Dangerous India?

Most foreign tourists still come to India for some exotica and because the dollar goes a long way. Indians might fool themselves that they visit us to see our humming factories and zooming cars in our streets, but they are really into the slumdogs, not the millionaires.

They do not want to see Mukesh Ambani's mansion or a Nano car in action. They are at best amused when they see the limited edition sedans vying for space with lazing cows in the street. The 'difference' is what appeals. And they'd take home a picture of themselves with the cow/camel or whatever animal they espy, not with the car or the rich.

They'll sit in a boat that offers ensuite crapping facilities and even sing praises about how their droppings make it into the backwaters. So, it is understandable that India is upset that we will lose out on phirang manure.

Five countries - the United States, the UK, Canada, Australia and New Zealand - have issued advisories against travel to India during the festival season. The reason: caution about the terror threat.

The West loves this terror threat as much as it loves its Big Macs. And they love Indian festivals - they visit during these because they get to take in the culture, place flowers over mausoleums of dead queens, watch naked sadhus, throw colour, light firecrackers. This is Halloween many times over. Now, terrorism is quite akin to that. A mask that hides something; they don't know what, so if their mai-baap (the government) tells them it wants to save them, they listen.

This latest piece of protectionism has made India's tourism minister, Subodh Kant Sahay, angry:

“I have taken this up with the external affairs ministry and asked it to persuade these countries to withdraw the advisories immediately. This is nothing but scare-mongering. Leave aside other parts of India, 100% booking is being reported from J&K. If this isn’t a sign of normalcy, what is?”

I understand his pain, but the manner in which he has mentioned Jammu and Kashmir just shows that there is only kind of terrorism even India wants to hold as an example.  There is insurgency/disturbance in many other parts, but who wants to go to Dantewada/Jaitapur/Telengana? And tourists do not visit the Delhi High Court.

Has the government ever assured Indian tourists that places are safe? Most depend on travel agents for advice; these guys do a recce and are more responsible than the tourism departments.

However, there are foreign tourists who do take risks. For some, the edginess is as exciting as bungee jumping. Then, there are those who, besides seeking spiritualism, manage to 'contribute' by helping those who suffer. "We know how it feels," they seem to suggest, completely losing out on the irony.

Then, there is the low season factor, which is great value for money. They are the smart ones that calculate how many foreigners can be taken hostage and figure out the chances are one in a million or way less. Besides, it is not all great back home. Instead of occupying Wall Street, they can just hop into a low cost airline and bum it in India, where they are treated like gods. Really. We have a dictum, also in the scriptures: Atithi devo bhava (The guest is god) So, Aamir Khan endorses our tourism board by telling some poor cabbies not to mess with the foreign tourists. they are our guests/gods.

Why would the guy who drives a black cab in London or sits at the cash counter at Walmarts not rake it?

Besides, the advisory is probably to save the countries from making sure that the Indian economy does not look as chippy as it does for those who are indeed going through a low phase. I won't be surprised if they try and sell some sort of patriotism with this terror threat and also keep the money where it belongs. At home.

But India need not worry too much. There are still those who like the elephant in the room, so to speak.

Precious memory of the Puram festival in Thrissur, Kerala. Dusty, hot and sunny. Foreign woman in transparent pyjamas intently watching the backs of elephants and finally going down on her knees to capture a fart. Like any threat, it was invisible.

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Just thought I'd link this other piece I wrote to give a different perspective: Can Indian Men Handle Foreign Women?  Some interesting comments there...

Also some personal vignettes from an older piece: These Boots Are Gonna Walk All Over You

Gays and Maoists

Courtney and Sarah

When the two American gay women got married in Kathmandu, they probably were not aware that they were fighting Maoists.

Psychologist Courtney Mitchell and lawyer Sarah Welton exchanged vows as a Brahmin priest presided over the ceremony at the Dakshinkali temple.

Of course, westerners love these exotic traditions and part of the reason for the Nepal choice is that their marriage is not recognised in their native Colorado.

So, is Nepal more progressive? There is a more pragmatic reason. A while ago there was a report making it clear:

Nepal Tourism Board (NTB) officials hope that LGBT arrivals will give a boost to the number of visitors to the country as the government mulls new ways to bring in a million foreign tourists every year by 2011.

“Some international companies want to work in tandem with the government and attract LGBTs,” said an NTB official. “The beginning is encouraging.”

The sudden spurt in this niche market was due to the decade-long Maoist insurgency that affected tourism. The 10 per cent that constitutes sexual minorities need a space where they can roam free and not be judged. If a country offers itself openly as such a place, then there are bound to be takers. In fact, in this “first Asian public lesbian wedding”, Nepal’s only gay legislator, Sunil Babu Pant, did not waste any time and kick-started wedding packages for same sex partners with his Pink Mountain Travels and Tours.

The Maoist position on such alliances is not known and one should hope that a targeted group is not being created to deflect the danger elsewhere.

Mr. Bachchan's Brand Politics

Oh, they are overdoing it. Oh, he has every right to attend functions. Oh, he is our national asset and conducted himself with grace as opposed to the politicians.

Did the Congress have to react to Amitabh Bachchan’s presence at the sealink with chief minister Ashok Chavan? Did it have any business to ask whether he supports Narendra Modi’s role in the Gujarat riots? Is there a conspiracy against poor Mr. B that they removed the audio-visual clips of Abhiskek, who is the brand ambassador of the World Wildlife Fund?

Okay, the Congress has no love lost, but Mr. Bachchan did not have any problems when his son was given a premature award by the UP government because of their connections. You cannot play a game and expect to only have your cards.

Now, he has gone on the offensive-defensive. He has asked readers of his blog to tell him what to do – which function to attend. This is not public opinion but playing to the gallery. The media is sucking up to him big-time. Imagine the millennium superstar saying he was a failure in politics. They want to tell him, no, no, you did not fail, politics failed you.

This is what he writes:

Ever since leaving politics I have never partaken in any political activity, never made any political statement or shown public allegiance to any political outfit. As a citizen of this country I have a confidential right in not divulging publically my political allegiance, that is if I have any.

Gujarat was there before Mr Modi and shall remain even after him. The divine temple of Somnath in Gujarat was not built personally by Mr Modi, nor did he construct the ancient civilizations of Haraapa, nor did he have a hand in the existence of the lost city of Dwarka, or the beauteous white soils of the Rann of Kutch, and neither did he order the construction of the largest number of heritage sites in the State. These are all vital important and exquisite jewels in the crown of the majestic State of Gujarat, in the most beautiful country of the World, India, and I want to see ..who is going to stop me from glorifying them !!
ATTACK ME, ABUSE ME, CRUCIFY ME … DO WHAT YOU CAN AND WILL … I SHALL NOT STOP. I AM GOING TO DO IT !!

Hahaha…hahahaha….haahhaaahaha…

You find this laughter cheesy and stupid? Well, this is what the great superstar has done.

SO, MR B, NO ONE IS STOPPING YOU FROM GLORIFYING ALL THOSE HERITAGE SITES, BUT SINCE WHEN HAS NARENDRA MODI BECOME ONE?

Remember what you had said?

“I do not agree with anyone who calls me shahenshah. This title is more apt for Modi; I am nowhere close.”

Hahahahah?

And when you were brand ambassador of Uttar Pradesh we did not hear you promote any specific sites, nor have we seen you do it for Somnath etc. When did you discover the beauty of the state? And when will you film your next project in that Gujarat?

You also have some social responsibility, not as a celebrity but as a citizen. I had questioned Ratan Tata and his Nano project and I questioned you, too here:

And, as a citizen of the country, he ought to realise that the Modi regime has been harsh on the industry from which he earns his livelihood. He may not protest when their films are banned, but the least he can do is not help out an establishment whose human rights record is abysmal.

Mr. Amitabh Bachchan has conveniently sold out to the best possible hope for him at the moment. Mr. Bachchan has acted irresponsibly in doing so.

If this is not political activity, then please let us know if the Gujarat Tourism Board is not part of the state government. If it is, then you are hired by a political organisation. And since you are not a peon or a clerk, you represent the politics of the state. You mentioned Somnath, did you not? You forgot Gandhi and Porbandar. I mean the Mahatma.

The Eye and Eyes

That week in England, just before I was to leave for home, I decided I had to see the London Eye. Although it was unashamedly touristy, I felt this urge. On reaching there I was told there was a technical problem and it might open only at noon; it was 10.30.

I walked towards the Dali exhibition, then sat on a bench and starting writing something morbid, my pen twisted at an angle as though reluctant to commit. A few people hesitated before asking me to take their group pictures. I felt like taking back a digital memory as well. I managed half a smile and returned to my place.



An old woman came and sat next to me and unpeeled a sandwich wrapped in plastic; it looked stale as dry crumbs fell. She remained expressionless, looking nowhere but at the target of her hunger. There was so much desolation in those few minutes – was that her lifetime?

So lost in thought was I that I decided to walk back towards the gate. There was already a queue. I had not bothered to exchange my counterfoil for a ticket. I ran quickly and was being ushered into one capsule. After the metal detector and the rummaging of the bag, the security person asked, “Anything sharp?” I had already moved ahead but I called out to him, “Yes…”

He arched his eyebrows in a query…what??

“My mind!”

I did not wait to see his reaction.

Inside the capsule we were told to take precautions since we would be going very high and could feel dizzy or get sick. I started clicking – the sky, the river, the Big Ben, Westminster Abbey, buildings, others in the capsules, people below – tiny figures. We all look like crumbs from stale sandwiches.

As we were descending, an announcement was made that our pictures would be taken by a remote camera and we should all move to the North-east side. Everyone stood…well, most did. A bit diffidently, I felt I too needed a souvenir. I ambled to a spot. When I went to collect the picture, there were several flashing on the monitor.

I was there with the thick line that ran across the capsule dividing me into two. The girl at the counter apologised, “Sorry about that.”

“Not at all. That’s me, all right.”

Bachchan, Modi, Terrorists and Mumbai

Political expediency can be this obvious:

Bollywood superstar Amitabh Bachchan has formally agreed to become the brand ambassador. Bachchan will participate in the development of Gujarat. He will use his image worldwide to promote tourism. Chief minister Narendra Modi in a letter to Bachchan has welcomed the actor’s decision.

Mr Bachchan was the brand ambassador of Uttar Pradesh. Ever since Amar Singh’s fallout with Mulayam Singh Yadav, it was understood that the Bachchans would not stick around. However, he ought not to have been in such a hurry. Gujarat has been flaunting its economic progress; it has done well for itself. So, obviously, it isn’t that everything was in the doldrums and they needed a superstar.

Mr B’s relationship and exposure to Gujarat is limited. I can hear the voices saying, he is an Indian and the best representative. True. But tourists are not going to flock to the state because of him. To make it worse, he had this to say:

“I do not agree with anyone who calls me shahenshah. This title is more apt for Modi; I am nowhere close.”

And, as a citizen of the country, he ought to realise that the Modi regime has been harsh on the industry from which he earns his livelihood. He may not protest when their films are banned, but the least he can do is not help out an establishment whose human rights record is abysmal.

This is complete obeisance, typical Bachchan fake humility. Only in this case, it sends out a different message. He owes it to the people of the nation. I doubt whether we’ll hear much against this, and if you do it will be couched in sober words.

Mr Amitabh Bachchan has conveniently sold out to the best possible hope for him at the moment. Mr Bachchan has acted irresponsibly in doing so.

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How stupid it all is. This Marathi maanus versus the rest of the country. I have said it before that the RSS will not support the Shiv Sena stance because the saffron lot depends on the northern belt. So, no surprises about the BJP’s position.

However, they have smartly – and wrongly – invoked Article 370 to define the Sena attitude to that prevalent in Jammu and Kashmir. One has to do with sovereignty; the other prejudice. One has got a historical reason, however fissiparous it has turned out to be; the other is simply to keep out immigrants from within. Article 370 does not talk about kashmiriat; the Sena idea is about Marathi maanus.

Is the opposition to this strong, or even sensible, enough? No. Here is what Rahul Gandhi has said:

“North Indians (NSG) saved Mumbaikars during 26/11. If terror has to be fought, let Biharis stay in.”

This is ridiculous. Is he trying to say that the NSG specifically employs only North Indians? How many Mumbaikars were saved? What about the times they were not saved? Since when have Biharis become the force against terror? Is this about terrorism at all?

Sheer poppycock is passing for politics, which is bad enough on its own.

All that has to be done is throw the Constitution on the face of the Shiv Sena or drag the party to court. No Opposition party will dare do that because they are thinking about the future, about coalitions, about feeding their own vote banks.

Tweeting Tharoor Again

Come on guys, is there anyone out there calling Shashi Tharoor a jihadi apologist?

Imagine a statement like this coming from someone like you know who:

“Is all that worth it just in hope of making it difficult for a future Headley to recce? R we going 2 allow terrorists 2 make us less welcoming? 26/11 killers had no visas.”

This has been my position and that of quite a few people. Don’t know about the quite a few people, but we know what happens when I state this.

But, what are his reasons? He talks as though terrorists are spoiling the party when we had those cute pictures and sound bytes from tourists who ‘braved’ the 26/11 anniversary to be here, sat at Leopold with their beers, walked down the Gateway promenade and generally ‘challenged’ the terrorists.

Tharoor’s statement sounds a bit too smart and Obamaesque and falls straight in line with how the West thinks. Those governments may occasionally put out terror alerts, but they will make sure that they do not lose the India commercial connection. And sure enough, that is his concern: Tourism and business. He is one-dimensional in his approach, as has become clear by now.

It is our government and the opposition parties that have created the paranoia. Instead of tweeting about it, he should be discussing it with his ministers. By saying that the terrorists had no visas he is implying that our security is not up to nuff and anyone can indeed get in.

So, here’s a tweet for the minister: “Hol desntns full, Mum partng like crzy. Time 4 u to workout where Headley did n got Moksha. U cn get urs too. Hppy Nw yr n hand-on-heart sing Jana Gana Mana!”
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*Moksha is the name of the gym that Headley often visited.

The Case of Two States

From tomorrow there won't be any pre-paid mobile connections allowed in Kashmir. That region was given cellphones after years and now this.

Just in case the Home Minister is not aware, photo IDs are mandatory for both pre- and post-paid connections. Surely, limited vendors can be given distribution rights. Besides, since satellite technology is used, the authorities can keep tabs quite easily. But that's not the point.

Who suffers? The citizen and the Kashmiri is a citizen of India. The country is denying them basic rights using the security against terrorism tactic. Terrorists can manage to get connections as well as have them. They have other means of communication. And in areas where signals are weak would they depend on some cellphone provider?

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Meanwhile, foreign tourists are being given visas on arrival in Goa against all immigration laws. This is being done with the help of the authorities. Reportedly eight such tourists arrive every day, mostly Russians.

As always there is concern about the 'drug cartel'. The Taliban have more drugs but that would be a different issue, wouldn't it?

As we have seen, Goa has experienced blasts. So how has this been permitted to go on? Will they stop cellphones in Goa so they can protect the citizens? Was this special privilege granted only to lure more tourists?

In that case, Kashmir was a tourist haven. Why was it cut off from access to what are now basic facilities?

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End Quote:

"Madrassas encouraging militancy in the country." - RSS chief Mohan Bhagwat

A warm welcome to Sadhvi Pragya and her chelas.

Swami Ramdev, Modi and a Love Child

Islands

It isn’t unusual. In fact, it is along expected lines. Swami Ramdev has bought a Scottish isle for about £2 million (Rs 16 crore) to set up a wellness retreat. What is surprising is this:

The conch-shaped Little Cumbrae island, spread over 1.25 sq km and home to a 13th century castle, was put on the block by its previous owner due to the global financial crisis.

Obviously, spiritualism has suffered from no recession. People are still spending money “for scientific research and treatment in yoga, spiritualism and ayurveda”. Why is this jim-jam being garbed as research? Yoga therapies, ayurveda are already there in ancient texts. And what scientific research can be conducted in spiritualism? A personal quest is not dependent on analysis or measured.

The Swami’s explanation is this:

“The base is not about property as much as it is about spreading Indian values. My aim is to turn this island into a peace haven.”

What is the need to spread Indian values oversees when Indians themselves are aping the West? What exactly are these values? Contorting the body, eating stuff procured from forests and swallowing long strings to bring out mucus? What is so un-peaceful about the island that it will transform into a peace haven?

It will only increase tourism. Travellers will throng to the place, after having satiated themselves with haggis, shortbread, tartan scarves and kilts and want to retire for some S&M – spiritualism and massage. These places are no different from detox spas and, while the regular parlours are pretty upfront, here it probably makes people just feel better for no reason other than partaking of an ‘inner journey’.

If Swami Ramdev is so concerned about peace, he could have chosen an Indian island like the Andamans or Lakshadweep.

And someone please make it clear that this Swami has not revived yoga. There are several institutes that have been quietly doing their work and people practising it. When your mind is searching with a resolve in the stillness, you are on a higher plane without the arrogance of making tall claims about it.

Villages

If Narendra Modi says there are no villages in Gujarat, you just believe it. His reason to sneak out of it is the plan to set up gram nyayalayas (village courts) for quick dispensation of justice.

A report says CM of Delhi Sheila Dikshit too said there were no villages in her jurisdiction and the newspaper explains it as a possibility because:

the once upon a time villages in Delhi have been consumed by rapid urbanisation given the need of a burgeoning population.

I do not understand. We have had panchayats for years and these village courts decided by the union government is only one more move at interference.

To give Modi his due here, he has agreed to have “mobile courts…at the grassroot level”. Makes sense. Now if only he does not have chaps like Vanzara and company getting all mobile. Okay, could not resist that one. I prefer Modi’s idea in principle.

Huh?

Rather sick headline in TOI:

Masaba Gupta, India’s first celebrity love child, has had to sprint many races before finding a voice.

Masaba with Neena

She is the offspring of West Indian Vivian Richard and actress Neena Gupta and has made her debut at the recent fashion week. She spoke about being a product of black and white, not quite fathoming what ‘white’ means. I am sure she must have faced questions and got weird looks. Many people do for various reasons.

Had she not had famous parents would anyone make this seem so legitimate? What is there to shout about India’s first celebrity love child? Is this an achievement? Two people shared some moments of passion and the woman chose to have the baby. Who took the responsibility, how the parenting was done is between the parents.

Let the media not prop this up.

Lord Rama replaces Amitabh Bachchan

Move over, Mr. B. The competition is now really stiff. Nothing compared to the ambassadorship of Uttar Pradesh. In the gubernatorial stakes, the good lord has got mythology, religion and culture all backing him.

Lord Rama is now the official ambassador of Gujarat. According to legend, Hanuman was born in that state. And then these people complain about an Italian being the Congress chief only because she married an Indian. Such proxy glory and relationships are fine to further ends…

Next time you visit Gujarat, even if it is only to meet your favourite trader, eat undhiyo, drink masala chhaas, and then make a quick trip to buy some nice bandhni sarees and souvenir torans, please do the ‘Rama Trail’. These are essentially places important to Hanuman. Read the following carefully:

“It is believed that when Hanuman was flying to Lanka with a mountain from the Himalayan ranges with the Sanjeevani booti to save Laxman, a piece of it fell in Gujarat’s Dangs district at Anjani Parbat,” said State tourism minister Jay Narayan Vyas.

Officials said the Sri Lankan tourism delegation was all set to join hands with Gujarat government to develop a ‘Rama trail’ on the lines of the one existing in Sri Lanka.

Think Tamils 2009. Think Gujarat 2002.

Anything for god, though. So, it is not surprising that the two have got together. Gujarat has added Mahatma Gandhi, for his “mass appeal”, as another ambassador. They will play up his “Hey Rama” last words. What else?

Now, I look forward to a ‘Modi Trail’. Tourists will be taken to various ‘ruins’ and finally end up in a room full of dusty files. The guide will announce, “Ane aa Gujarati asmita chhe”. And this is the self-esteem of Gujarat. Sure.

It is so easy to pass of the danda as a dandiya stick and make it seem like tradition.