Coronation Skit: Saif Gets Co-opted

Just suppose Saif Ali Khan had refused to be anointed the new Nawab of Pataudi and instead gone to the district and nearby villages, spoken to the people and said that he would continue with the work in the charitable hospitals: would there have been turmoil? The people there vote for politicians; it is the government that provides the basic infrastructure, the roads, the health plans, the schools, the water, the electricity.

Saif had said that this business of royalty is not applicable anymore; India is a democracy. He should have stood his ground. We do still have these princes around, especially in Rajasthan, transforming their palaces into fancy luxurious hotels while playing on public sentiment. Some enter the political fray and while in Parliament they are the epitome of modernity, what with their western education, but once they reach home turf they are quite willing to be addressed as “Your Lordship”. They get married mostly within the clan or with other royal blood and we still see these princesses, graceful rajkumaris, in special editions of glossy magazines. Even if these royals are running restaurants or designing high street clothes or, of course, promoting the gay cause dressed in pink feathers on their turbans, they still get this halo treatment.

Many bring out their antiques and heritage garments in the name of promoting tradition. This is self-promotion. Not one of them has the courage to shun the pomp and pageantry. To make it seem that it is the junta that wants to keep the symbolism alive is only a small part of the picture. Does the junta, often quite conservative, have a say when these rajahs and nawaabs indulge in their extra-curricular activities? Is the junta allowed to voice an opinion when there are fights over wealth in these regal families? Who represents the junta to anoint the princes? The panchayat? It is a political body. So, these men are just ensuring a constituency.

Since Saif had clear opinions about Indian democracy, he should have not gone ahead with the pagdi (turban) ceremony. It is too soon after his father Mansur Ali Khan Pataudi’s death, anyway. If this is a democracy and he was not ruling, why the hurry to fill the space?

Someone tied a turban and he now has a title. It means nothing, he believes. It would be a fine initiative if he stepped up and said that he had respected the views of the people (if indeed there were such views) and now as their prince they must respect his and follow the government directive. Many of these princes talk about how they are upholding both tradition and modern values, when all they are doing is ensuring that Godiva chocolates are placed at bed-turndown time in the rooms that have an odd ode to culture with a miniature painting or ‘theme’-based furniture and upholstery.

And the media that goes on about the new India, the India that has come out of the stereotype, has been covering this ‘small’event with television interviews on the coronation. If you want the rights of a democracy, then do not make a farce of what it does not stand for only because you get to see blue blood. Of course, the channels will also benefit by getting the ads of the 'prince' endorsing a vest.

Democracy is, I suppose, a fleece market. 

The Royal Challenge

No more 'Raja', 'Rani', 'Kunwar', 'Begum'. India will finally do away with the vestiges of royal titles. This is the official stand of the Congress party. Will it stop its usage among those who still fancy a bit of pomp and splendour?

At a fashion show

Even our fashion designers have their regal collections and manage to rope in the scions of such families to tog themselves up in their heirloom jewels while they are dressed up in recreated tradition. One would think that tradition is the preserve of royalty alone. What about the traditions of those who create magic weaves and those wonderful palaces and artefacts?

Vasundhara Raje Scindia

Even today a Vasundhara Raje Scindia is referred to as ‘Maharani’ and poses like she is in some fancy dress competition while campaigning for elections! Mansur Ali Khan Pataudi continues to be referred to as Nawab although he was arrested for poaching. Worse, his son who is a yuppie Bollywood actor is referred to as Chhote Nawab.

The pink 'prince'

And then there is the pink prince, Manvendra Singh Gohil of the erstwhile Rajpipla state, who has become the global face of the Indian gay movement.

We see many of these royals being flaunted in society pages even if they have transformed into hoteliers.

Hotel Rambagh Palace

Gayatri Devi modelled for diamonds and who cares if they were limited edition?

I am not terribly taken up with her so-called dignity. I have had two ‘encounters’ with her and both left me unimpressed. The first time was at the Polo Bar of her palace-turned-hotel in Jaipur. She walked in wearing a paisley print chiffon saree and sat on the sofa across from where we were. She lit a cigarette and everything, from her deportment to her way of talking, seemed like that of any socialite in the elite metros. It was only when the high-turbaned stewards started addressing her as “Hukum" that I took a closer look.

The other time was on a hopping flight, from Udaipur to Jaipur. There were no class barriers on this small aircraft. I was squeezed in the middle. I turned to my left as the plane took off to see the clouds as I always do. The lady seated near the window did not seem to like it; I could not see her face and was not interested.

Later, the gentleman on my right leaned forward and addressed her, “I have read your book. Really liked it.”

I pushed myself back so that they could converse.

A heavy voice on my left replied, “Oh, just leave me alone.”

Gayatri Devi with her memories

That was Maharani Gayatri Devi.

When the service started, they handed over packets of sandwich and soft drinks. The attendant addressed the ‘princess’. Not only she did not deign to look up, but she just waved a dismissive hand.

Despite the fact that I was not hungry, I took the packet, opened it and started eating. No royalty was going to act pricey. If she did not like the smell of cheese, then tough luck.

At Jaipur, she disembarked. I saw her retreating back from the window, a woman in a saree that suddenly looked synthetic. There was a lone ‘khaadim’ in white waiting for her.

I almost felt sorry.

Sorrier was the public battle she fought for property with her grandchildren. Is this becoming of one who is touted as the epitome of all that is regal and classy, not to speak of beautiful?

True greatness can shine by the way you beam your light on those less fortunate than you. And it does not matter what honorific you are born with or is bestowed upon you.

The way we are - 3

The TV anchor was discussing poll strategies in Bihar. Actor Shatrughan Sinha is one of the candidates. Anchor looked earnestly at the monitor and asked Mr. Sinha, “Who would you say ‘Khamosh’ (‘Silent!” a word made famous for the way the actor enunciated it in his films) to and how?” Mentioning a few leading politicians, he wanted the man who might well get a portfolio if the BJP wins or play an important role to mimic this before a national audience. Is this a circus? A reality show where comic artistes do these things?

To his credit, Shatrughan Sinha he refused to do so, but he did use the word in a general context. Earlier people had to keep politicians happy; now it is the other way round.

The anchor gave a huge victorious smile as though he had managed to get a scoop. I can imagine him saying, “You heard this first on our channel.”

Yes, puff cake.

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This is stupid. Not the statement itself, but how opinion-makers are reacting to “all options open”.

In a breathtaking display of brazenness, the Samajwadi Party on Thursday declared that it would extend support to whosoever was ready to sack the democratically elected Mayawati government, marking a new low in politics and offering a peep into the no-holds-barred bargaining that is likely after the polls.

Is this seriously news? Mulayam Singh used the word ‘sack’. That will be possible only when a government is formed or ready to be formed. It means the major party will be the Congress or the BJP. What happens if Mayawati allies with one of these parties at the time?

Why is everyone looking quizzically at this new brazenness when we have a history of it in some form or the other?

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For all those who have been talking about the Gandhis as royalty – no originality there – I found this most amusing:

The caption said:
ROYALTY VOTES: Maharani Padmini Devi and princess Diya cast their vote in Jaipur

They are voting in a democracy. Where does royalty come in?