10.8.08

Rushdie and Bush in a squeeze?

Salman Rushdie with another Lakshmi...the hijra he interviewed.


Salman Rushdie has written an essay for the anthology titled AIDS Sutra: Untold Stories From India. Never mind that these stories have been recounted a number of times. Bring in AIDS, get writers to hold forth on some aspect.

I avoided bringing up the story of Rushdie’s bodyguard claiming that the writer demanded money from them to protect him…I felt that he needed some rest. His extra-curricular activities are taking up too much time. But this one passage from the essay The Half-Woman God (a literal translation of ardhanarishwara, which he uses to refer to the eunuchs…where are the magical metaphors?). Anyway, here is the portion:

Aastha gut makes and disseminates paan-flavoured condoms, and hijras are trained (with the help of attractive wooden penises) to hold the popularly flavoured condoms in their mouths, and then apply them quickly to the client’s member. (I was given a couple of impressively swift and skilful demonstrations of the technique, on, I hasten to add, the wooden members only.)

This so juvenile. What purpose does the last bit serve in a serious essay? It is in poor taste and not even slightly amusing. Honestly, grow up Sir Salman.

- - -

George Bush scores at the Olympics


Bush starts flanked by two players of the women’s beach volleyball team at the Olympics. Beginning with the threesome clockwise, here is my short running commentary for the rest of the pictures:

1. “Kya sab kuchch theek hai, mere aaka?”

“Thoda bukhaar hai, shaayad,”Bush ne kaha.

2. “Achcha, tau kya muamla garam hai?”

“Hmm…mujhe nahin lagta…”

3. Silence. He goes to the other woman. The “Let’s do it” Nike logo stares at us as the Hindi song “Lag ja gale ke phir yeh haseen raat ho na ho” plays in the background.

4. Later… The Prez’s shirt is sweaty and his hands relaxing where they should not be… “Duniya ki parwaah kare kyon sab ne hamara kiya kya…”

Aaa…aah…

A Chinese official quickly approaches Bush and says urgently, “Mistal Pleseedun, you coming flom backside?”

Exit.

3 comments:

  1. Are the Bush pics real? Oh well ... reminds me of 'Monkey Business' of Gary Hart, who people say would have made a great President!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes, these pix were carried on the front page of TOI...well, this one is on his way out, so we will never know whether he would have made a great president!

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  3. @Rushdie:
    Pervert saala.

    @Bush:
    LOL!!

    ReplyDelete

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