A Fasting Muslim and the Shiv Sena

Who would have imagined that the humble chapati would take centre stage in politics? It is on national television in the form of grainy images of a beefy-looking man forcing another man to eat it. They are no ordinary men. One is a Shiv Sena leader, the other is a fasting Muslim. Being Muslim is tough enough; a fasting Muslim seems to be even more of a dangling identity.

However, I'd like to ask whether it is only the Shiv Sena that is using/abusing or capitalising on this identity. To get to the story first:

A group of around 11 Shiv Sena MPs, apparently angry over not being served Maharashtrian food, allegedly forced a Muslim catering superviser who was fasting for Ramzan to eat a chapati at the new Maharashtra Sadan in Delhi last week. Within hours, IRCTC, the Indian Railways subsidiary that was catering for the Sadan, stopped all operations in protest, and complained in writing to the Maharashtra Resident Commissioner, saying the employee, Arshad Zubair S, had been “deeply pained and hurt… as religious sentiments are attached”.

Would this have become news had it not been a Muslim at the receiving end? Unlikely. And the tone would have been vastly different. What we see now is bluster from all sides, and Mr. Arshad who might have certainly felt violated in some way will have to go along with the "hurt sentiment" politics because he is only a pawn. In his complaint, he said:

“All the guests along with media reporters and staffs of Maharashtra Sadan got into kitchen where I was getting the orders prepared. They caught me and put the chapati into my mouth. I was wearing a formal uniform set as prescribed by IRCTC and everybody in the panel also knew my name as ‘Arshad’ as I was wearing the name tag. Even then they inserted chapati in my mouth which caused my fast to break on the eve of Ramzan. I was hurt with the thing they have done as religious sentiments are concerned.”

The hurt should be over such physical abuse, of forcing anybody to eat anything. The Shiv Sena is communal. It is obvious that those MPs deliberately made him eat, although they knew he was fasting. They had problems with other facilities like electricity, so would they give shocks to the person in charge? Why did the media keep quiet if they were present then? This is being projected as protest against catering vs. religion now.

The incident occurred a week before it was reported. Did it take the authorities seven days to figure out what happened and what hurt was involved? Worse, we are ignoring the issue of damaging of property, parochialism and arrogance of power that the episode is also about, even if there is no story in these.

The MPs were throwing dish covers and threatening the staff. What kind of behaviour is this? Why was there no police complaint immediately, which gave leeway to the officials to cling on to the moral dimension of a fasting man?

The MPs want a Maharashtrian caterer, citing other state bhavans as an example. Arvind Sawant said:

“The food at the Sadan is terrible...They even gave stale water. We wanted to sort these issues out amicably, and did not come with the intention of committing violence. But even on that day, the Resident Commissioner refused to meet us, and after a lot of delay, said that he had gone to receive the Chief Secretary at the airport. Is that not an insult? No tod phod happened at all, but we have been provoked in a sustained manner. Nobody was manhandled, but if you keep abusing, will someone not slap?"

I am quite flummoxed about "stale water". But it is important to note that while denying that any unruliness took place, he is justifying it. The mob wrote "Jai Maharashtra" on the walls of the Regional Commissioner's office besides the behaviour mentioned earlier.

The Shiv Sena often talks with its hands. However, this incident could also be about its political equation with the BJP for the coming assembly elections. Using one chapati, they have raised their 'concerns' before the ruling party:

• The North vs. Marathi maanus
• Violence as legitimate means
• Role of regionalism
• Muslims as religion flashers

All these happen to be the BJP's favourite subjects, too. Therefore, who will benefit the most from emphasising the religious aspect? Or, should we ask, who is bailing out whom?

© Farzana Versey

Babri, Balasaheb and Rehman Malik

Overreactions are the new analyses. So it is that one comment by Pakistan's Interior Minister Rehman Malik has been described as a "blow to Indo-Pak relationship".

This reveals more about us - that for fake diplomacy we will reuse a comparison that we say should not have been made. How convenient it is. Here is what Mr. Malik said:

"We don't want any 9/11, we don't want any Mumbai bomb blast (attacks), we don't want any Samjhauta Express blast and we don't want Babri masjid issue."

We don't want Pakistan to meddle in our affairs, but why the rage? Don't we talk about minorities in Pakistan? Why, we even discuss Balochistan. The minister has subsequently clarified:
"When I spoke of Babri, I never compared it with terror acts. What I said is that we do not want ugly incidents..."

I don't agree with him. My problem is that anything coming from Pakistan about issues to do with Indian Muslims makes it difficult for the latter. We don't need Pakistan to solve our problems, but we don't lead isolated existences. The US rakes up 26/11 on its 'do India' time. Why does it interfere in what is our problem? It uses it for its 'war on terror' narrative.

I'd also like to state in clear terms that the post demolition riots were an act of terror. On what grounds, do we make a difference? Only because our own people did it, does it become a lesser crime?

- - -

Now that Bal Thackeray is no more, should his legacy be killed? I ask this with reference to drop cases against him in the post-Babri Masjid demolition riots, as well as the active participation of Shiv Sainiks in the kar seva and the act, something their leader was proud of on record.

An IPS officer quoted in TOI said: "The CBI has informally approached the Mumbai police for this purpose. We are expecting a written communication from the CBI in a day or two. We will certainly provide them with the relevant documents."

The relevant documents are the death certificate and not reports of incitement.
The others who participated in the crime are alive. Since the CBI has woken up, can it pursue those 20-year-old cases? It is rather impudent that it openly seeks closing of a case against one respondent who is dead, whereas families of several dead people await justice.

But then, when has justice been top priority, especially when we talk about holy cows?

- - -

If one 'legacy' is sought to be scotched, another is being forcibly kept alive.

"If they mind their business, the Indian Army will mind its own." This is what an officer said about preparations for Vijay Diwas at Shivaji Park.

Why does the army have to even talk to the Shiv Sena? The party is refusing to vacate the space and has put a couple of hundred workers on vigil. Newspapers report that there is concern about a midnight coup to dismantle what was meant to be a temporary funeral stage and not a memorial. This is illegal occupation of land. The state government does not need to use sly tactics. It can legally remove the structure.

The latest news is gratifying. The Shiv Sena has agreed to remove the makeshift structure. We are a nation that creates shrines everywhere. Bal Thackeray, whatever be one's political stance towards him, was a leader revered by many. However, a memorial to him is not a national concern. His party has every right to commemorate him, but it needs to do so with government sanction.

It is a bit surprising they wanted the place itself named after Balasaheb. Whatever happened to their fealty towards Chhatrapati Shivaji? Wasn't their leader a huge admirer who, in fact, mimicked the Maratha king?

Uddhav Thackeray, his son and leader of the Sena had better not fall into the trap of old tactics. The lure of demagogues only works until the rally ends. These days, such excitement cannot work as more than retail therapy.

Wailers and vultures

‘With Bal Thackeray on Life Support, Mumbai braces for violence’. The New York Times in its “Notes from the world’s largest democracy” just could not let go of the opportunity.

But, then, this is what the Indian media has been doing. They positioned their OB vans, and how dare those Shiv Sainiks who had gathered near Matoshree, the Shiv Sena leader’s residence, come in the way of their ‘job’. Their job is not to wait for someone to die. Whenever that is to happen, they will know.

Some of them have complained about being hurt in scuffles. This is what happens when there are crowds. The SS has done far worse, with the people, with media-persons. But in the 90s news channels and their prominent anchors were not celebrities. The people who were beaten, whose offices destroyed were not important people in their scheme of things. What a strange coincidence that Nikhil Wagle, among the few who stood up to Bal Thackeray, is today part of one of these tosh news channels.

I have absolutely no sympathy for Thackeray the politician, and it does not even need to be emphasised. If you’ve been around during the 1992-93 riots, you would know, especially if you went where it mattered. Nor am I one of those “oh, it does not change anything only because s/he is dead/ailing”, although I would accord some respect to privacy. And at least I would not think it terribly funny to pun on his name or crack lame jokes. This is to be expected from people who get their information on timelines and find it easy to just lump along with any smart-ass.

Where were all these people when he was well and thriving? Hitting out at someone who is in a weak situation reveals the weakness of the people commenting. Does anyone recall the grand interviews Balasaheb gave to the media? You should watch some to get an idea about how deferential the media was. To see them today screeching about how his legacy is about violence is a tad bit amusing, not to mention that it states the obvious.

Regarding all this talk about how the sainiks have/will behave and what business they have to converge at his place, did anyone ask why Amitabh Bachchan landed up there? Lest anyone forgets or does not know, Mr. B holds a Sunday durbar at his residence. He comes out to greet his fans. The cops are required. He does this because he wants to reciprocate their love or some such thing. Well, then Mr. Thackeray has his supporters. The police force is needed to handle the situation.

And what exactly is the situation? Why does the media indulge in pre-empt strikes about “violence”? Yes, the sainiks can get excitable and agitated. Think about what happens down South when film stars and politicians have died. There are mass suicides.

Some shops did stay shut. Public transport was slow. Who put the germ of the idea that “something might happen” in the minds of these people? Even if some sainiks did go around asking people to down shutters, the snowballing effect is all thanks to the media and social networking sites.

The worst possible aspect is that they are using Muslim shoulders to fire their empty guns. As always, such ‘protective’ instinct is counterproductive.

There is the violence of the street. And the violence of using the possibility of such violence for one's benefit.

Sangma hoga ke nahin....

The two Presidential nominees are going door-to-door appealing to parties and ministers to vote for them.

P.A. Sangma seems to have come into his own, but that could be a smart appearance with canny backing. Let us not forget he had a forgettable stint as Lok Sabha speaker. It is fair enough that Congress candidate Pranab Mukherjee is challenged, although a consensus would be more in keeping with the post. However, Mr.Sangma, even if he is not elected, will have made a few unfortunate points:

• The post is a sop (he has pushed his adivasi status)
• The post is used for regional gains (quite suddenly, everything North East has become quite in, without any real proactive measures being announced)
• The post is being seen as an alternative

Here, Mr. Sangma has been cutting:

"Whatever problem is there in the country today, the price rise problem, the GDP growth rate problem, the FDI problem, petrol price problem, Finance Minister is to be responsible, for which he is to be dumped. And unfortunately, Raisina Hill has become a dumping ground. It is unfortunate for India.”

There is a belief that Mr. Mukherjee is being ’elevated’ for this reason. Surely, he could be moved to another portfolio? There is no compulsion to keep him happy.

The dumping ground theory might turn out to be ironical if Mr. Sangma wins. What happens to Pranabda? Will it be a loss of face for the Congress or a victory for those opposing his selection? Would P A Sangma come out as the underdog?

Not quite. He too would be the ‘dumped’ by those who need a puppet. The BJP, BJD, the Shiromani Akali Dal and the AIADMK – importantly from different regions – are supporting him, or rather challenging Mukherjee. He is trying to get the support of the NCP as well as the Shiv Sena. About the possibility of getting to meet Bal Thackeray, the final deciding force in his party, he said:

"Not everything in politics happens through meetings. Like you (media) have channels, we also have several channels."

This is unfortunate. Worse, with so much bad blood, emotional blackmail, and appealing to varied instincts, will we get a president who will not be partisan?

And should Mukherjee get there, will the other political parties, as well as those who have read and taken Sangma seriously, respect him and the position he holds and not look on him as a castaway?

I wish it were an open ballot. The least a democracy deserves to know is the person who might be at the very least in charge of dealing with death penalties is not elected by specific ministerial huddles for personal gains.

Shiney Bling, Nirupam-Uddhav Sting

We have heard about people having to swallow their words, but “Shiv Sena CEO” (a TOI description) Uddhav Thackeray would go a step further with Congress MP Sanjay Nirupam:

“If he persists, we will make him swallow his teeth.”

Another version spoke about breaking his teeth, but this sounds better. So, what is Nirupam persisting about? The Congress MP, who was once a loyal Sena guy, decided he had to speak up for North Indians, obviously as a pre-electoral move with the BMC polls coming up:

“North Indians play a crucial role in Mumbai. We are told that we, Hindi-speaking migrants, are a burden on Mumbai. This is not true. Actually, it is we who bear Mumbai’s burden…if north Indians make up their mind, they can bring Mumbai to a halt.”

1. 1. I am not sure if this can have any major impact on local polls; most of the immigrant workers are registered in their villages and towns and do not vote, so they are not a real vote-bank in the next level assembly elections. It only helps the politician to give a more cosmopolitan face to the varied constituencies the city is peppered with.
2. 2. Bringing the city to a halt should not surprise anyone because the Sena has done it in the past with its bandhs, ‘spontaneous’ strikes and its hold on the trade unions.
3. 3. There is no single body of North Indians and they are unlikely to get together to halt the city.
4. 4. It has become a largely north-centric fight, when there are many South Indians and Bengalis too in the city. We are dealing with regionalism on a larger scale than is being made out.

In a rather surprising move, the report states:

Uddhav has asked the Congress to clarify if it endorses Nirupam’s remarks. “Balasaheb Thackeray had, in his Dussehra rally address, warned that there was a conspiracy to delink Mumbai from Maharashtra. Nirupam’s Nagpur speech has confirmed our fears.”

Mumbai does not need to be physically/technically delinked; it already is. If the Sena is so concerned about all of Maharashtra, why is it that there aren’t too many reports of the party workers beating up someone in Satara or even Ralegaon Sidhdhi, Anna Hazare’s fielfdom? Simple. Few people migrate to the small towns and villages. It is the lucre of Mumbai that attracts people, or the illusion of it.

Like every other party, the Sena too would not want any such delink simply because they too would lose out on big icapital. How many trade unions does the Sena control in the towns, except for the industrial belts?

It is interesting that they want an answer from Sharad Pawar, the Sugar King of Satara, for they know that they have to safeguard the monetary interests just in case they come to power or can benefit in some way from kickbacks and scams.

As for the Sanjay Nirupam Congress talk, it is all hot air. Had he still been with the Shiv Sena the teeth they are threatening he will be forced to swallow would have been biting the same North Indians.

- - -

In another case about disparities, actor Shiney Ahuja is angry. He ‘features’ in an ad for a mobile company. I was put off by it when I first saw it, but for a reason entirely different from the one Shiney has sent a legal notice for: that it takes a dig at his case.

His case is that he was convicted for raping his maid and later released on bail following an appeal. The ad amounts to “willful character assassination”. It shows a young woman exclaiming, “Shiney bought me a new 'Bling' (the name of the cellphone). Her friend retorts, “He bought me one too”, flashing the handset.

Soon a phone rings and it belongs to the maid. They look surprised and more so when she says, “What? Saab bought me one.”

The ad has been taken off air. Shiney’s publicist issued a statement:

“As we know, Shiney had challenged his conviction and the Bombay High Court has admitted his appeal, which is currently pending hearing. For the mobile company to air such a commercial influencing public opinion when Shiney's appeal is pending hearing, is equivalent to contempt of court.”

Shiney and his wife have given extensive interviews where they have tried to ‘influence public opinion’. (My questions remain unchanged.) He has signed films and will be a visible figure, maybe even a good one. What put me off about the ad is not the Shiney factor, but the class aspect. It seems okay for two spoilt young women to be given gifts by the same man, but they are shocked when the maid even possesses it. Her expression is one of guilt, as though owning what the great Indian dream tells us is now a ubiquitous gadget even in the villages is wrong. Besides, a maid being given a gift makes her suspect. Why are those two women not suspect for being he beneficiaries of what the man has given them?

The company may say that it is fictional but it is obviously a dig, and if they call this humour then honestly they have yet to discover where the funny bone exists. It is time the ad companies realised that helpers have mobile phones; not all are gifts. They are available cheap. And if they are given these, it is by their employers who want to keep in touch and know what time they will report for work. This is a job necessity, not to please some saab.

It is not Shiney but the domestic help sector that should be objecting. But, of course, Shiney gets to stay in the news. By hook or by crook.

Here is the ad:

Digvijay Singh and the many shades of terror

The problem with Digvijay Singh’s recent statements about saffron terror is that they seem tangential. The question is most certainly not the veracity of what he has said, but it is also rather convenient to ignore what he is saying. It has resulted in a bizarre blame game with both sides claiming to be beaten up with rods and sticks. Then, there is the banter of “Is the Congress party with him or does it distance itself from his comments?”

No one cares about the initial spark when the Indian Mujahideen were seen as natural suspects. Here are quotes from some reports:

The government's refusal to speak on the nature of groups behind the terrorist attack saw Muslim leaders object to conclusions about an IM hand. Some even hinted at saffron terror.

While Congress did not speculate on the identity of terrorists behind Mumbai attacks, the party did not take kindly to IM being named without official confirmation. The party reaction came in response to questions about terror outfits being named within minutes of the recent Mumbai incidents.

AICC spokesman Shakeel Ahmed said, "You should ask this question to mediapersons sitting left and right in the room because they have named the group. Only they can answer how the culprits are identified within minutes of an incident." Terror outfits should be named only after the government had confirmed their role, he said. "This is a sensitive issue. So one should not speculate on it, it vitiates the atmosphere."

For the past few days we have seen a veritable line-up of all possible names – SIMI, HuJI, LeT, ISI, Kashmir extremist groups, IM. So, why is there such a reaction when saffron terror is mentioned? Digvijay Singh did not implicate them, but said in response, “I do not rule out anything”. It was only later that he said:

"I have been saying that RSS was spreading terrorism in the country and it has been making bomb factories.”

He clarified that it was not about these blasts.

In a rather well-timed move Swami Aseemanand who had confessed to his role in several blasts has said he is “innocent”.

The rightwing is getting all hot and bothered and its party spokesperson Shahnavaz Hussain stated:

"The BJP condemns the disgusting statements of Digvijay Singh and seeks an apology from Congress chief Sonia Gandhi on this.”

Well, there are a lot of people who are disgusted with a lot of things. Instead of an apology, ask Digvijay Singh to produce the evidence he says he possesses regarding the role of saffron terror.

I am a bit curious about the Gujarat IM angle. I think there is a concerted attempt to push the Gujarati idea deliberately. The IM’s role is probably the most obvious from the perspective of observers, but I find this portion from a report datelined Ahmedabad rather intriguing:

Terror outfit Indian Mujahideen has tied up with Taliban for sinister plans in India. Crime branch officers, who arrested a key IM operative, Danish Riyaz, in June claim to have unearthed details of the joint venture between the IM and the religious militia in Pakistan-Afghanistan.

A senior crime branch officer said, “Emails and correspondence of Danish with five top terror operatives, including Haroon of Kolkata, have revealed this conspiracy across international borders. Haroon had also been to Hyderabad to meet Danish to discuss their plans.”

These developments had taken place before Danish was arrested from Vadodara railway station in June. “According to Haroon’s emails, 10 handpicked youths from across the country were to be sent to Pakistan and then Afghanistan for terror training,” said another senior officer of the crime branch.

This sounds like some corporate tie-up. Danish was in Gujarat, a state that is known to be quite hard on any form of terrorism. It is a known fact that chief minister Narendra Modi spends a good deal of money on spying.

If their plan was across international borders, was Mumbai their testing ground? (Do note that they were to go to Pakistan and then Afghanistan for training – does it mean there is a hierarchy in this schooling?) Since Danish did not get to meet with his colleagues, did they carry out the attacks without any ‘leader’? It is extremely pertinent to keep track of what happens when a key member of a group is arrested soon before a major attack takes place.

I find it rather interesting that while Digvijay Singh’s comments allude to the fact that terrorism has no colour and he is pulled up for it, the liberals saying so are seen as, well, liberal. Shabana Azmi said it on a TV panel discussion.

Let us get real: Terrorism has a colour. It has an ideology. It has motives. It has specific targets. It has enemies. It comes about due to several reasons – from anti- majority to anti-minority to anti any other.

- - -

In fact, the term terrorism has gained popular currency and is used for just about anything – from fashion to pop culture to food to activism.

Terrorism is a word that is used carelessly.

Imagine a group of citizens who do not want a flyover on their road. The Peddar Road residents have been fighting against it for several years. Earlier singer Lata Mangeshkar, who lives on the main road, had said that the pollution would affect her voice and had even emotionally blackmailed the authorities by saying she would leave the city if it came up. This is a tony locality and it is fair to raise doubts about kickbacks and pollution, even if it might do these people some good if they checked the number of cars per family in these same areas before grumbling about pollution. However, I am plain disgusted to read someone from the residents’ association say:

“If a high-intensity bomb is exploded by terrorists on and under the flyover, it will fall in our compounds. Also, the area lies on a fault line. In case of any calamity, even the rescue vehicles won’t be able to reach people.”

Actually, I am not disgusted. It is expected. Pollution does not sound grand enough. Think of bombs falling in their compounds.

And here is the Times of India. Look at the picture, see who is in it and the caption they have used with it:

SECURITY ABOVE ALL ELSE: A policeman tells a biker that he can’t park his vehicle at Zaveri Bazar on Monday

No comments from me.


End Note:

- - -

Make up your minds, Mumbaikars. You either laud the 'spirit of Mumbai' or you rubbish people who continue their plans to host functions. The Shiv Sena has taken Shahrukh Khan to task for celebrating some film release. He is not in it and has no stake and it was planned much ahead. People have watched the film, eaten popcorn, laughed and joked.

It will be the film community that will attend police functions and be tapped for money, and they will contribute. There is much to critique about Bollywood, but when the Sena and other parties hold their special meetings and have chai-pakoras and start planning on their next move, they too are celebrating the possibility of their victory in the next polls. If they are not, then shut up and promise you will not contest elections riding on the back of this incident. I will say the same applies to Digvijay Singh, who I am reasonably certain will not win. Shabana Azmi can.

Contradictions anyone?

Gujarat at the UN, Shiv Sena at Unity

Is it right for an issue that has to do with Indian court cases to be taken to an international organisation? In principle I do not agree. But, the fact is we cannot put strictures on stapled visas to China and who is talking to whom in the North East and Kashmir.

Of course, these are issues of insurgency movements. Gujarat is not. This is the reason why the Supreme Court pulled up activist Teesta Setalvad for reporting to the Geneva-based UN Human Rights Council about 10 serious Gujarat riot case proceedings monitored by the highest court. I’d like to counter-question some of the posers by Justices D K Jain, P Sathasivam and Aftab Alam:

“It shows you (Teesta) do not have confidence in us. We are monitoring the cases and are here to hear your grievances. Yet, you write to the UN body. Can the international body provide protection to witnesses?”

Does this mean that the witnesses need to be protected? Has the court provided for such protection?

“Can they guide us how to proceed with the cases?”

No. But there is a charter of human rights that have to be followed. It is not to guide the courts; it is to take up the issue of victims.

“You are reporting the day-today proceedings in the Supreme Court and trial courts to that organization as also what the joint commissioner of police does. Is the international body a disciplinary authority for the police?”

No. It can only prepare a report based on the police’s acts of omission and commission.

However, Setalvad ought not to report every detail. There is also the issue of an international organisation getting involved for its own agenda. It is also prudent to ask whether the victims gave the go-ahead. Such cases are delicate in nature and they and their families have to live in the state and deal with people and the authorities on a daily basis.

In the interest of transparency she should also make the communication with the international organisaiton public. One assumes she has shared it with the court by now.

As I had said earlier: This is about Gujarat, not Teesta.

- - -

On Sunday, the 23rd, Shiv Sena chief Bal Thackeray will celebrate his 84th birthday. The party has decided to mark this occasion as ‘Hindu Ekata’ (unity) day.

This has nothing to do with Hindus or unity, but wih the BMC elections and, as reports say, to embarrass the Congress for bringing up the issue of Hindu terrorism.

The Shiv Sena has the gall to now claim that the saffron coour of its flag is about a blend of various communities and castes as it was during the Bhakti movement.

Perhaps this doha (couplet) by Kabir, the bhakti poet and sage, might be a good birthday gift for Balasaheb:


Bura Jo Dekhan Main Chala, Bura Na Milya Koye
Jo Mann Khoja Apna, To Mujhse Bura Naa Koye

My rough translation:

I sought the wicked ones, but found none
And when I looked within myself, I found none more evil than me

News meeows

True lies:

In times when exposes have become grandiose, Mumbai Mirror (Jan 11 issue) sent out its reporter to apply for membership to various political parties. He said he was a freelance web writer. This was enough to make him seem educated and he is young, too, which is what
everyone is looking for.

It is appalling to discover that one can become a member of any political party without anyone bothering to check on not only credentials but basic details. He even lied about his address.

The NCP was the quickest, followed by Shiv Sena, BJP and the MNS, whose office was also the most crowded. Within 48 hours he had laminated ID cards for all these parties. The Congress is the only one that asked for proof of address and PAN card number and the form he
has filled will take a week to process. I assume there will be some standard used for that.

What does this reveal? Party members can participate in several activities and have access to programmes organised by them. Should the person wish to take advantage, he can easily do so and there will not be any evidence. A fake name, a fake address, a fake profession - think about these the next time someone sells a political leader and party to you.

Are the political parties desperate or do they want such 'invisible'
people who can hide their shame?

- - -

True idiocy:

"It's true that the price of milk and vegetables are high. Some of this is a reflection of economic prosperity and purchasing power."

- Montek Singh Ahluwalia, deputy chairman, Planning Commission

Someone tell him that we are not talking about limited edition solitaires. A country's economic prosperity is judged by how it manages to improve its main sector - agriculture here.

The high cost of essentials, in fact, is a yardstick of poor policies. I heard someone say on a TV discussion on Doordarshan, I think, that if the price rise is being attributed to bad crop, then why are egg prices high? "Murgi ne tau andey dene band nahin kiye! (the hens have not stopped laying eggs)"

If our purchasing power is so high then even the fairly pricey restaurants would not be replacing onions with cabbages. But who's to tell these kings of fancy economic policies?

- - -

True grit:

This news has made me really happy.

Polio cases in India are down by 94 per cent from 741 in 2009 to 42 last year.

It seems like such a small thing but in our land of bad health care, superstition and lack of initiative, this shows we can do it if we genuinely want to.

Just two drops can save so many people of a debilitating disease and also closed minds.

Rahul Gandhi, Saffron Terrorism and America

Time to come out

Had anyone heard Rahul Gandhi talk about ‘Hindu terrorism’ before? Then why is everyone jumping the gun and accusing him of vote-bank politics? Will the saffron leaders make up their minds whether he is trying to get Muslim votes or that he should not have talked to a foreign diplomat? Were these parties not crowing just the other day about how in Nitish Kumar’s economic paradise, Bihar, Muslims voted for him just as they had done in Narendra Modi’s Gujarat? So, why are they getting into a tizzy?

Closing ranks - Uma Bharti with the BJP's Lalji Tandon

Uma Bharti wants Rahul to learn history, and indeed he should, just as much as she should not only learn history but also stop telling lies. And denying the existence of saffron terrorism. History is Nathuram Godse. History is the Jan Sangh that was in opposition to the Muslim League even before the Partition. History is that religious politics has been around.

I again wish to point out, as I have done earlier, that these WikiLeaks cable reports are quoting western diplomats. In this case:

(Rahul) Gandhi is reported to have told US ambassador Timothy Roemer although “there was evidence of some support (for the LeT) among certain elements in India's indigenous Muslim community, the bigger threat may be the growth of radicalized Hindu groups, which create religious tensions and political confrontations with the Muslim community”.

Where would she be without them? Sadhvi Pragya with the BJP top leadership

Is this not true? While Jammu and Kashmir has seen outside infiltration, we cannot ignore the local militant groups and the role of the security forces, whether there are WikiLeaks about it or not. And no one can deny the polticisation of the armed forces during the BJP regime. That was a very real threat. Sadhvi Pragya was with an armyman.

Incidentally, it is Muslims who should be raising their voices since he has mentioned support to LeT from the indigenous Muslim community (and not even ‘radicalised Muslim groups’). But, we shall let that pass because not everyone can be in denial.

Anyhow, compare the casualties caused by the Lashkar-e-Taiba in the rest of India with those in communal riots. Don’t the figures speak for themselves?

Here are some quotes:

“If he sees a fringe group as the biggest threat…it only underscores how ignorant he is about India.”

         - Ravi Shankar Prasad, BJP

The BJP, VHP, RSS, Bajrang Dal, Shiv Sena are fringe groups? Don’t try and divert attention. He mentioned the radicalised political groups and everyone knows about the support they get. As much as the LeT gets from the powers in Pakistan.

“It is ‘shocking’…there is a race among senior Congress leaders to project Hindus as terrorists.”

- RSS

This should have happened long ago. It is unfortunate that the RSS is branding all Hindus and assuming they support this sad little organisation. Just as not all Muslims will support the Jamaat-e-whatever and the Indian Mujahideen. Hindutva parties must fight the Congress for its role in communal politics as and when it actually takes place. But at that time these parties are busy doing their own ballot dancing.

“They don’t know what the Hindu ethos stands for. To call Hindu groups more dangerous that the LeT is the product of a sick mind.”

- Prakash Javdekar, BJP

Is the BJP in charge of the Hindu ethos? It is a way of life, isn’t it? It is about karma, isn’t it? So, let the Hindus decide what ethos they wish to follow. I don’t know how exactly Rahul Gandhi has been quoted, but since he has stood by the general comment, I’d like to state that any person with some perspective can see that ‘more dangerous’ is contextual. It also means that the BJP is not denying anything.

Narendra Modi - the economy is at the tip of his sword

One can safely aver that had he said that it was less dangerous the effect would have been the same.

Some have said that he should have shown maturity while talking to a foreign diplomat. Had he said something really nasty about the Indian Mujahideen would anyone have questioned his maturity?

I am pleasantly surprised he dropped all inhibitions to state this. Consider the background. The US plays Pakistan rather well and knows pretty much what it is up to. He has given them another headache to worry about. This has nothing to do with vote-bank politics, but the survival of the Congress party’s supremacy in Indo-US cooperation. If America says, “Fight terrorism”, then the Congress will shoot back that we will be with you, Uncle Sam, but help us out to deal with our opposition.

I’d say, this is a new mature Rahul Gandhi, and never mind what you will watch in the debates on TV tonight. All that frothing will create minor studio storms. The Gandhi guy has ensured that the pool of still waters will run deep into the US mindset. He is not interested in what Indians think.

I won’t vote for him, but I’ll lend him my ear.

Raj Thackeray’s Mosquitoes

Like most people in the world, I do not like mosquitoes, whether they infect with malaria or merely take a sip of my blood. However, I always thought of them as creatures that we are supposed to thank Nature for. You know how it is…everytime a little slimy thing is considered good because it gets rid of another slimy thing. So, mosquitoes must have their virtues, and I would have been happy enough to take responsibility for their existence in my backyard.

But Maharashtra Navnirman Sena (MNS) chief Raj Thackeray has blamed ‘migrants' for the mosquitoes that have caused a malaria outbreak in the city:

"Dengue and malaria are spreading fast in the city due to the dirty illegal slums which are occupied only by the migrants. The city had the diseases earlier as well, but now the situation is different and migrants are attacking Mumbai and ruining it.”

Okay, so one assumes that the earlier version of malaria was tamer. The new mosquitoes are immigrants who have come from places to destroy the pure Maratha immune system. Since mosquitoes do not think much about such political dimensions of their actions, they are the lackeys of the human migrants.

These chaps from UP and Bihar decided that Mumbai, the city where they wish to make a living, needs to be slowly destroyed. They tried with their lingo, their rough-hewn manner, but somehow a tough city likes it rough. They were welcomed. The poor Marathi maanus, who left to themselves are happy doing what they do, were supposed to feel affronted. Being a lazy bunch, they were lured into believing their jobs were being snatched by the outsiders. The Marathi maanus checked their resumes to see whether they had posted them in the first place and when they realised they had yellowed, they woke up, had their Shiv Sena sanctioned vada-paav, and started attending rallies which felt like work.

They still remain simple souls who might drop in at Ravindra Natya Mandir, go to their Mantralaya offices, return dot on time (although the younger lot is different but does not feel threatened by outsiders). However, the germ of this immigrant idea has been put in their heads and they are shaking those heads. Now Raj Thackeray is telling them that the moment they get fever, a cough and cold and start shivering, it is because of UP and Bihar.

What Raj bhau does not realise is by saying that these people are all living in slums, he confirms the belief that the Marathi maanus have it better.

Of course, since the slums are dirty it is these outsiders who will be affected most. So, who is responsible for the mosquitoes – they or the insiders who want to throw them out?

The malaria of Maharashtra mystery deepens.

Faisal, Farah and Lie Detecting

Everyone is going on about who this Faisal Shahzad is. As though they are supposed to know.

His neighbor has given some information: "He was quiet. He would wear all black and jog at night. He said he didn't like the sunlight."

He bought fireworks but according to the shopkeeper, those would not harm a watermelon. However, had he got them in the blackmarket it might have been different. I guess he is the stingy sort.

My question is: Why did the US and its agencies say immediately after the Times Square bomb scare that they did not suspect any Islamist group? How did this superpower with all the arsenal at its disposal make this pronouncement? And what changed? A guy who is a Pakistani and says he was trained in Waziristan. This sounds just too convenient, especially after Mehsud comes back from the dead and declares that the Taliban will attack the US. This fits in. Of course, they are still not taking it at face value for they don’t have to worry about the Taliban at all. They are thinking other nations. Or other cities.

Do remember that US intelligence had warned India of attacks in its major cities and our security and sniffer dogs went all paranoid. Either they were misled or they misled.

I wish that instead of a hotdog cart owner who was the one to smell the bomb it was a kebab seller. That would have been nicer.

- - -


The truth serum is on its way out. The Supreme Court wants investigations to be based on techniques other than narco analysis and brain mapping.

While it is true that such information gathered through lie detection techniques is inadmissible as evidence, it might have helped in putting the cops on a specific track.

Is it inhuman, given the health risks? I’d imagine it is better than keeping undertrials in prisons for years.

Former IPS officer YP Singh made a pertinent point:

“The test helped reveal vital details. Now, the use of third-degree could increase. Professional investigators are essential to conduct probes minus scientific tools. But such professionalism is no longer left in the Mumbai police force. Narco-analysis was increasingly used as it was easier.’’

Will doing away with it make the police force more vigilant to the actual collecting of data and vital circumstantial evidence? I am wary. Think about the cases where clues have not been collected or have disappeared.

We might recall how disturbed our Balasaheb Thackeray was when a Naxalite under the narco influence said that the Shiv Sena had funded them. Wonder what the SS chief would have to say had the accusation been made after a few pints of warm beer, that he had a special fondness for at one time.

- - -

Oh, here’s a story about how a Muslim woman is fighting her way into the fight club. Jordanian Farah Malhassa is a body builder. She says:

“Everyone is against me. No one understands why I want to become an international star in figure body-building.”

For six years she has been working out, managed to get all those tattoos, is now ready to go to Canada for an international competition, so there must be at least some support. I wish she would not create such a negative picture, since she is sitting in Amman and managing all this.

I think I understand her family disapproving and wondering why she wanted to “deform my body and make myself look ugly”. This is the general perception. We do have fixed ideas about the male and the female body. A man who is not of strong build or his manner not masculine enough is considered effeminate. Women who do not possess the right body type – differing in cultures (interestingly, this applies mainly to the female) – are made to become aware of it.

Farah might like muscles, but not all women do. Sure, she ought to have a choice and she has made it. Some of us just course through life training with the weight of our follies. And they come in different sizes.

Muslims on a leash...

...held by Shiv Sena and Modi's men

When the Shiv Sena and the Maharashtra Navnirman Sena start protecting Muslims, it is time for our antennae to go up. They are parochial parties, and the former’s role in the Bombay riots and its communal stance is well-known.

The case of Majid Khan that I had written about - Dogs allowed, but not Muslims - has taken a turn because these two parties have done the turncoat act from their positions. They went to the building from where he was barred, held a meeting with the society members and asked them if they had a problem with a Muslim staying there.

“Until the Sainiks went there on Monday, some elements prohibited me from even going anywhere near the society. But the Sainiks insisted that I go with them there and sit in the very house that I had rented,” said Majid.

One can well imagine his relief. There will be a general feeling that the SS is doing something concrete and it does not believe in discrimination. Right now Majid Khan is only a Muslim; they probably have not asked whether he is from Bihar or UP or Tamil Nadu. They cannot afford to expose their hypocrisy and will play their cards well. As one of their members said:

“We have made it clear that we will give him 24-hour protection during his family’s stay in the building. Irrespective of who opposes him, we will stand by Majid. The idea is to send out a clear message that a person should not be ostracised because of caste, creed or religion.”

This is frightening. They have held a Muslim man captive and he is supposed to owe the roof over his head to them. If anyone has to give him 24-hour protection then it ought to be the cops, not a political party. This is not the Sena’s private durbar. This is not Chembur’s Panchayati Raj with some mukhya sitting and deciding.

If the Shiv Sena is honest, it should have helped Majid Khan file a police case, as I mentioned.

I am also struck by the photograph of the family. Had the man been a ‘typical’ Muslim, then would the Sena have come forward? This looks like any urban family, and personally it is how they are and many of us are. But a clean-shaven pant-shirt Majid with a Hindu wife has definitely played a role. I can imagine some SS blokes slapping their thighs and saying that this is how Muslims should be to belong to the mainstream, never mind that they go around looking like half-baked godmen themselves.

There is no message here and instead of the society members being made an example of narrow-minded discriminatory tactics, it is Majid Khan who has been made an example of the Muslim who will be forced to cop-out and become a ‘protected’ species.

Would he have dared oppose the Shiv Sena’s interference? No. And in that No lies the story of what threat really means.

- - -

The business of protection against threat has become very important.

IPS officer Rajkumar Pandiyan, accused of killing Sohrabudin in a fake encounter in Ahmedabad in collusion with cops D G Vanzara and Dinesh MN, on Monday said he should have been honoured by the country for eliminating the most dreaded criminal instead of being put behind bars.

Sohrabuddin Sheikh and his wife were kidnapped and locked up in a farmhouse in November 2005. He was then dragged to a spot and shot dead, with one of the big cops asking his men to take the body to the civil hospital. Two days later his wife Kausar bi was burnt to death. The initial CBI reports did recreate the scene.

It will be recalled that top officials were transferred by Narendra Modi’s government to protect them. Now Ram Jethmalani will be able to appeal the case of Pandiyan even though his client says he killed Sohrabudin in a fake encounter.

Pandiyan wants to be feted because he believes he saved the nation from this threat. He obviously has little idea about what constitutes a nation and its laws. If the cops are really convinced and upto the task then they capture criminals and see to it that they are tried legally, and if at all they have to shoot, it is when they have evidence and a warrant. They do not lock them in farmhouses and then fake an encounter.

It is cowardly. And we still do not have a medal for cowardice.

- - -

Picture of Majid Khan's family - Mumbai Mirror

I told you so...

The Shiv Sena and Shahrukh Khan have "climbed down" a bit, without altering their "ideological" positions. So, the SS is not interested in doing anything to interfere with the release of 'My Name Is Khan' and the actor won't take the war of words further. How convenient.

Anyhow, I said this would happen a few days ago in 'News Meeows -23'.

The new news was in yesterday's papers. One would imagine TV debates that are aired live to keep up with fresh news. Instead, we had the same things regurgitated. The usual shouting to emphasise nothing.

A few noticeable points:

* A studio audience is not the "aam junta".
* Dissent is not some tutored youth, who believes Shahrukh has done so much, standing up to say they would all go and line up to watch the film ("Come on guys, let us show them," he said). It is called falling prey to hype and following trends.
* Konkona Sen Sharma saying, "But arts and sports must be exempt from all this, no?" is the sort of bubble some people wish to protect. Why only arts and sports? There is a world outside also, no?

Did no one read the papers that morning? If they did, why did they not discuss the fact that there was a 'truce' of sorts.

Neither the SS nor Khan is standing for any ideological position so let us not even get there.

Bachchan, Modi, Terrorists and Mumbai

Political expediency can be this obvious:

Bollywood superstar Amitabh Bachchan has formally agreed to become the brand ambassador. Bachchan will participate in the development of Gujarat. He will use his image worldwide to promote tourism. Chief minister Narendra Modi in a letter to Bachchan has welcomed the actor’s decision.

Mr Bachchan was the brand ambassador of Uttar Pradesh. Ever since Amar Singh’s fallout with Mulayam Singh Yadav, it was understood that the Bachchans would not stick around. However, he ought not to have been in such a hurry. Gujarat has been flaunting its economic progress; it has done well for itself. So, obviously, it isn’t that everything was in the doldrums and they needed a superstar.

Mr B’s relationship and exposure to Gujarat is limited. I can hear the voices saying, he is an Indian and the best representative. True. But tourists are not going to flock to the state because of him. To make it worse, he had this to say:

“I do not agree with anyone who calls me shahenshah. This title is more apt for Modi; I am nowhere close.”

And, as a citizen of the country, he ought to realise that the Modi regime has been harsh on the industry from which he earns his livelihood. He may not protest when their films are banned, but the least he can do is not help out an establishment whose human rights record is abysmal.

This is complete obeisance, typical Bachchan fake humility. Only in this case, it sends out a different message. He owes it to the people of the nation. I doubt whether we’ll hear much against this, and if you do it will be couched in sober words.

Mr Amitabh Bachchan has conveniently sold out to the best possible hope for him at the moment. Mr Bachchan has acted irresponsibly in doing so.

- - -

How stupid it all is. This Marathi maanus versus the rest of the country. I have said it before that the RSS will not support the Shiv Sena stance because the saffron lot depends on the northern belt. So, no surprises about the BJP’s position.

However, they have smartly – and wrongly – invoked Article 370 to define the Sena attitude to that prevalent in Jammu and Kashmir. One has to do with sovereignty; the other prejudice. One has got a historical reason, however fissiparous it has turned out to be; the other is simply to keep out immigrants from within. Article 370 does not talk about kashmiriat; the Sena idea is about Marathi maanus.

Is the opposition to this strong, or even sensible, enough? No. Here is what Rahul Gandhi has said:

“North Indians (NSG) saved Mumbaikars during 26/11. If terror has to be fought, let Biharis stay in.”

This is ridiculous. Is he trying to say that the NSG specifically employs only North Indians? How many Mumbaikars were saved? What about the times they were not saved? Since when have Biharis become the force against terror? Is this about terrorism at all?

Sheer poppycock is passing for politics, which is bad enough on its own.

All that has to be done is throw the Constitution on the face of the Shiv Sena or drag the party to court. No Opposition party will dare do that because they are thinking about the future, about coalitions, about feeding their own vote banks.

News meeows - 23

Tony Blair’s sycophancy towards the US is well-known. He is now defending himself before the first official grilling of sending 45,000 troops to Iraq in 2003. That is six years too late.



His remarks are completely off:

“This isn’t about a lie, or a conspiracy, or a deceit, or a deception, this is a decision. And the decision I had to take was, given Saddam’s history, given his use of chemical weapons, given the over 1 million people whose deaths he caused, given 10 years of breaking UN resolutions, could we take the risk of this man reconstituting his weapons programme? I believed ... that we were right not to run that risk.”

Was this his decision or his Party’s? Or was it prompted by America? Had Saddam caused deaths outside his country? Did anyone in Iraq seek western intervention? Now that no WMDs have been found, he is talking about the threat of Saddam reconstituting his weapons programme. Does the West not have the technical arsenal to know about such earth-shaking occurrences? Aren’t they warning the rest of the world about imminent attacks? Weapons programmes do not just drop from certain skies or sprout from the soil of selected nations. It takes some work and that can be traced.

The more amazing comment is Blair being concerned about Saddam breaking UN resolutions. Apparently he had already promised Bush his support to get to the weapons for, “If we tried the UN route and that failed, my view was it had to be dealt with.”

So, the possibility of the UN route failing was there. Could not Saddam have utilised those same loopholes and tardiness?

And then he has the gumption to state that the post-war planning was flawed:

“The planning assumption that...everybody made was that there would be a functioning civil service. Contrary to what we thought ... we found a completely broken system.”

What did he expect? After decimating a country pretending to help it, there would be a system that would work so that the West could arrive to the sound of bugles and put up a puppet regime?

This war was a lie and deceit. And there ought to be international legal provisions to try leaders of countries that use the UN as their toad.

- - -

Can Shahrukh Khan please thank the Shiv Sena? Or has he already done it much before the ‘controversy’? I hate to revisit the IPL saga, but when the first bits of news trickled in I did not read a single comment by the actor. He came in later to say that the Pakistanis and Australians must be allowed to play. Now, the Shiv Sena has asked its party’s loyal workers to tear posters of the not-yet-released film My Name Is Khan.

Last night I was watching a discussion between a SS guy and an activist, Gerson da Cunha. We know what the SS guy must have said, but Mr da Cunha wondered why the Shiv Sena has not done anything about ‘Bombay’ Port or the ‘Bombay’ Times. I found the latter bit intriguing. The gentleman, although among the few truly genuine people as per my instinct, is pretty much visible on Page 3. It was, therefore, a bit surprising that he brought this up. Also, he made a specific reference to the TOI “at Bori Bunder”! As many of you might not be aware, that stretch was called that, the Bori standing for the Bohris – a sect of Muslims. I think he was trying to make a point.

Anyhow, after that I changed channels and there was Sharukh on a news programme talking with Karan Johar and Kajol and they did their hokey-pokey routine. Is anyone from the SS objecting to the promos, the interviews on TV, in the newspapers?

No. Because the SS needs to be in the news and so do the people “in trouble”, especially if the trouble is going to get them the attention they need at the moment.

The Shiv Sena is a public service organisation that keeps our celebrities in fine fettle. The film is to release only in the second week of this month. Our Home Minister P. Chidambaram has come out and spoken about how he would like to see the Pak players in action. He said it was his personal opinion. The Home Minister cannot appear before the media and give his personal opinion on a subject that has the nation in thrall and is already a diplomatic disaster. No one asked him what his favourite video game was.

So, Shahrukh gets Congress support but being a good Maharashtrian he will also be nice to the SS…maybe an apology, maybe a special meeting with the Supremo where ‘the matter will be resolved’? And then a special screening with buttered popcorn?

- - -

How important is it for anyone to have news channels discuss Sania Mirza’s broken engagement? We know that the media is intrusive and we are. If it has to be reported, fine. Be done with it. But, no. They were playing Hindi film songs in the background and brought in the third party factor, too. Worse, her publicity-hungry father was telling media persons about “incompatibility”, and one anchor in the studio said how can they now become incompatible when they were compatible when they got engaged?

Clearly, this woman has no idea. Did the media ask them whether they planned to get married because they were compatible? It could have been that he liked watching her play.

This has given enough grist for the glossies and sundry snippets to debate the issue about women’s achievement and men’s insecurity. Ten people are asked ten questions in ten places and they give ten answers which effectively say nothing that we don’t already know.

For the 'don’t already know' and my views, watch this space. (Hah, isn’t that how the media keeps you hooked? I am just tryin’ my hand at it too!)

Taxi, Taxi

I thought it was Raj Thackeray. But it was Maharashtra chief minister, Ashok Chavan, trying to convince us that is was important that taxi drivers in Mumbai will get a licence only if they are domiciled in the city for 15 years and can read, write and speak in Marathi.

This is not the Shiv Sena, but we must remember that Mumbai’s psyche has subconsciously imbibed the SS ideology. It is part of the anti-immigration move. Most commentators wonder how a cosmopolitan city can be like this. It is precisely the cosmopolitanism that is causing the problems. We are dealing with several types and now have them pushed against the wall based on different factors – religion, region, language, economic status, education.

Most cabbies are from Uttar Pradesh and Bihar. As always, the cities biggies are saying, oh, let us stop them for a month and see how the city suffers. That is not the point. This is a selfish way of looking at things.

How many passengers can read, write and speak in Marathi? Even if they do, most prefer to speak in English or Hindi. English because it makes them appear superior and Hindi because it is the language of Bollywood. I have seen yuppie types converse in ‘Bhai’ underworld lingo! It is not unusual to watch a Raju driver type being addressed as “Boss, idhar say right turn maarna…oye baap, oopar bhejneka chance mangta kya?”

I have tried conversing in some Marathi with cabbies who insist on responding in Hindi. They are either sensitive about my lack of fluency or prefer to use another language.

The other argument about domicile would make sense if the Marathi drivers knew the city as well. The reason given is that they should be able to identify addresses. This is a problem, and I have encountered Marathi-speaking drivers who do not know.

Instead, there should be a system of a central office that can provide such details. With low mobile phone rates, it is not too difficult.

With the advent of private taxis, this will be a huge blow to the black-yellow cabs. Instead of language skills, there should be other mandatory rules – like insistence on running the meter, being polite to passengers, not refusing to ply to certain areas, clearly indicating the timings that a particular cab operates.

An anecdote during the month of Ramzan is worth repeating. I had to reach the airport. No cabs anywhere in sight. Finally, I found one. There was a traffic jam and he started grumbling about getting the wrong place to go to in Marathi to someone on his cellphone. I ignored him. Then the vehicle behind brushed against his cab. He got out, there was a fight and finally upon discovering there was no damage he returned. He started on this spiel about how he would get delayed for breaking his fast.

I started talking on my cellphone and did the Muslim act by interspersing the conversation with “mashallah, inshallah” and ended with "Khuda hafiz”. When we were close to our destination, he said he did not know where the terminal was. I directed him, although all the signs were there.

I had not realised that he had not stared the meter. “Soch-samajh ke de do (give what you think best).”

“Hum pehli baar airport nahin aaye. Seedha bataa do, yeh ginti karma hamara kaam nahin hai (It isn’t the first time I am going to the airport. Tell me straight, I am nto here to count),” I said.

He demanded four hundred for a ride that costs not more than 250 bucks.

I had no choice and he knew it. I did tell him clearly, though, that this was nto the amount and he said he had come all the way and was getting late.

This was getting too much, so after paying him, I did not shut the door, but peeped in and said, “Aapka roze rakhne ka koi faayda nahin. Asli roza hota agar aap tameez se pesh aate aur tareeke se meter chalate. Ab jao aur iftaar manao aur apne gunaah ki muafi maango. Hamara koi nuksaan nahin hua hai, aapka hua hai inn paison ko lene ke baad bhi.” (Keeping the fast has not helped you in any way. True roza is when you behave well and follow the rules. Now go break your fast and accept your mistake. I lost nothing but even with the additional charge you have.)

Azmi’s Raj and Amchi Mumbai

Abu Azmi had been going to town that he would not take the oath in Marathi long before he was sworn in. While Raj Thackeray’s goons from the MNS had no business to get rough with him in the legislative assembly, and follow it up with stone throwing at his house and business establishments, in many ways Azmi had laid the foundation.

Language chauvinism is as bad as any other sort, especially in cities that have a large immigrant population. There are two factors at play:

1. Those who force it down people
2. Those who oppose it even when they do not need to

Azmi says he is not fluent in Marathi and took the oath in Hindi. The script for the two languages is the same. He could have read it out in Marathi. How would it affect him if he said ‘shapath’ instead of ‘saugandh’, both of which mean oath? Part of the problem is that he belongs to the Samajwadi Party whose leader comes from the Hindi heartland, Uttar Pradesh, as do many of its prominent politicians. Azmi’s act in Maharashtra would probably affect the party’s reputation elsewhere.

Has he not put up Marathi signboards on his shoe shop and restaurants? Then, what is the need to make such a fuss beforehand so that those guys are prepared to act when the time comes? Who benefits? All of them. The MNS – with the Marathi maanus; Azmi – with the Hindi belt and for standing up for the national language; Congress – to have someone do their dirty work; Shiv Sena – for jumping in just when they were being dismissed off.

This must be noted. The media and even politicians have been too quick to end the Shiv Sena era and giving Raj Thackeray’s MNS more credit than it deserves. His party did get a few seats, but overall what was its showing? Can we not look at it in perspective? It may be a relatively new party that made its election debut, which is like welcoming a bride into her marital home. The saas will put her on test soon enough, not to forget that her training will be all thanks to her maika (Shiv Sena). Raj pits himself in opposition to his cousin Uddhav and not Bal Thackeray. It is a smart move being passed off as respect. Balasaheb has re-entered Sena Bhavan. Prince Charles, Uddhav, has to just watch as the Queen sits on the throne.

Make no mistake. Raj and the MNS have only managed to give the SS more respectability. As I have written earlier, Raj was the fall guy and will remain so. The goons are with him, but not the real ammunition.

New twist to Hindu-Muslim bhai-bhai

It does not surprise me. Raj Thackeray has infiltrated Muslim localities and managed to sign up more than 1,500 Muslims for primary party membership. His party flag flutters near a Masjid at Dongri, a predominantly Muslim area, and even the Shiv Sena has kept quiet. These people are being brainwashed into believing that North Indians are causing problems.

Do you think they believe in it? No. They are saving themselves. A report says it is economic survival…outsiders are taking their jobs. Rubbish. They are being bulldozed and they are going along. There is little choice. The MNS will have its quota of Muslims to flaunt; these will be a protected species till such time when they are needed.

It does not surprise me. In the past, a certain section of fairly well-placed Muslims are known to have taken mithai boxes (euphemism for money) to Bal Thackeray’s house to settle disputes. His durbar welcomed them. It wasn’t about money, but might. These gentlemen who were known and respected were going to him asking for favours. The ‘Supremo’ (what a fruitcake description) was khush.

It does not surprise me that although Lt. Col. Shrikant Purohit has said the logistics for the blast were provided by hardline Hindus (big strategists, hanh?) he roped in some Muslims in Malegaon to assemble and plant the bombs. It is entirely possible. Survival, survival. Of course, to say that they got the RDX from some Kashmiri Muslims in Pune was a bit much (other evidence says so, too), but it only tells us that even the Hindutva movement cannot survive without Mussalmans.

It started way back when those sadhus went to Ayodhya in December 1992 wearing padukas (wooden sandals) designed by Muslims.

It does not surprise me because I have been saying this is all andar ki baat for some years and was accused of conspiracy theories, that too over Sea Lounge coffee. As it turns out, the froth from the cappuccino was potent.

Dis n Dat

Bal-bal dekho

Bal Thackeray has asked the legal community to defend the accused in the Malegaon blasts. The BJP says it is all right to get private funds. Agreed. There is no need for Balasaheb to make this announcement because criminals always get legal aid and no one questions their lawyers about where they got the fees from. This is a right given to them in the Constitution.

If he is seeking donations, then there has to be a legal edict issued against Mr. Thackeray because that is not on. Woh zamaana gaya when the SS goons would go and knock on doors to demand donations to celebrate festivals, not to speak about getting money from illegal slums. Precious irony here considering most of these slumdwellers were the outsiders, and not Marathi maanus. That was ‘protection money’.

If he regretted the loss of life in Malegaon his boys should have provided relief, so he can cut out the drama as prefix to his real intent. As he stated:

“But if the pseudo secularists in the country are supportive of Afzal Guru [Parliament attack case convict], why should we not love and be proud of Sadhvi Pragya, Ramesh Upadhyay and Samir Kulkarni?”

Pseudo-secularists support Afzal Guru because the death sentence cannot be applicable to him. Simple. They do not love him nor are they proud of him.

“Every day Islamic terrorists are planting bombs to kill Hindus in India. The latest blasts in Assam too were engineered by Bangladeshi migrants. If a Sadhvi Pragya or a Ramesh Upadhyay or a Samir Kulkarni is born in the present milieu, they cannot be blamed.”

Can Mr. Thackeray give us clear figures that state only Hindus are killed in these bomb blasts? If he is trying to convey that young people are impressionable – although these three hardly qualify – then he should justify the terrorism that started in Kashmir and Punjab, and has moved to other places.

Instead he comes up with his usual inanities:

“The arrest of cultured and educated individuals in connection with the Malegaon blasts is an effort to crush Hindus to please Muslim fanatics.”

Haw…if I understand right, Balasaheb is an educated and cultured man and the head of the first goon party in India. Muslim fanatics don’t give a damn whether these three individuals have got their degrees or are cultured, but it bothers me that a leader thinks you can arrest some poor unlettered people and that does not matter.

Psst: all those Muslim jihadis are cultured and educated, too.

Curious: Can someone tell me why some professionals are called software engineers when they also deal with hardware?

Kundali rising

Priyanka Chopra gave four flops and asked director Madhur Bhandarkar to give her his horoscope which she showed her astrologer before the release of the film Fashion. Fashion has been pronounced a hit. Does she therefore believe that her director is supreme and will give him full credit? Will she refuse to take any awards and accolades and direct it all to his birth-chart?

Halal

Some Malaysian maulvis have said that yoga is haraam. I am quite happy. Why is everyone so upset? Anything that expects you to turn and twist like Michael Jackson and hold one nostril and breathe out from the other and make panting sounds is all haraam.

Islam tells you to get straight to the point. Yeah, go for shunya…

Oh my goat!

Saudi women may be behind veils, but boy, their sheep do a real neat strut.

They had this beauty contest for sheep (rams and ewes get their chance as well). The event organiser, Faisal al-Saadoun, said, “Just like humans, sheep shouldn’t have fat in unwanted places.”

I don’t know what unwanted places mean in sheep lingo, but whatever it is, go for it. The winner becomes the prize catch and instead of a modelling contract or a Bollywood film in the pocket is bought at the highest rate. This time Sana won. Sana is a ram, and no gender bias here so stop badmouthing the Saudis. The buyer was ecstatic: “I loved his cheeks, his long neck and how his creamy yellow hair falls down his body.”

As the Arabs would say, marha-baal…

What a headline

“Gwen Stefani unveils baby Zuma”

Like it is an art show or a fashion line?

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If you want to check it out, another review of AJI

The brittle Raj

Jaya Bachchan, as expected, said, “I don’t know who Raj Thackeray is.” She emphasised that she only knows Bal Thackeray and his son Udhhav. Smart woman, as always the sharp guddi. There is some substance to what Raj said about Amitabh; everyone knows that Uttar Pradesh is run by this close-knit mafia of Mulayam Singh, Amar Singh and the Bachchans, with Anil Ambani and Subroto Roy making guest appearances.

She said with a deadpan expression that if the Maharashtra government gave them land they would build a school named after daughter-in-law Aishwariya. No one has bothered to question how they are getting land in UP. But then, a lot has been happening there…

By hitting out at Raj she forgets that his animosity towards the North Indians has been learned from his uncle, Balasaheb, whose grandson’s book launch her husband attended and showered treacly praise on the ‘heritage’.

Now live with it.

Coming to the main protagonist, Raj Thackeray, I had written about him a while ago and reproduce it here:

The one time I saw him has remained etched in memory. I was waiting to get out of the car at an office building in Nariman Point. A monster SUV blocked the entrance. Two gun-toting bodyguards jumped out and stood at attention. A man wearing a starched shirt that would look better in a laundry than on a human body stepped out. He flicked his hair, which was blow-dried and very likely sprayed to stay in place, for that motion of the head moving did not seem to affect it; it flopped back in a neat fall. He went in, leaving the place reeking of an indecipherable strong fragrance.

It did not smell of power. It had the scent of obsessiveness about it. Even desperation.

Raj Thackeray, it was said, walked, talked and even thought like his uncle, the Shiv Sena leader. The man I saw that day seemed more like a small-time struggler faking it in a Bollywood blockbuster.

In some ways, that has been Raj’s story.

Little man tries to emulate marquee man. Realises with time that cloning does not work. Not in the long run.

In the short run it worked like a dream which turned into a nightmare for many.

Raj became the Sena’s ‘hitman’. In Hindi film terminology, he was the spot boy, the makeup man, the stunt artiste. The problem is, he started living those parts. He went around carrying a mirror to look at himself, he worked on his gestures, he took part in the street fights.

As sidekick he got a few brownie points and a place next to that ridiculous Maharaja chair that Balasaheb occupies. But he was no Birbal or Chanakya. He was just another loyal soldier with the right name.

During the Mumbai riots it was Raj who was known for his pugnaciousness (much as Sanjay Gandhi was during the Emergency). At the shakhas, Raj groomed the lumpens. He fit in perfectly in the Shiv Sena scheme of things.

He may have quit the party and started his Maharashtra Navnirman Sena, but nothing much has changed...