28.1.10

Let us buy Imran Khan

Every new “twist” in the IPL tale would be yawn-producing had it not been full of lies. Some West Indies cricketer suddenly needs surgery, so now we can get Pakistani bowler Abdul Razzaq. Everyone thinks it is ok. No security issues. Nothing.

I think if there are people in this country and in Pakistan who really believe that throwing balls and hitting bouncers is going to result in peace, then the man to buy is Imran Khan.

We are always worried about the Taliban, right? He is our man. He can talk to them. The moment he plays a few ‘peacing’ matches – and he will invest all that money in his cancer hospital, too – the good Talibs will shoo away the bad Talibs. Now that America too is willing to talk to them, it will be all good.

Imran Khan does not have a chance in hell, or heaven, to lead his country politically. He can try this out. Sold-out matches and the only Talibs who will be at our border would be those sending SMS messages for some competition or the other that is taking place. We will make more money; they will make more money. Who knows, Asif Ali Zardari, who has a fan following in Bradford, may even ask some Pakistanis to return home and sneak out for some much-needed rest and join Sarah Palin on a foxy talk show. Pakistanis will be relieved. India will be happy to play Big Bro once again.

And, yes, Parmeshwar Godrej’s swimming pool will be waiting to cool off Imran Khan. Remember he had asked on the earlier occasion that India should help Pakistani democracy?

Don’t ever call me a cynic again. I have given my thoughts on how to make piss.

10 comments:

  1. fv
    Imran Khan is hypocrite of the highest order. He is critical about West and yet plays a play boy of the west and marries a Brit.
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  2. Imran Khan is not alone in that mindset -- after all the Pakistanis pride themselves at being "tall, fair, and tight-assed" when comparing themselves to us "short, dark, rice-eating" Indians. Such attitudes may also point to psychological problems in the man -- here is a cricketing hero who has intimate knowledge of many of his female fans who is suddenly dumped unceremoniously by Jemima and the boys. His plans to become a pakistani politician is also not going to work out because of the minor problem of Pakistan not having a working civilian government (nor will it ever), so he must be under severe mental stress to recover his own mental image of himself.

    I will only say that Imran should have known that the actions of a person can come back and haunt them.

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  3. "Imran Khan does not have a chance in hell, or heaven, to lead his country politically."

    If I were you, I wouldn't bet a penny on this.Imran is positioning himself to replace Nawaz in Punjab . He already has a pretty good following in NWFP. I would say in another ten years or so, he would be in some important position in a coalition. Don't assume that his politics will not change in the coming years. He may never have my support but he is certainly not out of touch with Pakistani politics.

    Long lost friend HP.

    PS. Do visit PTH sometime, your input there will always be appreciated.

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  4. Circle:

    The hypocrisy that bothers me is about trying to be something to gain credibility. His marriage and relationships are not of any concern to me, at least.

    Al:

    We can generalise mindsets, but only to an extent.

    after all the Pakistanis pride themselves at being "tall, fair, and tight-assed" when comparing themselves to us "short, dark, rice-eating" Indians.

    Never heard about tight-assed before! And they do eat rice, that too full of grease in biryani. I think part of the problem is some Indians help this stereotype by believing it.

    I will only say that Imran should have known that the actions of a person can come back and haunt them.

    Oh, no. Let us not get moralistic. I mean, when will our N.D.Tiwari's actions haunt him then?? He is already 86 :)

    Hi HP:

    Good to see you again. If Imran's politics change, then people's opinions will too. For what he is now, and I do not see him make a leap, he will remain a fringe player, maybe a kingmaker at some point. I am afraid I cannot see hi being acceptable to both the Punjab and the NWFP.

    I don't gamble, but I am willing to bet a few rupees on my stand.

    PS: As of now, I'd like less appreciation so the good wishes of LLFs compensates!

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  5. "Never heard about tight-assed before! And they do eat rice, that too full of grease in biryani. I think part of the problem is some Indians help this stereotype by believing it."

    FV, Of course, I do not believe in this stereotype. I am not blind (in case I forgot to mention it). I have seem Musharraf's fotus many times.

    I will get back to you with references. I am pretty certain Ms. B. Bhutto had a quote stating as such.

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  6. "Oh, no. Let us not get moralistic. I mean, when will our N.D.Tiwari's actions haunt him then?? He is already 86 :)"

    Hee hee. I bow before your mighty brain. :-)

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  7. Also, thank you for calling me moralistic. No one has ever said that to me before, and I thank you!
    (I am serious...I am considered a robot by people around me).

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  8. fv
    You missed the whole point. Imran Khan is hypocrite of the highest order because on one hand he openly hates whites and on the other hand he marries white woman and have had seuxal relationships with white owmen. On one hand he hates USA and on the other hand he visits USA for donations for Pak Hospital.

    I don't care about his relationships or marriage or divorce or having an illegitimate child from a white American woman...I don't. But, I do care when he criticizes whites and hates them on daily bases and then turns around and have close relationships with them????

    If he would have not uttered anything about Whites or about west I wouldn't be calling him a hypocrite. He perfectly fits in to the definition of hypocrisy. He is a pure Mullah and Islamist who can get away with everything...

    You see his relationships and marriage is not an issue here, the issue is when he makes an ass of himself out of it.

    Then he thinks he has God given right to be PM of Pakistan?
    That shows lack of his character. The man is big bully to himself, big mockery to himself and not only that he supports Talibans....and doesn't care if, t/alibans are killing his own countrymen and women on daily bases.
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  9. Imran Khan was like most Pakistanis base their self worth on how supposedly tall, fair and tight assed they are compared to Indians as AI mentioned. This is from

    http://blog.dawn.com/2010/01/28/the-froth-of-khan/

    "During a speech in Lahore, he lashed out at President Zardari and MQM’s Altaf Hussain, using the most worn-out critical clichés that the two men usually face on TV screens. But this was not the problem. Khan wasn’t saying anything new or offensive in this respect. However, while winding up his rhetorical tirade, he got carried away and revealed the true extent of his xenophobia. While attacking MQM member and a minister in the PPP-led coalition government, Babar Ghauri, Khan sarcastically equated him with African children.

    Ghauri, who, like most MQM leaders, rose from a lower middle-class background and worked his way through the ranks amidst a number of crackdowns on his party by the state in the 1990s, has a dark complexion. And it is this that the mighty Khan (‘man of the masses’ – most of whom are not as fair as Khan himself), chose to ridicule. Speaking in Urdu, Khan said, “Ghauri was sitting (talking to me) on TV, so what should I say to this guy? I (wanted to tell him), Babar Ghauri, if I go to Africa, I can show you a hundred kids that look like you!”

    I wonder if Khan spoke the same way about West Indian greats such as Viv Richards or Clive Lloyd? And is this why the great Khan chose to marry a white British woman instead of a ‘brown’ Pakistani girl? And was the great reborn Muslim and ‘honest politician’ so peeved with late Benazir Bhutto only because she could speak better English than him and have an equally fair complexion?"

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  10. Circle:

    I did not miss the point. I just do not think the specific instances of marriage/affairs and hatred for the west reveal hypocrisy. The hypocrisy lies elsewhere in using the Islamic card when he is hardly close to that.

    What you are implying the analogy would be 'I hate boozards but enjoy my drink'. Nothing wrong with that, because you can dislike certain abominable aspects of some things. He went for the exceptions :)Mind you, in principle I am with you...

    Anon:

    His Ghauri comment was indeed in bad taste. Benazir prolly would not be able to get her self-esteem from the tall, fair deal because she went and married Zardari who at the moment likes black goats.

    Al (various):

    :) Go beyond Musharraf, or we fall into the push the mohajirs into the dark trap. Leave him be...pleaaasee.

    And moralists Are robots!

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