’s house.

We had moved to the open part of the terrace; it was quite dark. I was with this small group, mainly writers. A tall man walked in wearing a crisp starched white shirt. He was dark and had a thick moustache. Rafi introduced us.

Yeh Abid Ali hai aur yeh Farzana…aapse kahaa tha na hamari Bambai se dost aayi hai?” (I had told you about this friend from Bombay…)

Abid Ali addresses me, “Bambai kaisa hai?” (How is Bombay?)

Bas, Bambai jaisa hai,” I reply. (Just like Bombay.)

He smiles politely and is rescued from me.

I ask the friend who is sitting there, “Who is he?”

“You don’t know Waris?”

“Whose waris is he?”

“The drama serial…he is very famous.”

Okay, I had not seen Waris, although he did look familiar. And, yes, he has a voice that is a combination of an iron fist and velvet gloves…

- - -

Venue: Does not matter

A woman is complaining about life to her parents.

“One day I will just get pissed drunk with vodka and stand in the middle of the road and let a car drive over me.”

“Gosh, what a waste of vodka,” I say.

- - -

Venue: Covent Gardens, London

Had taken a quick city tour the first time. The group dispersed in different directions. I walked along with an American couple. The guy asked me, “Can you do that?” as he pointed to a group of jugglers trying to catch hold of several balls.

Without thinking I said, “Sure, but not with those.”

- - -

Venue: Delhi

IK comes to fetch me. His family has invited me for a perfect Tam-Brahm breakfast of idlis, dosa, upma. Unaccustomed as I was then to Delhi winters I had not carried many woollies. His Amma had sent a shawl for me.

“Here, wrap this,” he said as he revved up his bike.

Me: “I am very garam.”


  1. Blog
    Why always people around assume that every one should be familiar with the TV or Film stars?

    Majority of the times I met people so, called stars and didn't know who they were untill someone told me so.......and the moment I said that I don't'em , people looked at me with a peculiar look as if I was commiting some sort of crime.....haiy naa ajeeb baat?

    What do you say?
    My point is why would other expect me to know each and every star or any star?

  2. I was sitting next to Gulshan Grover last month... on board a flight. I did not recognize him until a little guy came and said 'Bad Man' to him and he just grinned... he looked at me after that and I too grinned. Was he upset??

  3. Why so serious? This was meant to be chuckle stuff...


    No, you are not supposed to know each and every star, but yes there is the attitude that, hey, can't you see who that is...but there are people, esp. these fruity hi-fi society types who will deliberately not recognise the filmi celeb...that I find funny.


    Main Gulshan Grover ki maa hoon kya?! But, okay, if he grinned at you then perhaps he wasn't upset.

    You know about that incident where I was next to Shivraj Patil and said he looked familiar...like...er...Gulzar...imagine Gulzar saab in a safari suit!

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