Noose for Modi?

The whole of India’s media is abuzz because Narendra Modi said, “Hang me if I am guilty”. This “candid interview” was given to Samajwadi Party MP Shahid Siddiqui, who is also in the news. It is interesting that he says the idea for the interview was hatched with some friends like Salim Khan and Mahesh Bhatt. No wonder Modi played the Bollywood plot.

Much is being made about this appearing in an Urdu daily, Nayi Duniya. What is so surprising? Urdu is one of the official languages of India, and it has little to do with Gujarat.

Modi and Siddiqui are entitled to their PR exercises, but this yogic meditation is absurd. Is Modi saying this to the Supreme Court? For all you know, he might be using this as a swipe against the new President who might have to entertain a mercy petition should such a sentence ever be pronounced. Modi has not dirtied his own hands, so this sort of declamation is just so much noise.

What we must take note of is the clause that if he is proved innocent the media should apologise for tarnishing his image. What exactly does this mean? Is he only concerned about his image? Is the media India? Even if some in the media do apologise, it does not count. He is answerable to the people of Gujarat, to the people of India.

And to those who think that giving an interview to an Urdu daily amounts to trying to win over Muslims, please do not forget the pamphlets that were distributed in the state in the local language against them, their culture, and a call to boycott their businesses. This man now talks about development of Gujarat when in 2002 a whole section of the population’s development was sought to be derailed, at a time when so many had lost earning members of their families, whose houses were destroyed.

Shahid Siddiqui and his band of filmi boys can go drum up a frenzy about this, and make it seem like he has done a huge favour, but if Narendra Modi has to apologise to anyone it is the people of his state, irrespective of whether he is personally guilty or not. All this happened when he was in charge and the noose was on his people.

Talk about hanging seems so churlish, if not insensitive, in the context.

Mr. Musharraf, Do You Not Know?

Following the ruckus former Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf’s statements to an Indian television channel have caused, mainly about Dawood Ibrahim, I decided to do a follow-up interview.

FV: Welcome, Mr. Musharraf. How does it feel….

PM: I don’t know.

FV: I have not asked a question yet.

PM: Okay, okay.

FV: How does it feel to be accused of trying to grab the limelight again?

PM: What limelight? You asked me for an interview. Who sent you here?

FV: I don’t know. Uh…mmm….I mean, this is my job. I need to know why you don’t know.

PM: I already said in that interview. How am I to know where Dawood Ibrahim is when I am not in Pakistan? Why does India not know? You have his relatives there, he is also looking for a burial place in Mumbai. Why? Is Pakistan only for hiding? Everyone wants to go to Pakistan and hide and then they get buried somewhere else. Osama was in the sea and that also not in Pakistan but Afghanistan. Karzai got so many points only for that. This was an insult to our fishermen.”

FV: But it was a Pakistani magazine that exposed Dawood’s hideout in Karachi, and there was talk about his white house.”

PM: How can you see a hideout? The Pakistani media is westernised. They cannot understand local sentiments and want to ape the Americans, so they called it white house. So many bungalows are white. They sit in their ivory towers and don’t know what is grassroots.

FV: This reminds me. No one seems to have caught on to your comment about going in a helicopter to look at the refugee camps to get a feel of the ground reality. I thought that was rather amusing.

PM: I like to poke fun at myself. I do not believe in lying.

FV: Lying is not a belief, Mr. Musharraf. But you agree you mixed up the figures and the riots in India, don’t you?

PM: I don’t know.

FV: Well, you did.

PM: I forget the figures in Pakistan too. This is not about numbers, but emotions.

FV: So you said, and I will quote you here, “They think that he (Dawood) did a very good job... Because Indians killed 3,000 Gujaratis. In Gujarat they killed 3,000 Muslims”. There has been a huge noise from the liberal Pakistanis. They say that most of them don’t feel this way.

PM: Did I give any figure? I just said they think. ‘They’ could mean any number. I told you these liberals don’t know the ground reality.

FV: Maybe because they don’t use helicopters?

PM: Even if they did, they would look at the birds.

FV: Dawood is on the list of most wanted terrorists, even though his work is mostly hawala transactions these days.

PM: For the west, this is more important now. Money.

FV: But Pakistan too depends on US aid.

PM: That is to help them. It is an economic strategy, like you say diwaala nikaalna, they can write off loans and show bankruptcy.

FV: Do you think Dawood qualifies as a terrorist?

PM: I don’t know. But since you Indians go on about him, we can give you Javed Miandad instead.

FV: Why did you say that Imran Khan is the best of the lot in politics today?

PM: I don’t know.

FV: Surely you would. Ah yes, you said he was untested and should be given a chance. Is it about him or about you getting another chance?

PM: Do you think I need another chance? I am wiser now…

FV: So you will stay out?

PM: Not at all. I am wiser, which means I will find better ways to get in.

FV: There was a TV debate later and your former spokesperson Major Gen. Rashid Qureshi was holding the flag for you. Is the Pakistani army like Indian democrats where people in exile or waiting in the wings have someone to keep their seat for them?

PM: Not at all. I am curious about what he said, though. Did he say I was chu….. (Mr. Qureshi gained notoriety for using an Urdu cuss word on Pakistan television)

FV: He suggested you were chu…chewing over several options. He did not say it, but it came across.

PM: Good boy.

FV: Right. The Pakistani army seems like an old boys’ club.

PM: Are you suggesting we are sexist?

FV: No. I don’t suppose women would want to actively be a part of it.

PM: You saw what happened to Gaddafi?

FV: But he was a permanent colonel, more titular than anything else.

PM: The same in Pakistan. We skip ranks, because our main role is politics.

FV: Will General Kayani join politics?

PM: I don’t know

FV: Of course, you do.

PM: Let me put it this way. He does not have to. It is very complicated in Pakistan.

FV: Then why do you wish to return?

PM: Because I can solve so many problems. I can call a jirga anyday.

FV: But that is only in the Pakhtun areas.

PM: Today, it is possible anywhere. Just call a few people and take quick decisions.

FV: That is what the Taliban is doing.

PM: Everyone is. Even the media. Imran Khan too had a jalsa…

FV: That is different…there were thousands of people.

PM: All of them do not take decisions.

FV: You keep talking about enlightened moderation. What exactly does it mean?

PM: I don’t know.

FV: Please try.

PM: Do you have any knowledge of gravity?

FV: A bit.

PM: If Newton had seen that the apple remained on the tree and a grape had fallen, then it would be like enlightened moderation. I will give one more example. You have a bright light in the room; if you use a dimmer and make it moderate, what do you get?

FV: Dim light.

PM: No. Moderate light. That is enlightened moderation.

FV: This is enlightening.

PM: It should always be in moderation, otherwise you become an extremist.

FV: How would you describe yourself in this scheme?

PM: I don’t know.

- - -

(c) Farzana Versey

- - -

Obviously, this is a satire. The real interview can be seen here

The Interview

I was on the other side, being interviewed. It wasn’t the first time but I constantly found myself asking the questions inside my head. It’s part of the experiences I have had. So, before I get to me, I shall get to them.

How does it feel to get into the mind of someone, I am often asked. The answer is always: Challenging. Almost all of my one-on-one interviews have been rather intense. It is two people in a room, not unlike the relationship between a psychiatrist and a ‘patient’, except that the roles can and do get swapped. It is amazing how much you discover about yourself in the very nature of the queries you pose. Even after all these years, I like to have some questions ready; there on I take off from the response I get.

Then, a Pandora’s Box opens, and the treasures could be precious memories, newly-formed opinions, or skeletons, and there have been occasions when the person has broken down or felt elated or got angry because what had remained submerged suddenly spurted out. The catharsis was not expected. I still recall this woman quite literally jumping on the sofa I was sitting on, her rage barely contained. It was a large house filled with antiques. Should I leave or leave her alone? The answer came in the form of tears - mine. I sat there, plunging my nails into the upholstery. She had calmed down and reapplied her makeup. There was a smile on her lips and her long fingers touched my hand.

One thing I know. If you are not honest, you won’t get honesty. It may sound strange but I have met honest politicians, or at least whatever was discussed was done so honestly. Recently, I had to make a sort of list of the interviews I have done and the range includes industrialists, gangsters, people from films, academics, science, sports, activism, feminism, theatre, writing, media, astrology, psychology, sexology, religion. These are what may be called ‘names’ in their respective fields, but there have been very many others who were interviewed on themes. It could be a story on beggars or eunuchs or nuns. (Me: “Sister, what do you fantasise about?”)

How much of oneself enters into the subject’s voice? It depends on how the interview has progressed. I do not buy into the theory that one must not express an opinion in an interview. I spend a minimum of an hour and besides the words recorded there are the background sounds and images and my own voice.

“I was looking for your voice,” said a writer-colleague about my book. “It was there throughout but I found it most evident in the section with interviews.”

“But, they were speaking.”

“Your questions were what created this chain and sometimes you’d just move on, almost impatient!”

It was a perceptive observation and quite true.

So five months ago, in October, when I got a call from Khaleej Times (UAE) asking for an interview, I did not at the time know anything about the media there. “Why,” I asked.

“Because of your book.”

“That’s been around for a while,” I said.

“Yes, but it will be interesting for our readers and we will also talk about the other issues you write about.”

She told me she had been “warned” that I was very particular about whether she had really read any of the stuff and promised me that she had and will read more before we met.

I walked into the hotel lobby where we were to meet. My foot was recovering from a fracture so it was in a stopgap air cast. I would have been easily identifiable although the white slacks did cover the pumpkin green cast. No, she did not spot me. I just went up to the lone young woman sitting there in a hijaab. We moved to the coffee shop and the first thing she said was, “I was told you are a veteran.”

“Hmm, well, yes, I guess so…”

“You don’t look…” and the thought trailed off.

I told a media friend from that part of the world about it and asked how one was supposed to look like a veteran and why did I not, and he was quite exasperated, “A normal person would take this as a compliment.”

The interviewer was honest. I could sense it. There were questions about inspiration, the book, my political views, the process of writing, and some fun queries. It went on for over an hour. I did not want a photographer around. Now, I don’t have a portfolio and I took a few self-timer pictures. It shows.

I got a small shock when I saw the paper (it was in the main section and not the supplement and was duly announced in an earlier page). The low-resolution image had been blown up. I immediately knew what had happened. It helps being a ‘veteran’. Most of the quotes had not been carried and it must have been a last-minute decision. People who know informed me that my views are not always ‘proper’, so they had to temper it. Why could they not use a long blurb, instead? It was also referred to as a new book, but again my friend said, “Some people think Anna Karenina is a new book.”

The problem is that if you have been an interviewer for long, you do tend to be understanding: People at the desk only know that chop means chop from anywhere, including have an abrupt end without any context. I was particularly distressed about discovering that I do not read. I do not read maniacally other people's views on the subject I am working on. It does interfere.

This is one more aspect to note. I research a person only to an extent that I know the background or the specific topic of expertise. In my case, I have already spoken quite a bit, written a lot, there are reviews, so rather unfortunately a good deal of that seeped in and the interviewer’s fresh queries and my replies went wasted, except about how the book happened which I have not spoken about yet. Heck, she should have asked me about favourite fragrances or something and there would be more words rather than the grainy picture.

But you know what? Most people don’t care for what you say or how you think. For them a big picture is the big picture. So, text messages were exchanged about how I was in the news. I found it embarrassing, which is why I held back until now. Because now I can see the humour when an acquaintance who does not have any interest in writers or writings had held the paper against the lamp in a Chinese restaurant and said, “Man, I did not know you had been mainlining. You look like you’ve been out of rehab.”

“Hrmph, so has Lindsay Lohan. And I am a veteran.”

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The interview is uploaded on 'A Journey Interrupted blog' here.

Yes, there is a scanned image and I have never mainlined or mainstreamed for that matter!

Iss se pehle ke hum bewafaa ho jaaye....

Two years ago he died on this day. Ahmed Faraz is known for a varied range of poetry. I have chosen this one for two reasons. One is personal. The lectern says 'Holiday Inn'. It was close to his office towards the end of his life, an office he was thrown out from. It was at Holiday Inn that he asked me to join him for lunch and I had to decline. Had to? Do you refuse Faraz? Let us just say I had committed to be elsewhere and I think he would have done the same. The other reason for putting up this video is because he says before reciting that things have not changed much in Pakistan. This was the poem that got him in trouble and he was imprisoned during General Zia ul Haq's regime.

There are a few people who you read and read about and then you meet and it is not the same. With him, his poetry was him and he was his poetry.

Ahmed Faraz reads 'Muhasara' - The Siege

What Tiger Woods Told Me

Everyone is counting his conquests. Here is one side, and a flip side, and then the flip the flip side. This could be the flop side.

It goes something like this: Tiger is of mixed race and it is a racial issue. Tiger was the good boy and he let us down. Tiger should have chosen the women with care. Tiger has every right to do what he wants as long as he plays golf. Tiger is being blackmailed. Tiger married a gold digger.

I thought it best to interview the man himself.

Do you think the problem is because you are like…er…Blackish?

“Green and black go well together, don't they?”

Like the grass is greener on the other side?

“Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.”

That’s pretty demeaning. I mean, why would white men dress like black pimps, and what about black pimps tells them apart from white ones and does golf come in, anyway?

“I get to play golf for a living. What more can you ask for - getting paid for doing what you love.”

Umm…you get paid for getting yourself what you are supposed to be getting for others?

"If I have more wins than anybody else and win more majors than anybody else in the same year, then it's been a good year."

What aspect of this love do you like best?

“I want to be what I've always wanted to be: dominant.”

Dominance can make you selfish but not self-reliant. You need to kind of look around…

“And I don't cook, either. Not as long as they still deliver pizza.”

Pizza is junk food. How much is too much? I know it satiates the appetite. Is that all?

“…you can characterize it and describe it however you want, but I have a love and a passion for getting that ball in the hole and beating those guys.”

So, who are the guys you want to beat?

“As a kid, I might have been psycho, I guess, but I used to throw golf balls in the trees and try and somehow make par from them. I thought that was fun.”

Mistaking the woods for the trees, eh? What does that teach you?

“You can always become better.”

But you obviously are good. Great, in fact.

“I did envisage being this successful as a player, but not all the hysteria around it off the golf course.”

It has happened. You are there. There are guys envious of you. They don’t care whether it is cocktail waitresses or nannies or TV presenters…

“If you are given a chance to be a role model, I think you should always take it because you can influence a person's life in a positive light, and that's what I want to do. That's what it's all about.”

You think all this is positive?

“It will always be the ball and me.”

Ah, so you are singularly blessed.

- - -

The quotes are real and have been used here in a different context only for reasons of parody and not to malign anyone. Not even golf.

Hey Pakistanis, say hello to Manmohan Singh!

We ain't talking...just tickled pink

A head of state goes public and says that he does not know who to talk with in the country we consider tricky business.

Prime Minister Manmohan Singh is clearly sounding like a lost child:

“I do not think whether we have a partner right now. I think, when General Pervez Musharraf was there (president of Pakistan), I was to ask him and he said well I am the army, I represent the armed forces, I represent the people. Now I do not know whom to deal with. It is not clear if the president is in charge of the army.”

Why would the Indian PM want to talk with the army guys? We have a chief of army staff, we have a defence minister.

And what is this about a partner? Are we discussing trade?

Asked if the Pakistani army was serious in tackling terrorism, Singh said he was not certain if the Pakistani army would take on those elements. “I think the most elemental force in Pakistan is the army. There is democracy. We would like democracy to succeed and flourish in Pakistan, but we have to recognise that the power today virtually rests with the army,” he said.

Right. He is saying that the Pak army is powerful, yet there is democracy, which he likes, but he wants to talk to the army because they are supposed to contain terrorism, which they are not serious about, and they won’t let democracy flourish. What is going on?

He says all this sitting on the CNN seat with Fareed Zakaria before his trip to the US.

It might appear to be a smart move from the Obama angle, but people at home won’t find it remotely sensible. Aren't we supposed to take a stand on terrorism? Instead we have our PM going all Red Riding Hood with the big bad wolf act.

Here is a clue:When it is time for playing diplomatic footsie, it is the politicians and bureaucrats who come to the table. You go to war with the army unless a country is under military rule.

Next, Dr. Singh will want to chat up the ISI. That might not be a bad idea since the agency works with officers as well as ‘gentlemen’.

Doing me...

“Ma’am, we would like to do an interview.”

“About?”

“Just you, y’know, stuff.”

“Have you read the book?”

“Nooo…”

“Seen it?”

“Yeah. Cover looks cool.”

“So what will you ask me?”

“Stuff about your likes and things.”

“Hmm…I don’t have any likes and dislikes.”

“Aww, c’mon…if you are free we will send a photographer for a shoot tomorrow at your place.”

“What does a photo-shoot have to do with this book?”

“Oh, just stuff. Ambience, etc.”

Sure. I was getting the hang of it. Everybody I spoke to, including the serious types, told me I should go ahead.

I imagined myself curled on the sofa in the living room with the Indian flag in the background, holding a tasbeeh (prayer beads) in my hand while I gazed at a picture of the crescent and moon as a model airplane sat at a table beside me – all to convey the title of the book.

I have refused to give many interviews, some of the nature above. Even at the launch I was told a girl wanted to talk to me about the Partition. “But,” I told the person organising it, “there are people, I cannot just hole myself away.”

“It will take only five minutes.”

“Five minutes to discuss the Partition?”

Then I was told to name five books on the subject. I said not now. Fine, I was branded arrogant.

It really isn’t about arrogance, but not playing just about any game you are expected to.

One interview I did give, a fairly long one; it wasn’t carried. Wish the writer had checked with the publication about how ‘legit’ I am among certain media people!

I gave one more, this to a small web portal. The reason? It was new, the intent seemed right. I forgot all about it till I was told yesterday. It appeared in August and they have used the picture from this blog! Thankfully, they have removed the leopard eyes; if only someone had thought of taking out the half face too.

Talking of conducting interviews, I recall how much time one spent. Before the first big solo interview I did, the editor had asked me to prepare a questionnaire. I did. 60.

“How much time do you think he has?”

“As much time as it needs to finish these,” I said.

It was not meant to be cocky. If you want to probe a mind, discover something, then you have to give it time. He did. Of course, I did not stick to that structured questionnaire. And, yes, I did not know a darn thing about him. There were no search engines. I just called up several people to find out, read a bit – all this in a few hours and between completing another piece. This is how most of us worked.

I have been accused of being too hands-on, that I should delegate transcription and research to someone. I don’t know. Maybe it is possessiveness; maybe it is just replaying and rediscovering new things along the way.

Why am I talking so much about this today? A review has appeared. (I would not have known but for well-wishers who sent me the link. Thank you…)

Now, about reviews let me tell you about the one in a prominent publication. It was sent through a booktracking agency. As I read the words, they sounded familiar. I was shocked to realise that it was completely plagiarised from another review. With one original line - it said you should not buy the book. It would have been fair enough except that the full review preceding it was very positive!

A few days later, I clicked on the link and, poof, it was gone. Caught out.

This is intriguing. Why would any writer do such a thing? It wasn’t like s/he was getting a scoop, or it was a news story or something topical. It isn’t about a must-write-about thing.

Another point: When people say you are making generalisations, would they be kind enough to write out the words instead of adding dots?

I was telling this to someone and she said, “Enjoy it. This adds to the enigma.”

And here I thought enigma was a lonely hunter…

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If you want to read the interview and the review, just click on the words. The latter gives quite a peek into the ‘characters’.

Ab ke hum bichchde tau shaayad kabhi khwaabon mein mile: Faraz Lives

There are some things you cannot pack in during interviews. (Read the full version here.) The same happened with Ahmed Faraz. Little things: I called and said, “I am Farzana” as though he was supposed to know. He did not ask “Kaun?” He gave me the directions to where he was. When? “Ab…” Now. I liked the sense of nowness, the urgency. 

He flattered, he cajoled, he looked amused as my tape-recorder went quiet and laughed aloud as I kept banging it on his table to get it started. There was curiosity. I began to see the blue of my kameez differently. It became not just an electric blue; it became something that he called luminescent. 

He got several calls. All from women. I can tell these things. His voice dropped, not as in a secret, but a whisper. Then a group of government types came in. The interview was done and I thought I should leave. He said, “I thought you will join me for lunch.”

I had to miss it, but I know what he meant when he told me, “Sometimes new people too give you the feeling that you have met them before, which makes you wonder about reincarnation.”

Some people are just reborn again and again because they never leave. He was what I have called the conscience of Pakistan. He loved it enough to criticise it and question it. His words in his own voice keep challenging…the heavens can wait…

In search of an identity

If any of you want, here is an interview and review that has appeared in today's The News, Pakistan. Also uploaded on my other blog.

Talking of interviews, a small one appeared on July 4 in The Asian Age pull-out section. Damn, I have been misquoted so badly...when I said some Pakistanis wonder how I (as in an Indian Muslim) can live among idol worshippers and those who kill Muslims - and these were real quotes from people - the quote has been attributed to me. As in according to FV, "How can I..." blah, blah...