The maulvis and swine

As we all know, the mullahs in India have become very hip and happening; they talk about voting, democracy and even liberals like Ms. Sham are praising them for not burying Pakistani terrorists and walking all the way with other liberals in peace marches.

I have already mentioned the fatwa for elections in response to queries from Muslims.

Here are a few queries I too have about how Muslims must react to the swine flu and other porcine issues:

• Does contracting the swine flu make a person less of a Muslim?

• If someone refers to a Muslim house that is not neat as a 'pig sty', can the owner forgive the person or must s/he attempt to cleanse that person’s mouth?

• Does listening to film dialogues with terms like “sooar ki aulad” (offspring of swine) make one haraam?

• What about phrases like “eat like a pig”, “ride piggy-back”…are they legitimate and acceptable?

• Can Muslim children put their small change in piggy banks? If yes, does the same rule apply also to Eidi (monetary gift on Eid)?

These are questions of importance and it would be nice if some maulvi took time off and explained. I am dying to get involved in this fatwa business and I don’t care if I have to be called a swine for it.