Ask the vexpert - 17

Question: My partner showed me how guys masturbate and he accidently ejaculated in a water tub. I used the same water to wash my vagina after urinating. Now I am worried. Could I be pregnant because of this?

Sexpert: No chance of conception. Ask your partner to aim straight and warn you if he intends to do so again.

Me: I don’t think it was accidental on his part. He let his stuff reach the water tub because you would not be able to tell the quantity in a tub full of water. Not that the amount of semen matters, but it is a psychological need to prove something. I understand you are into the ‘save water’ campaign and needed to wash yourself with that same water, but it isn’t a good idea. You won’t get pregnant because the semen has been lost in this vast ocean; however, bodies of water hold several bacteria and small insects, including mosquitoes. Chances of them being impregnated are not to be ruled out, since they are small and their requirements different from human ones. Sperms are adaptable and tend to look for targets anywhere.

My only concern it that due to extreme jealousy and possessiveness, some of the impregnated insects might want to seek vengeance and you could be the target. If you contract any illness due to bacteria or get a sharper mosquito bite than is normal, then do see it as the ‘other woman’ claiming her rightful share. If any of these visitations occur after a period of time, it could well be the offspring and their desire to seek roots. It might seem difficult to accept, but since your partner could be responsible for several bastard vermin, it might be wise to prepare for your role as stepmom.


  1. FVji - many greetings

    I will have to differ with you again, if I may. Saying that the quantity of semen doesn't matter is similar to saying that the size doesn't matter, if you don't mind my saying so. Which you know is not the case. Thanks to evolution, male genitalia have come to an optimum, size doesn't matter as long as it is within one sigma of this optimum. But this is only one half of the discourse, one must consider the variations of the corresponding female parts as well, so in fact there are two variations (statistical distributions, if you will) one each for male and female. From an evolutionary point alone, it is the overlap of the two distributions that is most beneficial and efficient. Given the fertility rates and the growth in human population, it is safe to assume that human beings are not in any great danger of becoming extinct in the foreseeable future. This brings us to the non-evolutionary side of the "quantity / size matters" debate. On this side, the limbic part of the brain dominates over the more primordial reptilian brain. Here pleasure dominates over survival - and yes size matters and so does the quantity, here more=longer. A male ejaculating in the bath tube is at a disadvantage since the semen consists of a miscible and nonmiscible parts, only the latter makes its presence know - the former is, as you say, lost in the ocean of tub full of water.

    As for myself, I didn't mean to raise a storm in the teacup.

    Best wishes to you.

  2. I usually choose not to comment on this , but this one is different ....I guess the girl is assuming semen to as potent as H1N1 virus ....imagine if Semen would travel like flu ....bugger thats a steven spielberg movie script...it will be social change .......dating and mating both would change ...now thats gamechanger....

  3. Anonji:

    Right now I feel I am lost in some vast ocean. I will have to plead ignorance on what I am sure are extremely important matters. My motive was to say something ridiculous with a straight face rather than question evolution or the 'quantifiability' and 'qualifiability' of semen and the shelf life of the sperm carried therein.

    You have raised no storm in any teacup, but I better leave before any further controversy raises its head.


    :) True, major social changes...paternity, maternity lawsuits...DNA testing of bathtubs...


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