Am I 'fraustrated'?

Received this letter. Reproduced as it is:

Hello Farzana

Greetings from
B a n g l a d e s h.
Fraustration, too much
Farzana, really. You should
enlight to your reader, not fraustration.
I some time go through with your writings.
I want introduce you to Bangali reader here.
I can translate some of them for our newspaper.
In that case you need to send a straight photograph.

Regards,

AH

- - -

I have a feeling someone is pulling a fast one on me. A Bengali may pronounce something differently but not spell it phonetically. Yet, thought it was rather nice!

Without seeming to reduce the person, should he be genuine, I might have replied as follows:

Bhelcomb! And thank you for going through with my writings, that is why I was whaandaring why my writing always having kaampani, saamtimes pulling, saamtimes phushing. I hope my fraustrations has not made you less bhalo. Ami ki korbe? I was thinking of Jaarman Frau so fraustration became too much, hain? Not phinding it phunny? I promise to enlight reader once I start thinking of French Madame, then tumake komplaint hobe na. Shotti.

I also want introduction to Bangali reader in Bangladesh, but how you will translate my fraustration? Bherry diphicult tashk. Phull dukho-dukho.

Also, am whaandering about the word ‘straight’ for the picture. Is mine ‘gay’, no, dada, not like haapy, but ooman liking ooman? If you think so, then is there problems? Will gentlemens say whatphor this raabish nhonsense like eating mishti doi and plain doi together, tchah-tchah? I don’t want traabal phor you. Kindly enlight me pliss.

With all fraustrations I say nomoshkar,

~FV

- - -

Some words/phrases that might not register

Bhelcomb! - Welcome

Kaampani - company

Bhalo- good

Ami ki korbe? – What can I do?

Jaarman - German

tumake komplaint hobe na. Shotti - you won’t have any complaint, I promise.

Bherry diphicult tashk. Phull dukho-dukho - Very difficult task. Full of sorrow

Ooman - woman

traabal phor – trouble for

mishti doi – sweet curd