Ahh...men!

Look, this whole metrosexual vs. retrosexual thing is getting boring. Most women do not give a damn what men look like as long as they know what to do with what they have.

Now there was another survey by the British Yorkshire Building Society. Some nuggets from the report in italics:

The fairer sex may have all but abandoned the struggle for equality, for a new survey suggests that most men want a traditional wife and women are often only too happy to oblige.

One moment. Why does a woman playing the traditional role cease to be equal to men who also play their traditional roles? If women prefer these so-called retro men, then aren’t these guys too happy to play that role?

The survey suggested that most women desire “retrosexual” men, who are more hunter gatherer than a “metrosexual” stay-at-home father.

Hunter-gatherer? Someone is going Barbara Cartland on us. I wish these surveys examined the reasons.

“A lot of women used to think they wanted a metrosexual man. But then they realised they were fed up with a man who spent longer in the bathroom than they did,” Tanya Jackson, corporate affairs manager at the building society said. “Many women now feel they actually want a huntergatherer and they will look after their man in return.”

Why is it so difficult to understand that what glossies and ad agencies tell us is manufactured? A man is not a machine (well, working on auto-pilot does not make you a machine). Nor a fad. Men are human (ahem). And women make those choices based on the kind of people they themselves are.

This is not like going to a showroom and picking out retro or metro. And whoever gave these people the idea that the guy who spends a lot of time in the bathroom does not expect to be looked after? And isn’t the job of the hunter-gatherer to hunt, get the stuff and then go grrr…hrrmph? Why would he want to be pampered? Would that not turn him into a metro then?

And isn’t the ‘tweeze my eyebrows and do my facial’ guy getting ready to face the world and go hunting anyway?

We all have our little yes-yes, no-no list…This is mine…

Hawaiian shirts only at the beach.

Clean feet, hands and other things in between.

Not pretty to watch you licking on ice-cream cones.

A stubble only if you have smooth hair.

A beard that does not look like a bush.

Polite in public and private.

Rough when the occasion arises.

White shirt, not white shoes.

Don’t try to work on a sense of humour; men are meant to be funny as a species.

Cook, but don’t make it sound like a Cecil B de Mille production.

Do not assume all women like getting the lingerie you like. Try wearing a G-string and then you’ll know.

Don’t challenge a woman with, “Hah, you don’t have the balls”. She’ll show you what you don’t have.

Just because you read somewhere that women look at butts don’t walk ahead of her. Unless you have something to hide by facing her.

Even if she has initiated something don’t keep mentioning it; it is so déclassé and it also reveals how slow you are.

Flattering her in public might work only if she is insecure, or you are about her.

And finally, don’t ask for directions to her erogenous zones. You aren’t stuck on some highway, are you?