Ask the vexpert - 5

Question: How are we supposed to go through the process of intercourse? Is there any particular position that we must follow? Our knowledge of sex is very meagre. I got married 15 days back and need authenticate information regarding intercourse. I know I have to insert my penis inside her vagina. Then for how long should I keep it in? How long does the intercourse last? How do I understand the ongoing process? Is this enough for pregnancy? Both of us prefer a baby boy only.

Sexpert: Wiser people would have learnt before the event. It is not too late for you to take advice from a sexpert.

Me: It is very easy. You need to follow basic management principles. Call a meeting with your wife. The following would be on the agenda:

Goal – intercourse, start-up venture

Strategy – I assume for 15 days you only had the goal in mind but did not venture into unchartered territory, therefore there is single-mindedness to your purpose. It does appear that you wish to follow conventional wisdom applicable to any enterprise, therefore the position to be followed would indeed be the one you mentioned. It would be akin to penetrating the market. For that you need to be excited about the possibility of reaching out and there must be a demand. The demand will make your arrival rather welcome.

Duration of first consignment – “Then for how long should I keep it in?”

If it is a test product then you should not keep it for long; build anticipation and renewed demand. The buyer can be a tough customer, therefore you will have to make sure your product meets the requirement of which you will now how a fair idea.

“How long does the intercourse last?”

If you are good at marketing, it depends on whether you like making sure the product is well-received or you just wish to sell it. The duration will depend entirely on that.

“How do I understand the ongoing process?”

On the job. And there isn’t much to understand. Just enjoy the act that you have a satisfied customer and have been made happy in the bargain.

Future target – "Is this enough for pregnancy?"

Was your goal to sell the product or to get immediate returns? As a start-up, you ought to experiment with the said product before diversifying and multiplying your investments. However, to answer your query, this may or may not result in pregnancy. There is no sure-fire method.

“Both of us prefer a baby boy only.”

I understand that now you and the buyer are partners. Your aspirations are the same. The buyer has realised that trial-and-error with you has worked and wishes to produce more of the same. I suggest you should not be so limited in your aspirations. If you do have a baby boy then he will inherit your ignorance. Also girls are better at management, which seems to be your way of doing things.