Hindus, Muslims and a Toilet

Next time I want to become part of the ‘mainstream’ I will wear red bracelets. If any of you thought that Hinduism was associated with saffron, then according to the ISI’s Major Iqbal it is not quite so. It is red. The Left parties are still nursing wounds and here some Pakistani even takes away their colour. Oh, but the Hindutvawadis had also taken away the hammer during Babri no? And maybe the sickle during the excavation? Commies are bereft and all because of the ISI.

One more story on the David Headley 'investigation'. He bought 15 red bracelets to be worn by the attackers so that they could disguise themselves as Hindus. This is part of the evidence and I can imagine those American backpacker tourists saying, “Yeah, yeah, that’s wotwesaah at those aahsim taimpills.”

I saw Shakti Kapoor wearing one. At the Ajmer dargah. Every religion has this red thread/bracelet thing, okay? Honestly, can we get serious about this? Would the Indian intelligence authorities look at the wrists of suspects? Next they will say people with varicose veins are chosen to be disguised as green Muslims.

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Smita Thackeray has complimented Muslims for not being swayed by LeT and al Qaida. What to do, Smitaji. We only sway when we are drunk.

“It is a matter of great satisfaction that Muslims have retained faith in India’s unity and communal harmony.”

Gee, thanks. Now your turn.

“The prayers of Hindus and Muslims will shield Balasaheb from any threat. The Ajmal Kasabs, Ranas and David Headleys can’t touch him, Sonia-ji or Manmohan Singh.”

What about atheists?

Ms. Thackeray’s new-found interest is because she is making a film called Babri on Babri. She insists it will be from the common man’s perspective. Of course. I should hope to see a lot of Behrampada, of Madhukar Sarpotdar and the arms, of people being made to pull down their pants in cosmopolitan Mumbai, of honest cops who were transferred. It can all be fictionalised.

Incidentally, Aamir Khan has helped her with the script. This is one common man we can wash our hands of and who will do anything to market anything.

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I do not know of many people who if they need to go the loo will take the name of the toilet. Will someone who happens to be in the Bhuleshwar area and wishes to use the facilities say, “I want to go to Kasturba Gandhi”?

No. But we have to create a noise. One bloke is angry because of one such toilet name:

“This is my fight because the public seems to be afraid to speak up. I think the British (appear in a better light) at this point since they named the road after Kasturba Gandhi, thus honouring her. We, on the other hand, have done the opposite and degraded her.”

Her husband degraded her long ago when he gave her a broom and expected her to clean lavatories. Mahatma Gandhi had great respect for ‘toilet training’. The self-righteousness by citizens is unnecessary. Shit happens, so no need to get pissed off.


  1. FV,

    You are talking through your hat, to be frank. You seem to be saying Hedley's planning was faulty since bracelets do not characterise Hindus. Is this some kind of an ISI debriefing of 26/11? This is not funny. Please keep your bruised faith to yourself.

    The rest of your comments aren't amusing either. I hold no brief for film people. But you seem to be implying that Smita Thakre is unfit to make a film with a title like 'Babri' because of her surname, and Aamir Khan simply by associating himself informally with such a project becomes a legitimate target of scorn. As for what you hope to see in the film, well, why not wait for it to release if it excites you so much?

  2. Forget what I am talking through and read the news report. You have no idea, you don't read and have the temerity to talk as though you are an authority.

    And please do not try and camouflage your biases. You start jumping each time Modi is mentioned. Now it's the Sena. This is not Smita Thackeray's first film; she has produced some slapstick. She was very much part of the the Sena during the riots and now because of a fallout, she is jumping the wagon. No accusation of turncoat from you now.

    As for Aamir, if you come outside your tunnel you will discover what I've had to say about him on other issues. Naturally you will notice only this.

    And do not dare to speak to me in the language you have employed towards the end. This is a news story and the lady is holding forth. People are entitled to their opinion without getting excited about it. But I guess that isn't something you'd be familiar with.

  3. FV,
    I do not think I have employed offensive language anywhere in my comment, but my unconditional apologies if you found it so. That was not my intention at all. Your post genuinely made me angry. However, I will be more careful about my language in future regardless.

    I request you to post this comment.

  4. F&F:

    Accepted. "Offensive" can mean many things, just as there are versions of biases...

  5. FV,

    Good to see you acknowledge that bias is a relative term and that what looks like bias to one can be a reflex action for the other. You know what I am hinting at! Welcome to the broader horizon, o believer!!

  6. The pigeonhole of 'believer/non-believer' is in your head, so it must be swollen enough to encompass this broad horizon. Reflex actions are not without bias, therefore what is said and perceived are just different biases. If you know what I mean.


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