Ask the vexpert - 25

Question: I am a 26-year-old bachelor. I like to fantasise about my sexy colleagues or actresses to arouse myself during masturbation. However, whenever I see a picture of a girl's vagina, I get turned off and feel like throwing up. I have tried to get over this strange aversion, but have been unable. I can get aroused by a woman's lips, smile, breasts, navel, but not the vagina. Hence, I am afraid of marriage. I am not sure if I will be able to satisfy my wife. Is there something wrong with me?

Sexpert: You should consult a psychiatrist to get you out of this aversion. You can start by looking at pictures of a vagina every day and also when you masturbate. After you are married, you won’t be able to go without seeing it.

Me: Marriage has got nothing to do with the vagina, which in turn has little to do with sexual satisfaction. You can praise all the above-mentioned body parts of your partner and she will be satisfied. In the long history of cohabitation, I have not heard anyone singing praises of the vagina. Marriage has to do with how two people try and not get in each other’s way except when the occasion so demands. Besides, when you are at your ‘real’ job it is unlikely that you will see V, unless you are an obstetrician or a techie who likes to check that all the hardware is tickety-boo. On your ‘other’ experiments there will be a nodding association required. Seen figs? If you are a fruit guy, it might be your answer.

However, to make sure you do not puke at the site, do chew on some ginger as you would when you are taking an arduous journey in the mountains. You could also acclimatise yourself by visiting caves and sitting there for a few minutes. Make sure you do not spend too much time or you will be left hanging loose when you need to replicate the images. Also, make a note of the bats on the ceiling – that is a good testing ground for future use.


  1. 'Kolpophobia'is the term for this state of weak-mind. This is nearer to a phobia for amputated/crushed organs, but in later, person feels safe that he can avoid the scene. Here his mind is disturbed by the knowing that the act he finds giving extreme pleasure is attached with the organ appeared weird [ to one's standard belief[.This happens with a person raised in very rigid orthodox family where sex talk and nudity is a taboo. Preexisting ideas of the beauty and perfection causes it.What is beauty after all? Nothing but what your mind likes or judges’ for. Experts solution is baseless.

    "You can start by looking at pictures of a vagina every day and also when you masturbate. After you are married, you won’t be able to go without seeing it"

    First it is not an 'aversion' but lack of knowledge and prejudice. One is committing crime by stopping this person from marrying by giving such kind of fake married life ideas. At 26 he is bachelor and have no one to guide but a glossy magazine. His experience may be with some sex-worker in some illness or improper hygiene condition and that too in a fearful condition of red-light area cubical. I may be wrong but when he will find a loving partner some day, he will certainly love her body in total. I remember here a scene [however not related much here]of 'SAAT khoon maaf' where husband with a amputated leg caresses the wife's face. I also wonder how many Indian men/husbands know the anatomy and appearance of female organ.
    Thanks for posting unspeakable otherwise.

  2. Jitu:

    When I started this series it was essentially to take a lighthearted look at both the queries and the replies. I am amazed at how BOTH come across.

    Indeed, it is partly a problem with orthodox societies, but also the methods of learning are usually crass. So, it is natural that a person might get put off. There is also peer group ideas of what is right.

    Thanks for your enlightening comment.


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